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So people say that they want to be like me but they don't really know whats behind it all.How much work it is to be me..

This is not a true story, Comment or like if you think i should finish writing this this story.

Jessica stood with her hand on the doorknob praying
that Katie was in there. This was the only room Jessica hadn't checked.
She hoped that Katie did not leave the party because Katie was the only
person Jessica knew there. Jessica opened the door ready to settle this
argument, but before she could find the light switch, she felt a hand
grab her. "Stop" she said, but then the hand covered her mouth and the
boy whispered "Shh, it's just me." She swore she knew the voice but she
could not figure out who it was. She tried to pull away but he grabbed
her by the waist and pulled her back.

She started breathing deeper as he pulled her close to him.
Her back to his chest. He locked an elbow around her neck and lifted
her off the ground. She tried kicking but it was no use. He covered
her mouth with the arm the arm that was locked around her neck,
so that she could not make any noise. His fingers were cold as he
pushed aside her underwear going deeper. She was squirming,
still trying to get away. It didn't help. She began to hear, as his fingers
were now inside her. She started trying to kick him. When she did kick
him, he pushed her forward and she fell.

Like lightning, it impossible how fast he could move but
before she  had the chance to get up, he was on top of her. Unbuttoning
her jeans. The would floor was cold on her back and as she tried to
push him away he put one hand on her chest to hold her down. The strong
smell of his colon began to fill her nostrils as he began pulling down
her jeans with his free hand. She tried to push him off but like before
nothing she did worked. He felt so heavy pushing against her, pushing
one of her legs up.

This was really happening she thought, and then Jessica
sat up taking a deep breath, there were tears rolling down her face.
She had been having this dream ever since it really happened all those
months ago. She had never told anybody. Not even Katie, who was her
best friend at the time. Jessica and Katie did not talk much anymore.
She did not call Katie to settle the argument that they were having at
the time. That argument seemed little compared to what happened to
Jessica just after it. To Katie this argument was important and the
fact that Jessica did not try to talk it over made Katie think that
Jessica did not really care.

She avoided most of her friends after that night. She
did not want to have to explain why she so suddenly wasn't into guys or
parties anymore. She had found out who had caused all this pain but she
was embarrassed by what happened. So she chose not to tell her dad or
report it to the police. Her parents could tell that there was
something wrong with her. She no longer hung out with friends or
socialized with any guys. She kept to herself about everything and
spent most of her free time in her room. The usual dinner at her
mother's house every sunday had not happened in a very long time. So
her parents just got used to the changes.

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I dont know what i did wrong.
I dont know what i ever do wrong.
Maybe I didn't do anything wrong.
Maybe I am the wrong.

I had this feeling from the start.
I mean what could you see in me.
Im kind of a bitch and I'll,
Never be a beauty queen.

Why i put myself down.
The answer i will say,
Its the way People make me feel down.
Kind of likee you did today.

You were there for me
Thought id be the only one for you
We had some problems
That i was hoping we'd get through

Now i often look back
To when i was your girl
Now im not even your friend
But your still my world

Im your nothing
And your my all
Oh why did i havee to
Be the one to fall.

Standing here,Staring out where there's no end
its so damn open in the world, yet i-i feel so closed in
Just stuck in this box, with no room to explore
As if i have to be who they say,just that and nothing more.

Trying to be me for just a moment
But everywhere i turn somebody's there
Watching,Waiting for me to mess up
One wrong move and for me they wont care

I know which move i should make
Instead i make a different one
One spots this mistake,and tells the rest
And now im really done

The box collapses
But instead of setting me free
It adds more pressure
By collapsing on me

My head slips under the water
And you cant here my cry
So i drift away slowly
Stop your lies or say Goodbye.

Everytime i see you
You always say hi
Stop the lies, cut the crap
I know you mean Goodbye.

Why are you the one
Who's starting to cry?
When all of your lies
Are making me say goodbye.

"Any last words?"
He got a sharp pain in his chest as he thought about this question
He looked back at his twisted life..He thought about the many foster homes he went in and out of..
A wave of happiness came over him as he remembered how he felt when he first saw his dad..
That happiness was soon lost in anger and sorrow.. The excuses he used to tell his teachers,
When they saw the bruises,Played over in his head like a played out song..He shook his head
trying to get the thoughts out of his head..The next thing that popped into his head was a picture
of her.. He was in love with this one girl.. They were together for two years and she said she loved him to..
Then one day she just up and left.. Never said why..Never even said goodbye..He found out from her
best friend.This is when the slitting of the wrists came..

Suddenly he felt a tap on his shoulder.. "Well,Any last words?" said the person who interuppted his thoughts..
He wanted more than anything to beg for mercy.But when he tried only three words came out..They were
Pull the trigger...

, ,

So i dnt really kno what to say to yew anymore..
i mean i love yew nd i kno yew dnt believe me but itsz true..
So yew moved nd idk how yew feel about me so im nervous about telling yew..

I dnt wanna live without yew nd while yew were here yea i pushed my feelingsz to the side..
But now that yewr gone itsz lyke i miss yew so much...
Really im tired of arguing evrytyme we talk.. if we have to be a way from eachother cnt we jusz get along..Babe i dnt lyke being away from yew for so long yet alone not talking 2 yew...
I really wanna kno if yew really do care cusz it doesnt seem lyke it yew alwaysz say babii i love yew
but yew nevr prove it 2 me.. I cnt keep doing thisz...

, ,

Can you feel the tears roll down her cheek
Can you hear her heart breaking when you leave
Can you see the pain in her eyes when you look at her
I bet you dnt even notice

But now...just now
She cnt hear the tears roll down her cheek
Or see her heart breaking when you leave
Or feel the pain in her eyes when you look at her

But she knows...She can tell
The tears are coming
Her heart is breaking
And the pains taking ovr her...

, ,

The cool air touching my skin
The snow on the ground
Walking outside and
Theresz emptiness all around
Feeling lost and stuck
In a place so wide
On my face frozen
The tearsz that i cried
Why couldnt tyme freeze
So i can keep the moments i want
Till i go back inside
And they melt away
Lyke firesz burning
The pages of my story

, ,

The atmosphere is filled of love
But love to me is not enough
Picture of your beauty when you smile with grace
Its to good to be true cause this is a wonderful place
Heaven no, this onlii earth
No place in the universe to give birth
But there is a path to make it right
Lyke the instruction book on how to make a kite
Pursuit of happiness thats what it seems
But most of the tyme it was all a dream
Man i wish i never wake up
But i have to many people who love me
And that really sucks
'Cause once im gone theres no going back
Im just another cd on an overflowing rack

, ,

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