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I'm healing but please wait.

I dont mean to push you away in any form. It will just take me time to get used to these new changes. When i first met you in the city that night my heart skipped a beat my knews went weak. As i walked towards you i was lost for words. I do admit that after i got to know you i did get shall i say scared i did run to my mum and cried my eyes out to her for what reason i really dont know. I did wish i never met you that day but she explainned why i felt that way. I was just scared i guess, when i felt those strong feelings towards you i just wanted to run away and wipe them clean, i couldnt bare to let myself love again and i thought i didnt deserve to be loved back.
I didnt want to let my guard down, i didnt want to give you the key to my heart because that would be allowing you to stomp all over my heart like the others. Although you didnt seem the type of guy to do that but i was still unsure i had heard everything from the book before.
My mum explainned to me that i wasnt used to being loved by someone so truly before, i had know idea how it would feel to be cared for and loved like i was a princess. I had been treated very bad in other hand.
You made me feel so happy when we hung out and i allowed myself for awhile be actually be happy but suddenly i would realise i was actually letting my guard down and when i realised that i put it straight back up and run as far away as i could.
The only thing that was wrong with that was i didnt run as far away as i wanted to, something wasnt allowing me to let you go, you just have to understand that it will take time to let my walls down and allow you into the fragile path to my heart.  Trust me within time you will see the real me and you will be given the directions to my heart just hang in there and it will happen that i promise.

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