grumpylover

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HI my name is jasmin
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So much pain I've put you through
so much pain you've put me through
the pain was just to great
we lost control of what was real
What was meant to be
so I've lost you
so I've lost myself
a need to forgive is much greater then the need to forget
but i shall forgive you
i just don't know if you can bare to forgive me
the need to say it in this poem
needing to set my emotions free
to let them fly high as the birds
and yet i don't seem to have wings
i do all this to try and live with myself but i cant
i cant stand our reality
it stings like a venomous poison of a black widow
to mend with this is so hard
yet bending it doesn't feel as bad
help me deal with this i say
but yet there's no reply
the sorrow of my pain
the sorrow of my foray towards you heart
the needless nights of pain
with your memories
will i forever stay?

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The mere pain I feel
It cuts so deep
deep into my heart
to have no clue
no reason
to why
why i feel this pain
no one has harmed me
yet i feel so abused
so used in this world
this world full of hate
the reason why i feel such pain?
no i say no
not the hate
its something inside
something more
the illness that shoots through my brain
my brain
the problem solved
to feel this pain
go away go away i say
but yet it shall
the need of time
of the future like tomorrow
such a beautiful day it seems
and yes it is
the solution to my illness
time only time it is
where it solves itself.

, , , , , , , #hate, , #mix,

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In my life

I feel sad, lonely

And I don’t like those feelings

I see my life.

I don’t like it.

People say “you’re weird.”

“Why do you feel that way?”

They don’t understand

They never will.

They’re not me!!

They’re not in me!!

They see me.

They hear me.

They don’t understand.

They never will.

I want to keep this sad, lonely world in me.

Not share it with the world!! 

 

 

 

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So many things about you,
I want to understand.
Your past, the pain, the scars, the hate you have deep inside, the need of drugging yourself to feel happy.
The reason why you keep wanting them in your life,
eventhough they bring so much pain.
The way you can have so much love to give,
but yet not be able to love yourself.
To rather have yourself die,
then see them get hurt.
To be able to see him,
then have him locked up.
The reason why i cant seem to help you.
To be able to stop you from hurting your body.
I want to understand!
To make you see how much your worth!
To make you believe how beautiful you are.
Why cant you not see how much I need you?
How much I love you.
The trust i lost.
That I understand.
The pain I put you through,
the tears i made fall.
Never again will I do that to you.
I promise to never let you go.
I love you baby girl.

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I miss you... everything about you... your laugh... your beauty... your smile... your eyes... your hug... your mood swings (hehhehhehe)... your touch... how it would bring chills down my spine... the way you kiss... oh how i miss your lips... the touch of your hand on mine... the way we made love... how i wish i can be right by your side... the way i use to take the blankets away from you at night... the way you would make me smile whenever I was feeling down... how you helped me through my pain... the way you make me crack up... how you pissed me off but then knew just the right words to say to make me cool down... the way you make me feel so happy... the things you said to me... they gave me hope... but i just simply miss YOU!!! all and everything about you... I love you... always and forever your *changa*

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Getting through this...
its not going to be easy...
feels like sometimes we're going to break apart...
hake sometimes we do...
me and you...
seems impossible...
your there I'm here...
though the love we have stays strong...
people try to break us apart...
now that everyone knows...
harder for us to be together...
they make me believe things...
things that hurt...
but one thing is for sure...
me and you...
can get through this...
forget about what anybody says...
just think of us...
and we'll get through this..
this i promise you