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i had this huge crush with my friend for 4 years. nobody knows except for my best friend. and for 2 years now, i was in a lot of pain dealing with my feelings. you see, i already admitted to myself that i fell for him. when i heard the story that he love a certain girl, which turned out to be a common friend and a little bit close to me, my heart just broke into two. never in my entire life that i felt that kind of pain. i was trying hard not to cry that time but the friggin pain just cant be ignored. since that time, i told myself that i just have to tell him what i feel and i wouldnt care if he doesnt feel the same. i must open up my feelings so as not to be choked with it. but it took me a long time to do it. then he got himself a girlfriend, which by the way, didnt make me hurt that much as to his feelings with my friend. well anyways, by the time i told him, they're together for months already. the saddest part was he LIKES me! but he got a girl. we traveled down our memory lane, excluding the part of other people, which took us hours! it was the greatest night ever! i never would have imagined things to turn out that way. i was so sure that by the time i get myself to tell him everything, my heart and mind would be at peace and i would be able to accept the fact that we could never be together. but fate played with me. that night made me think again and worst of all, it made me HOPE. darn it! we even text each other after that, with a little bit of sweetness that never once been there before that night. for two months, i was in a daze. i was a fool. now, after 4 months i think, it finally came over me that he's not gonna leave his gf and come running to me. i guess, that what he feels for me is just not enough to consider me as his girlfriend or to make him shift to me. i didn't fight for him anyways. all i had were these feelings and that stupid hope. i already poured cold water to my burning emotions and i'd say im over him and im tired of hoping already. i felt sorry for the guy i had for a month while i was having these feelings for my long time crush. this might be reason why i cant be in a healthy relationship. KARMA.


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