the only one who knows who I am, who im not, who I wanna be will never again sit beside me I feel so alone everywhere I go I cant talk about anything to anyone I know why does everything have to turn out wrong why can I no longer be independently strong im sick of people treating me like dirt, and thinking nothing more of me they don’t know how it makes me feel, they don’t see what I see take a second look at yourself and the people around you and ask yourself if for one day you could do what I do to wake up every morning thinking of a way to hide hide from those closest tome not wanting them by my side that lonely feeling, finally taking toll leaving in my chest, a permanent hole sinking back into depression over and over again always changing, from to friend never knowing what it feels like to have a home but forever knowing what it means to be alone
This is a very brave expression of lonliness. You wrote it just the way it feels.
Lonliness could be in a crowded room...if you feel alone inside. I know just how you feel because this is my life too, except for some online friends. You can even be married but if two drift apart and feel unwelcomed, misunderstood, unloved.....the same feeling can set in. Every day becomes a lonely rainy day. What you said about friends is true also....you care very much but feel let down and the truth is you're really alone inside amost all the time. To keep from feeling totally heartbroken and invisible, the only thing I can say is to treat others with even more care, respect and kindness and some will come back to you. You will experience hurt when you try harder but you will also feel more moments of sharing and grace. Eventually, hopefully, you'll find one who wishes for nothing but to be by your side who loves you. Thank you for sharing your difficult feelings and know that you are not alone in them. Some days are so hard you wish you could just give up....but don't. Sometimes we learn our greatest lessons through our own personal struggle with lonliness and sadness.