boulvard

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I have come to the point in my life where I only have one fear. I fear that I have no fears. I love to live life to its fullest and I mean just that. To its fullest!!!I like to experience new and differnt things. I feed on changes and look forward to them. I have some hard line feelings towards people that are racial. IM a biker to the core. I love white water rafting.I love meeting new people and communicateing with them and becoming friends.
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The sun setsUpon the golden sandWe sit togetherHand in handWe gently embraceAnd look into each other's eyesI wonder if you arethe angel that I have prayed for You hold meLike there's no tomorrowI suddenly forget the pastAll the pain that was involvedAll the sadness that was presentI kiss your soft lipsAnd you kiss mineI never knewLoving someone could be this greatI pick you upAnd carry you to my roomOh how a love can blossomAnd a heart can bloom.Your touch is so gentleYour hands so softHow could a love like thisEver go wrong?My heart is beating200 times a minuteBecause my loveYou are in itI listen to your heartbeatAll through the nightWe fall asleep in each other's armsAnd wake to the morning light.I look into your eyesWe embraceWe began to love againWe go through the day Wondering if this is realCan this be happening againIs this a dream?Where did we go wrong to begin?

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I left you all aloneI didnt give u a reasonI didnt say good byeI just leftI had to go far away for a period of timeI had no time to explainI was one minuet talking to you and the next I was on a planeI had no way of contacting youI was far far awayI thought of you each and every dayI missed you soI have come back now Im afraid you have goneIm afraid you have chosen to go out of my life Because I was out of yoursI am back I am here to stayI will never never go away againI miss youI want you back againWill you give me another chanceI miss you

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We were put here to make mistakes.To strive, To fail,To rebeginTo be reborn To taste the tempting fruit of sin,Finding out what bitter food it makes.We are put here to miss the path,To go astray.To wonder blindly in the night.Searching and praying for a light,Until at last we find the way.Looking back along the pastWe know we need all the strain of fearWe need the doubt and strife and painTo make us value peace.We who failFinds triumph later very sweetWe who stumble and fall will regain our balanceWe will run again and dance in the streetsThe troubled, slumbering soul awakesWe learn from our mistakes on our troubled routeThe truths we could not prize withoutThe sorrow of our sad mistakes

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                 What do u think of meWhat do you think when you look at me?Would you believe if I told you I was a killer?I am the Grim Reaper Can you not see?My dark existence unfolds like a suspenseful thriller.What do you think when you look at me?Do you believe in me?Can you see into my mind?Can you see into my world?I want you to see what I see.What do you think when you look at me?Do you feel what I feel?Can you see what makes my life real?What do you think when you look at me?Does the urge fall upon you to kill?Can you feel it!Can you feel it in your soul?!!!Its ok I know it wont let go!!!What do you think when you look at me?Do you have an empty soul?Come to me! Come to me!Let me take controlWhat do you think when you look at me?I am the Reaper I have come for your soul 

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I had this experience todayI want to shareI came face to face with death and had no fearI was rideing my bike going down highway 17 doing about 75 mphThis truck pulled out in front of me and was moving slowI knew I was done with and my life was all overI wasnt looking for a place to turnI wasnt planning to lock down my breaks I knew either way I was deadThere was no way I could liveI was going way to fast and this truck was big and solidI knew it was overI didnt start to prayI didnt start to cryI didnt really want to know whyI just had this feeling inside that it was timeAs me and my bike contiuned down that pathI felt calmThe truck was still in place moving oh so slowI was getting closer and closerStill no effectI was going to ride my bike to the very endI was so close now I could hear the truck engines roarI still felt so very calmI didnt break or try to dodge the truckWhen I was only a few feet from impact the truck movedI went by him missing him by only a few inchesI didnt shake I didnt fearI didnt cry Im afraid I have no more fear

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Your beauty is radiant It glows like the sunIt shines like polished goldI shake my head in awI get distracted I lose my chain of thoughtI notice how you stand and the different poses you make You have a rare...very rare beauty that is so very deepI have a hard time describing your beauty in simple wordsI am amazed that some one can be so beautiful and show it so many differnt waysThrough their appearence Through the material that they writeThrough the look they giveThrough the smile on their faceThrought the tear in their eyeThis beauty that you have is pure and geniune and it can be seen abroadThis beauty that you have is only you....only youIt doesnt matter what you do The beauty is still there It will never go awayBeauty is more than just skin deep with youBeauty is you

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I am afraid to love,.... and yet I love you.My fear is like a wall I walk right through.The wall is there...... and yet it doesn't stop me.I need it still.... and yet I still need you.

I know someday we will be in a fieldSurrounded by the blessing of the sky.I'll dance with all the freedom of pure joyNeeding you without a reason why.

But now I'm still afraid that I might lose youThat you might not accept my desperate need.You make me laugh and cry and be freeYou are the flower, I am the slender reed.

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The color of your skinMeans nothing to meYour race has no bearing on my lifeI love you for who you are Some day I may ask you to be my wifeThe way you care for meLove meTouch me Put me first in your lifeRace is not a word to meI feel we are all the sameWe bleed the sameWe feel the sameWe love the sameWe hurt the same We cry the sameThe color of our blood is the sameWe die the sameIf all this is  true.......Why is it when Im you holding your hand We get stares and glares and talked aboutWe have been called namesFingers pointed at us Talk away you ignorant fools, make your snide remarksSome day you may need some one of another color to save your stupid sorry life

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I have a good  friend who I have fringe benefitsWho I often seeWe use one another to satisfy.... our fantasiesThe things that are in..... make believeShe's not my girlfriend....., just a friendDont you seeShe is some one that I love to lay with and listen to the seaI love to hold her and listen to her heart beatI love to touch her soft silky skinI love to make love to her until we both fall asleepShe is just a friend......nothing real deepWe have come to the point where we are afraid of loveSo we play it all the sameWe wonder some time how good can we get at this game 

 

We have experienced heart ache and painWe have cried standing out in the rainWe ask one another.......is there any gain?We try to tell ourselfs that what we have is not really loveWe are friends that have fringe benefits with one anotherYet down very deep even we know...even we knowDown deep in our souls We still yearn for that feeling loveIs the feeling we have loveOr are we just good friendsThis is my friend that I have fringe benefits with Im afraid I am falling in love

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This is a true story that  I want to shareI am a Crisis worker here where I live and I have done this type of work for a long time. I started it in another state that I lived and just carried it over when I moved here. I get crisis calls from all over the state and my job is to help people that are suicidal, severly depressed, homicidal or just needing some one to talk to.My phone rang one evening and I was really suprised of the young voice that was on the other lineThis young voice explained to me that she no longer wanted to live....that life was not worth living...she was very intent... and appeared to had allready came to a decision, on what she was going to do...I asked her what her age was and she explained that she had just turned eight years oldThis little eight year old went on to tell me that she no longer had her smile. She explained to me that she had no reason to smile any longerShe went on to tell me that (I) had given her that smile about three years ago when she had come into the hospital where I had worked. I didnt remember because I had seen so many children that were abused, neglected physically and mentally....I asked her her name ...and she told me what it was, she then told me that she was taken to the hospital about three years ago by the police when a neighbor had called them because they had heard her crying real loud in her house.I then remembered.....it all came rushing back to me that night when this child had come in our Emergerncy Room battered and brusied by her parents.That night I had sit with her the entire time that she was there...I explained how things would get better and how these wounds would heal. As I continued to talk to her she began to smile...she opened up to me and told me her whole life story which brought tears to my eyes.As we talked her little tears had dried on her face the redness left her eyes and a big smile was on her faceWhen portective services came in I explained that I had to go...I gave her a smiley face that I put on her little dirt stained top and gave her a card with my name and phone number on it.I told her to call me if she ever needed any thing....I now had her on the other line with her telling me that she wanted to die....When I asked her to please tell me why .... she told me that she had been sent back to live with her parents about two years ago and she explained that she gets a bad spanking each and very day.....even  if she has done no wrong.She told me that the other day she tried to run away from her dad but he caught her and knocked her down and then started kicking herI contiuned to talk to her and at the same time was trying to get assistance and have 911 dispatch some one to her homeI noticed that her voice was starting to drag and become slurred.....it was becoming hard to keep her attention....I  asked her what was going on and she had told me that before she called me she had taken her all of her mothers sleeping pills.I hammered on my other phone... Screaming to the 911 operators what the child had done and what I was hearing...THIS IS AN 8 YEAR OLD THAT NO LONGER WANTS TO LIVE........8 YEARS OLD .THIS 8 YEAR OLD HAS GIVEN UP...........THIS 8 YEAR OLD HAS QUIT..............I could not really believe that this was happening.....This little 8 year old was loosing.........I was loosing this battle to keep her alive...... And we lost........................EMS finally arrived at her home and found her locked in her dirty, bug infested nasty room hanging onto to a thread of life...by the time she had arrive to the hospital she had passed.....END OF STORYWhat had went wrong?  Where did society let this child down..........I had never become so close to some thing so much as I did this in my life.If you are the SCUM of the earth like this childs family and wants to discipline your children by beating them .....email me and let me know........Come on!!!!.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.. I want to become very close to you......You will beat a helpless child that cannot protect them self....I have something you can beat on.....I will even agree to come to meet you....For those of you that consider physical abuse as proper punishment for something that a child has done wrong please come to me....Contact me....What are u afraid of??????????? I have something for you.....let me give you what you have given your child....Hit for Hit.!!!!!!!!!!..I would be happy to do so....Lets see if it helps you...be a better person or changes your stupid ass! Children dont let any one abuse you.....physical abuse, mental abuse, sexual abuse or any type of physical punichment is totally unacceptable!!!!!! It is not allowed...its against the law!!!!  so if it happens to you let some one know....Call the police....email me....You dont have to live that way...there is a better way...anything is better than death....dont you agree? ...You dont have to live in fear..You dont have to live with mental or physical scars......All children should be loved and cared for they should never live in fear of any one. They should be protected by those parents

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We walk down the hall leaving workTalking about the evening we just hadI ask what are u doing the rest of the eveningYou tell me that you need to do your hair and take a long shower and go to bedI ask if you want to go for a rideYou hesitate then reply Why notWe climb on the motorcycle and it roars to lifeWe jet off down the streetInto the darkness of the nightThe warm air and wind blowing through our hairThere is a full moon out that is so beautifulWe head towards the beachWe hear it calling us....calling us.....calling us....... We taste the salt in the air as we become nearYou wrap your arms around me and fondle the buttons on my shirt Releasing them one by oneMy heart starts to race as your hands move futher down my stomachUnhooking my belt and unbuttoning my jeansCauses me to giggle and let out a screamWe finally get to the beach and park on the beach access.We run into the night taking our clothes off You jump into my arms and we run in to the surfA high wave coming in hits us and causes us to gasp for air and stumbleI catch you as you begin to fall I lift you in to my arms and wade into the ocean I stand staring at the moon as it glows off your beautiful bodyI turn you around to face me and you wrap your legs around my waisteI tilt you backwards and dip your head into the water I run my fingers through your hair I kiss youStarting at your neck and working my way down.Here we are alone in the middle of the night out in the ocean making loveFull moon over head.. stars.. just hanging around and planets shine at a distance.The only sound is the waves crashing onto the beach....This beach and this time of the night has become our place...our place to have fun....our place to love.....