Eyes Sewn Shut
Tape her mouth shut, make sure you take every precaution don't let the covenant know about your sinful decision. Eyes sewn shut with the alcohol you poured down her throat. Passed out and left without hope. Take your position ready set go, Hovering over like a nightmare Shadows in dreams. Overpowered, she gave in, to something she can never have back again. Passing by the room bad memories bombard the mind and she'll take an oath never to report the incidents and reminders she chooses to abort. She didn't want to be here again, She doesn't want to see your face. Embezzlement of something held venerate I can't believe, God allowed let you rape.
This sounds very tragic if a true story. As troubling as it was I was lingering on the last line about how God can allow something like this to happen. It might rattle someones belief in God. But I know, I've read many times that God give us free-will to err. We are not prisoners to faith in God...we can wander away and choose to turn from him. But God is there....you don't realize until you see or feel it first-hand. For one....he spared your life. The criminal sinned....you didn't do anything....why should you suffer. Well that was just your fate. You do not know your future or the rest of your life. This very tragic incident may cause a turn in your life....for example...Being exposed to something evil you may be better able to recognize good. You may be able to help many others. And in the end you may find a very rich and beautiful life. Faith in God is often tested but you'll find that God does not abandon and as your faith increases you'll see him in every little thing. Anyway, its a very tragic and sad poem.
I am trying to, but my faith in God is almost nothing now. I went to a Christian University and had to withdraw. My struggles with God have never been this bad. I still am not able to understand and I know it is not my place to understand how a good standing christian person like myself who goes to church preaches majoring in Youth Ministry, allow this to kill me. God has betrayed me and it will take a long time for me to regain trust again.
No, God didn't betray. Remember Jesus on the cross saying "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?"....even Jesus himself felt the tragedy of human suffering and felt abandoned. God does not abandon us....it is only us who lose faith in God. Don't let the act of someone evil make you lose your faith. You'll find you can lose almost everything in life. If you have only your love and your faith....you have something. That you survived means that God has some good intent for you. Anyway....very sad about what happened. Usually God shows himself to you in some unmistakeable ways....keep your heart open and you'll soon see some. Often, moments of grace follow sadness or suffering.
I don't understand where it all went so wrong or why we struggle with God but I do understand that it can lead to a feeling of separation in which a person is capable of all kinds of sinful behaviour in their very own struggle. Faith is the one thing that keeps us going when we witness or are the victim of these things or when we need forgiveness for wrongs turns we may make in our own lives. Faith is our testament of love and trust that no matter how bad it may all seem God has led us to it and only God can get us through it. You gotta have faith even if at times you don't want to believe it. Just Believe. Be Alive to the fullest extent and let nothing or no one take that away from you. God Bless.