kiz

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OK I’ve never spoken like this before but... I'm in a bit of a mess... I have a boyfriend. I've been with him over 2 years...but the last few months I haven't been happy... I tried to end it with him twice; once, he got so upset. I didn't have the heart to carry on, the other time my mom actually stopped me because she said she thought of him as a son, and would be angry, disappointed etc in me if I ended it... ever since then she's been really mad at me whenever I try and tell my boyfriend I’m not happy. This alone is driving me mad. Most people can see I’m not happy and keep asking why I can't do anything... but it's so confusing... I don’t want to hurt him, but I haven't been happy for a long time... The second part is... I’m in love with someone else. And I know its love... I’ve loved him for over 7 months... he's one of my boyfriends' friends... we kind of clicked, but there's so much he doesn’t let anyone see, he's kind of... afraid to show feelings... but we get on, and he's let me see the other side of him now and again...the other times, we have such a good time together and I’ve heard he feels for me too - but I’m not sure... I tried to tell him once and it just went wrong - besides, I’m still technically with my boyfriend... I don't know what to do-I thought about ending it with my boyfriend then running away so my mom wouldn't be able to be mad at me…but it seems a bit drastic. Any ideas? Thanks
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Love. Tender on the tongue, So heavy on the heart. ...Love. Beauty rains down, unpredictable showers Drenching, soaking us through to the bone And so our hearts have tendencies to cower From the cold, damp, fear of being alone But power is oh so seducing, eyelashes in rain We can only stand and stare Such a shame, this dosen't have a face But if it did, I'm sure it would be yours. Because thats what you are to me You're everything that I can't see Yet you fall down from the sky And I can't deny you, I won't try In your eyes I see the sun, the moon, the stars You complete me, as I see what could be ours In your eyes I see everything I want to be But will never be... because you don't love me And it's something I cannot change With all the power in the world I cannot rule your heart I've tried and tried so hard again, I've wished and prayed but I just tore myself apart Love - I convicned myself I'd never feel Love - I never really saw the appeal Running, hiding, like laughing lovers In a storm, underneath a tabloid, but lost Within their own world, there are no others Their souls complete, their hearts starcrossed Love. Gracious in its nature, Snarling in consequence ...Love. The time when I denied it Seems so far away Because when I saw you Everything changed I love you now, I loved you then But, oh, these trivial matters Don't mean a thing to you I'm still standing in the cold, I thought the sun would shine Once admitted, and truth was told Whatever I say you will never be mine I can stand, statue still, soaked In the rain of a thousand tears, Probably mine, despite the times I choked All of them back, for what seems like years This is what you are to me A thousand words wrapped In the disguise of a plea I cannot make you love me, so I'll be forever trapped Locked outside, coldest winds and harsh rain Nothing comapred to the love of pain And pain of love, especially your own But not forgetting the fear of being alone Love. An eternal creation Beautiful imitation Love... The cliched image of a summers day Could possibly match what we try to say ...And that is, everything. Nature, beating hearts Revolving, resolving Love. Love. Tender on my tongue Eyelashes in rain ...Love.
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I love you I'm just going to say everything I feel. Everything I've wanted to say and everything I dreamt about saying. I doubt you'll ever see this, but even so... I love you. I love everything about you. Everything. Completely.I can't stress that enough; that I am in love with you, utterly hopelessly in love. I love being in love with you. I love it. Honestly. Truly. You're perfect. The only thing I don't like in all of this is that you don't love me back... Because I think you're the love of my life. I don't know how I can ever get over you, or love anyone else as much. I don't know why I fell in love with you. I don't why I can't climb back out of it - sometimes I wanted to. But I realised I couldn't - and can't - live without you. I just want you to know, that I will always be there for you, if you ever need help, or want to talk. I'd be a fool to say I wouldn't come running at the opportunity. I will always love you. You will always be so special to me. You will always be the most amazing person I've ever met. And I'll regret not saying this to your face one day. I love you, Justin. Maybe you'll know how much I love you, one day.. Because.. I truly do, and will, love you - and everything about you, forever.
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