alone
the only one who knows who I am, who im not, who I wanna bewill never again sit beside meI feel so alone everywhere I goI cant talk about anything to anyone I knowwhy does everything have to turn out wrongwhy can I no longer be independently strongim sick of people treating me like dirt, and thinking nothing more of methey don’t know how it makes me feel, they don’t see what I seetake a second look at yourself and the people around youand ask yourself if for one day you could do what I doto wake up every morning thinking of a way to hidehide from those closest tome not wanting them by my sidethat lonely feeling, finally taking tollleaving in my chest, a permanent holesinking back into depression over and over againalways changing, from to friendnever knowing what it feels like to have a homebut forever knowing what it means to be alone
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This is a very brave expression of lonliness. You wrote it just the way it feels. Lonliness could be in a crowded room...if you feel alone inside. I know just how you feel because this is my life too, except for some online friends. You can even be married but if two drift apart and feel unwelcomed, misunderstood, unloved.....the same feeling can set in. Every day becomes a lonely rainy day. What you said about friends is true also....you care very much but feel let down and the truth is you're really alone inside amost all the time. To keep from feeling totally heartbroken and invisible, the only thing I can say is to treat others with even more care, respect and kindness and some will come back to you. You will experience hurt when you try harder but you will also feel more moments of sharing and grace. Eventually, hopefully, you'll find one who wishes for nothing but to be by your side who loves you. Thank you for sharing your difficult feelings and know that you are not alone in them. Some days are so hard you wish you could just give up....but don't. Sometimes we learn our greatest lessons through our own personal struggle with lonliness and sadness.