brittany lindaman

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love fun and love my horses i live on a farm in a small town in iowa and i love to have fun
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you look up at me i know what i am alive for i never felt a love of anything as much as i love you who was to think that such a small person could make you feel  so many big feeling. through all the pain you put me in and thou i carried you for 9 mouths i cant help but want to hold you close even when you are laying right in front of me

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it was i sad day ower friends gatherd in the waten room i had to be strong thats what i told myself and yet i wanted to cry the day i almost lost my bestfriend.
 poeple asked why did you do it and yet all i ask is when can i see you the day i almost lost you.
 i didnt cry yet i wanted to the day i almost lost you.
 i have never been so scared the day i almost lost you.
i just wanted you see you the day i almost lost you.
the day i almost you was the day i almost lost my world.
 i asked myself what i did i do wrong what did i miss i knew you wernt happy  but i never thought this could happen tell the day i almost lost you.
i missed the singes but now i see becouse of the day i almost lost you.
 the day i wanted to die coz i almost lost you.
 i wish i could have seen what you felt i feel so blined becouse of the day i almost lost you. 
but my eyes are open coz of the day i almost lost you.
 my bestfriend i dont want to ever have another like tha day i almost lost you

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i wake to your brething
i wake to your smile
i wake to your smell
sometimes even your tuch
and yet your not even here
and yet i still feel you 
and yet i still hear you breth
and yet i still smell you
and yet i still see you  
your memory is the hardest thing to live with without you here i am losing my mind one day at a time when you are moven on i stay behind i tell my self you dont love me your not here and yet i wake and feel the same every morning coz your not here

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will you ever know how i feel
will you ever care how i feel
do you want me as i want you
do you need me as i need you
what would it talk for you to see
what do i have to do to show you
why wont i just tell you that i love
why is it so hard to be who you want
should i just stop trying
should i keep trying
how could i ever tell you
how could i ever show you
i love you
i want you
you dont want me
you dont feel the same
and yet i love you
and yet i try to be your all
but why do i do all this
but why should i care if you dont
can i live without you
can i be as strong
have you ever flet this way
have you ever wanted to
could you clime i moutain for me
could you make me your all
love you my love
love you my heart

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i see your spirit
i feel your hand
i hear you voice
i how to act
i know what you can do
yet i still fear what i see
i fear what i hear
i fear what i feel
i fear what is left of you 
yes i hear gost
i wish i couldnt but then i couldnt live without it

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i wish you were mine
i wish you couldn't see my pain
i wish i didn't have to hide for you
i wish it wouldn't hurt you when i hurt myself
i wish life would worked the way i wanted
i wish i could love you
i wish i could kiss you when i want to
i wish you would love me
i wish i could tell you just how i feel
i wish you would ask
i wish you could love me
i wish i could have you
i wish life would be ok
i wish you could see who i am not what i am
i wish for you love and nothing more
i wish for your kiss on my lips
i wish for the smile on your face
i wish for that look in your eyes when you look at me
i wish you were mine

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i never meant to hurt you but i do
i never want to be part from you but yet i push you away
i love your smell yet i cant breath when i am with you
i love the way you hold me but i wont let you touch me  
i want to smile when i am with you but i cry
i want to kiss you but i hug you instead
i need you now but i cant ask you for help
i need your love but i wont let you love me
i wish you could know how i feel but i cant show you
i wish you would be my forever but my forever is to short
you are all i ever needed
you are all i ever wanted
you are my world
you are my dreams
you are the hope that makes me move on
you are the light in the dark
you could be my everything
you could be my forever
you could be my last first kiss
you could be my world
you will never now that though
you will only see what i show you
you will only be my friend
i will always stand in the dark 
you will always shin 
i will alway wish for your love
you will never know that what i want most is you
to the one man that will never know that his kiss means more then anything

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i dont like people that think the world should go there way all the time. coz guess what the world is a cold hard place the soon u understand the the easier it will be for you my god be think it happy and everything is good well its not people die people hurt its not all about how much money you have or what you drive coz at the end of the day do your friends want money or love

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where do i go when i am at the end of my rope what do i do with my life when all i see is my pass. there is nothing i frunt of me, nothing behind me just my past rushing thruo my head like a wind of what i should have done. when i look up i see black when i look down i see you and your smiling face staring back at me looking into my soul i siad i would never go back but look at where i am. iam once more lost in your eyes lost in myself is it a lie or is it the truth as form lessons i have learned, but can i take another fall what will happen i enjoy your love to much i just fall apart, but where do i go from here what do i do when there is nothing left to do i cant go up i cant go forword and i dont what do go back. back to the life i left buring its noting but do i go back and try to rebuld or go down where do i go at the end of my rode  

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once i held it all now all i hold are the broken pieces of my heart the remains of a broken life. every broken piece that lays in my hand only shows the sweet memory s i once live. the good times i can no longer bare to even look at the love and life i tried so hard to fight for all fell in on me. now i staid alone broken and hurting  feeling nothing but pain and slowly going insane

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tell me what i think its not done but it part of a song i wrote plz tell me what u think good or bad
When u look at me

You may see

Who am

But not what become

I have become

So cold

My soul is like ice

My heart is so broken

In side

U see my soul

But not my heart

My heart is broken

And my soul is srow

Tears run down my face

Blood run down my arms

My life is broken

My days are shorten

my life is enden

I am so tired of bending

Trying to be what u ask can be so hard

u try to make me look so good

When I feel so bad on in side

So here I lay crying on the outside

Dieing on the in side

All I wish is to end my life

All I would like is for this pain to stop

So stop putting me up so high

On that pedicle

So I don’t have to fall so far

It feels like the ground gets harder ever time

I hit it

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cut my wrist call it quits
hit a vain end the pain
see the blood
run down
see it hit the floor
drop by drop it falls
the more pain
the more sadness
the more pain
the more cut down
and across my arm
the more cuts
the more people cry
the more i cry
the more i cry the more i cut
well i could go on and on but i am done