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my parents want me to choose between them and my boyfriend

ive been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 months now. Im head over heals in love with him and i know deep in my heart hes the one. Our realationship is so diffrent from ones weve have before. Theres just somthing diffrent about it. Well this past weekend my mom met my boyfriend for the first time because he came to visit me while i was staying with her. Well he made some mistakes and was a bit rude and treated my moms house like a pig pen. i know he didnt mean to but he lives in a trailer with his brother his brothers girlfriends and his father and his fathers girlfriend and there lifestyle isnt the greatest. && my mom thought he was fried from drugs because he has a hard time speaking.......well my boyfriend recently comfronted me about why he talks the way he talks and its because when he was younger his mother was killed by 2 men and he barley spoke for three years. i knew his mother had been killed but i did not know that is had anything to do with his speech. After my boyfriend left my mom called him all these awful names and told me i could do better and brought up how he talks and i wanted to tell her why he talks the way he does but i dont think it would have phased her. She called my dad and they have both aggreed that i am never aloud to see him. & that if i do they will complelty cut me off from them. i felt it wasnt fair to make me choose between the one i love and my family. because i love my family and i want them there through everything.....but then i think about my boyfriend and he has his heart set on being with me for the rest of our lives. i dont know what to do........i dont want to choose between them. Ill be 18 soon and then what they say wont matter.......but i dont want them to just drop me and stop speaking to me because i love them. please help cause this is really taking a toll on me emotionaly.
Cry

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Comments (7)
    • yes its really hard. and everyday it just gets tougher and tougher. ive always been bad when it comes to making choices. i love my family so much but latley every decision i make they think is horrible and they think that all i care for is myself. and thats not true at all. I love my family but i also love my boyfriend. i wish they could just understand that he makes me happy. i tried doing the whole compromise thing but my mom just said that hes trash and they he will never go anywhere in life. truth of it is though he works his ass off everyday. But when i try and talk to my parents it just turns into one big argument and they say that their minds are set. and it just hurts....but i really appreciate you taking the time to give me your advice. ive never done this blogging thing before but it seems to be making me feel a bit more at ease to hear others opinions. thankyou roselia <3
      • Parents may seem cross but that is their shock. The things they are saying are a reflection of their deepest fears for you. Parents may seem stern but underneath is love. Parents may seen uncaring but the opposite is true. They have loved you since you were a baby and would never steer your wrong. They've lived through life's hard lessons and see things more clearly than you. You speak of sympathy for your boyfriend and sympathy is not love. What you call "love" is likely sympathy mixed with lust and hormones and dreams...but this dream you seek can never have a happy ending. You cannot sacrifice your parents and expect to be happy. No man too can say he loves you and ask you to disregard your parents...that would be manipulation rather than love...and it will lead all to sadness. Whatever you do, however you break their hearts...your parents will always love you. I know all sides of what you're going through and you must break things off with the boy. It will be sad. But you already know they are right in what they say....and if you can listen with your heart to what they are really saying....they love you so much they will do anything to steer you clear of trouble. If your boyfriend shows disrespect for your mother he will show you the same disrespect in time. And if you choose him and find later they were right...how will you mend their broken hearts or mend the fragile things broken that can never be mended? You've gotten yourself in a difficult situation....its part of growing up now to get yourself out of it. Good luck!
        • Although parents may come off as mean and unfair, they are still your parents. My advice to you would be to sit your parents down and explain to them about his problems. If that doesn't work, perhaps you could convince your boyfriend to apologize to your mother. And if THAT doesn't work, wait until your 18 and then your mother won't have a say in it.
          • Wow, i cannot believe what people are saying on here. I know I'm pretty young, but honestly, I feel that some of these people are giving you some horrible advice. If you're parents are really making you choose between them and who you really think you love, then they are just being greedy. Trust me, if you're heart knows you love him, then don't let him go so easily. In a few years you'll think of him, and you'll miss him. Parents always think they know the best for their child, but really know one can tell you what's best, only you can. So don't listen to two people who only raised you when you were a child, you raised yourself, you know who you are, don't let anyone influence that. Even what I am saying, don't do what I'm telling you now, just make sure you listen and understand and realize.
            • I cant believe what some of these people are saying about you choosing him over your family. I am going through the same situation. Except I am the family that told her sister to choose. I love my sister. However my sister has put my mom through so much dealing with this that my mother has now had a relapse in her depression. I will never fogive my sister for what she has done to the family. I am not being greedy. I am not being selfish. I am a mother, and every time my mother told me i was doing something wrong she was right. I am now married with children, and have a great life. Thanks to my mom. I dont see how loosing a family for one man is worth it. If this man was to truly love you would he not say lets try working this out, and let me earn the respect of your family first. I want to know if this has even been tried. How can you two truly have a happy ever after with out the love of your parents, and family. My sister walked out on our whole family. The only person she has left is him. Is that a happy life. We loved her, but all agree he is no good. He told her to run away with him, and not worry what our family thinks. Is that a true man. Is that real love. Or just someone who wants it his way. I am telling you this, because my sisters birthday passed no one called her, christmas is coming and no one is thinking of buying her anything. Or even calling her. Do you really want to go through life with out them. When people say they will no longer be behind you they really mean it. We did. One said it will be worth it in the end, because they will be mad at first. Yet its been a year, and we still dont talk to her, and could not tell you how she is doing. Is it worth it. Dont take wrong advice they dont know. People do not get over it. If anything this has pushed us all away. I mean we had one sister who agreed with her at first. Then she seen with her own eyes what there life had become, and she no longer wants anything to do with her either. What has she lost, and when they get married we wont be there, when she has kids we wont be there..What was it worth ?? Dont get me wrong we love her, but will not stand beside the life she has chosen.. How can anyone give you advice to give up your family until they have done it themself. Let them go a year with out family then take there advice. I mean I would hate to loose my family, and one of them die, and I never got to say goodbye or I am sorry. I feel like my sister said goodbye to me, when she left. Good luck. I wish you the best !!
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