they say love moves in mysterious ways...love is unpredictable. unexplainable. unexpected. it just happens. it gives you happiness. it gives you pain. such a learning experience. you just have to take the plunge if you wanted to take the risk...that is if u're strong enough to face the consequence.
I happen to meet a guy from work. He is way much younger than me. We treated each other normally. We were friends. We talked about life and other things under the sun. We enjoyed each other's company that even beyond office hours we communicate. I admit I enjoy talking to him and I feel that he also did. Eventually, we cared for each other. We were both scared of what was happening but we can't let go because we simply cannot. It would have been an easy thing to do...you know, avoid each other and bring back the normal routine...but we can't. The two of us, we were hanging on each other as if each other was the lifeline of the other. I, being the older should have done what was the right thing to do. Avoid him and give distance. But I cannot. I should have done it earlier in the situation. I am married. We have a child. I thought of myself. Selfishly. It came to the point that my spouse started to feel something different about me. Though i tried to convince him there was nothing, he still knows better. Then it happened, at the office, they had a confrontation. Not a good situation. It was humiliating. I was the talk of the town. I am the woman with a scarlet letter. I wanted to sink into the ground and dissapear. but that cannot happen. I must face the music. this is my consequence. I wanted to protect him for everything because he doesn't deserve all this. He has a good heart. All he did was appreciate me as a person that I am and accept me. The truth is I am married. these fact cannot be undone. I wanted to get out of the marriage because we have problems...but for now, would it make a difference?! would things change? would there be peace? My spouse if filled with raging jealousy. I can't do nothing but follow what they say. It hurts a lot. Painful. But it has to be this way. Maybe someday, time will be kind to us...maybe in another lifetime...i can show him the love he deserves...maybe.....
