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please dont jugde me no one knows this so please just read and tell me

Sometimes I can still smell him on me, I can feel him breathing on me. He is in my nightmares, sometimes I feel like he is watching me but he isnt. I want the memories to fade away like my scars. Part of me wonders how I could have someone like Daniel I'm DAMAGED goods. I was broken before the rape. I think what Fucked me up was I was molested my a girl (yes a girl). Every summer I went to my grandmas house NO ONE KNEW OR EVEN KNOWS!! Shit I blocked it out for a long time then the rape happened and it was like everthing hit me all at once. I dont know how to deal with it, I kinda felt weird and gross, I thought back then it was normal, So from then on until I was about 11 or 12yrs I thought it ment I was gay! And I have kissed other girls when i was younger. Now that I look back I regret everything I wish I could take everything back and i wish i would of said something sooner. No one knows how much i hate my self for the things that happened. I hope one day I can forgive my self.





And I have nothing against homosexual people, I just know that I am not a Homosexual but to me i just thought it was kinda weird to be touched like that by a girl.. I hope you all know i have nothing against them! they are just like me and you!!

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