che57vy

  • 1476
hello... it's just me...

I am a friendly woman who has always treated others as I wish to be treated. I go out of my way to help others infact I enjoy doing so. I have been a parent my entire adult life and for the first time, I am now on my own. I find the adjustment extremely difficult to handle and so on days when I am overwhelmed or find my lonely, I come here to Lovelandia to put a few thoughts down. It really helps! (smiles) I hope everyone here is able to find yourself having more good days than bad... keep looking to the future! Good luck and have a nice day (smiles.)
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che57vy
 added a post 

My heart is breaking, it's full of pain
Feeling such guilt and full of shame
The bond with my children is slipping away,
I feel it more with each passing day...

I miss them more than you could know
But there're always so busy now, the space just grows...
No time to write, at least not to me you see,
No one calls, Did they forget about me?

I did the hardest thing in this world
And that was to move from my boys and girl,
Too much chaos, arguing and hate
Words if pain, always being thrown my way

So I did what I thought was best for them
I packed up my things, moved away and then
I had hoped to save my babies from
The constant bickering, again and again....

I did not want them only to think
Arguing daily was normal, 'cause that stinks
It's not a healthy way to be
Not for them and not for me....

Their Dad and I just couldn't agree
Not on anything, so it had to be
That one of us leave before it was too late,
I did not want my children to think life was full of hate...

I see them as often as I can
But it's never enough, Imiss them man!
Thev've been my reason living, and my whole world
Those beautiful children, 2 boys, 2 girls....

Although they're older, they will always be
My pride and joy... my 4 babies.
I hope and pray, thay will forever know
They're my heart and soul... I love them all so!

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che57vy
 added a post 

Every message that I receive
Is from another female it seems
I'd like to say that I'm not gay
So pleaseeeeeeeee don't bother me, go away!

I do not care what gender you choose
But do not write to me, for you will lose.
I come here only to write my thoughts
In peace and quiet, to ask is that allot?

Please respect my wishes you see,
As I am not interested in thee!
I am NOT gay and never will be
So please leave me alone, don't write to me!

Another woman is not what I seek
Into my heart you will never peek.
I wish you luck in your quest
Write to another please, to me you're being a pest!
                                 Yell

che57vy
 added a post 

Every message that I receive
Is from another female it seems
I'd like to say that I'm not gay
So pleaseeeeeeeee don't bother me, go away!




I do not care what gender you choose
But do not write to me, for you will lose.
I come here only to write my thoughts
In peace and quiet, to ask is that allot?




Please respect my wishes you see,
As I am not interested in thee!
I am NOT gay and never will be
So please leave me alone, don't write to me!




Another woman is not what I seek
Into my heart you will never peek.
I wish you luck in your quest
Write to another please, to me you're being a pest!
                                 Yell

che57vy
 added a post 

Every message that I receive
Is from another female it seems
I'd like to say that I'm not gay
So pleaseeeeeeeee don't bother me, go away!

I do not care what gender you choose
But do not write to me, for you will lose.
I come here only to write my thoughts
In peace and quiet, to ask is that allot?

Please respect my wishes you see,
As I am not interested in thee!
I am NOT gay and never will be
So please leave me alone, don't write to me!

Another woman is not what I seek
Into my heart you will never peek.
I wish you luck in your quest
Write to another please, to me you're being a pest!

che57vy
 added a post 

                      Cry

Missing the puppy that I have now lost
Such pain is the price to me that it cost.
Loving and faithful, was my Little girl,
Missing her deeply, my heads in a whirl.

She was just looking for someone with whom to play.
When she went for a romp by herself that day
,Along came the warden, scooping her up
The fines were too high, now she has a new family to love.

If only the money was something I had
Perhaps I could have just... gotten her back!
Missing her deeply, my little Imperial Shih-tzu
I know in my heart, that she misses me too...

It's such a long story, why I was not there
To keep my girl safe, as I do so much care...
My daughter was busy, I know she feels bad
When Trinket went roaming, then in the pound she sat.

Nobody told me until it was too late
A new family paid for the fees that day.
Gone is my puppy, such pain in my heart
If there was only a way, but I didn't know where to start!

It's probably too late, as a month has now passed
If I had that money, I would get over there fast!
I think it was wrong of my family to say
Just find her a new home they told the pound, that day.

All for the price of three hundred dollars
I lost a part of my soul, now all I have is her collar.
I'll never have another like Trinket again
They cost too much money, but she was my.... friend!

I pray that she's happy, in her brand new home
As they had the money, so they paid the pound.
Anyone would love her, right from the start,
It takes only a moment, and she's forever in your heart.

All of my wishes I'm sending her way
All of her kisses are now theirs each day
Please help me cope with this broken heart
It may silly but in my life she was such a big part...

I was just going to get her, to come live with me,
My family lives there, yet I live over here you see...
Now I'm really alone in my little cave
I'm just so damn lonely now, every single day...
                     Cry Cry

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che57vy
 added a post 
So many poems are written each day
My heart feels the pain in all people say,
Reading the sadness that pours out of hearts
Gives a feeling of togetherness, right from the start.

Look around you and read some of others' remarks
And soon you will realize whats in another ones heart
Feelings and thoughts, emotions so clear...
Gives me a feeling that I too...  do fear.

Lonliness spreads through my soul and my spirit
Yet one grand day, perhaps I won't feel so near to it.
Hope is the answer for me, I shall say
Now if only I can believe it, for this I will pray.

,

che57vy
 added a post 

Tears and sadness go hand in hand
As soon as they start, it's usually about a man
This for me continues to be a struggle,
The few that I have cared about, live inside a bubble.

Never really knowing where I go wrong
I cannot seem to pick one that's free or belongs.
Always looking inward, as if that might help
Yet inside there is an empty place, it's me alone, myself.

Time is marching forward, forever looms ahead
I just lost my elderly friend Betty, I can't beleive she's dead.
It happened Christmas Eve, I really don't know why,
But through the Holiday's I made it, though all I did was cry.

It's not like I have a future, each day is just the same,
I wake up feeling lonely, then go to bed again.
Another day tomorrow, maybe it will change?
I know that if it did, it would be wonderfully strange.

I guess I'll just go to sleep now, my dreams are full of hope.
It's there I smile abeit sadly, it's there that I can cope.
The tears are now beginning, again I think of him
If only I knew what he looked like, maybe then I could see his grin.

, ,

che57vy
 added a post 

Help me find my strength within
Where do I look, where to begin..?
I'm feeling weak and lost it's true
Longing for one man, he's too good to be true...

 

I find I'm so lonely that I overlook
Yet there are things that I need, to get hooked...
Lately I seem willing to accept so much less
Where is my strength, I can't even guess.

 

It's sad to me, that I have lost my self esteem
To tell me you like me... is that all I need??
For so many years I've let my life drift right by,
But there are values I need, that I want to find...

 

I actually just need an honest man
One who wants open communication.
This is important to me, as this brings trust
Talking about everything... to me is a must!

 

No more men filled with such lies
I can't keep up, I don't want to try.
What's so bad or hard, about honesty..?
I'm honest with you, be honest with me!

 

Respect is earned from allot of things...
It's too is important, since trust it brings.
There you have it, most all my requests
If you agree with me, then you've passed my test.

 

Please help me understand just why it's so
That the ones I meet, appear not to know...
Honesty, respect, communication and trust
Without these things you have no chance for love, just lust.

 

I shouldn't even bother to search for some love
I probably wouldn't know it, if I was hit with it's glove!
I need to try harder to stick to my goals!
Without some values, my soul is just sold...

 

My spirit feels empty, no will to trudge on
Everywhere I look, it's the same 'ole song...
Never once has one loved me, or even been kind
Not for more than a week or two... this,  I find.

 

Time is fast moving, suddenly I'm old
My heart is shriveling, it's lonely and cold...
Where is the joy that I know I should feel
For being alive!  For me it's no big deal.

 

Please just help me, find the courage to seek...
The one single man who into my soul, will just peek!
I've goodness and truth, I'm steadfast and true
Please help me accept my lot, and be happy, not blue... 

 

I'd like to be happy, even though I'm alone
I'd like to feel content in my little home.
Maybe I could function better if I could let go
Of the desire to be loved, and just accept being alone.

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che57vy
 added a post 

Hey I need you Mister
I want to tell you why
There never seems to be a man
Who to me does not lie

I look the type of woman
Who'll always lend and ear
But listen up here, Mister
My wrath you'll learn to fear!

Let's start at the beginning
And this time you must say
Only truth and honest things
Or with you I'll not play.

I started to trust you Mister
But something held me at bay
Relief has flooded through my bones
Knowing what I now know today.

I'll take a chance and be your friend
But listen up Mister man
You'd do well to speak the truth
If you but think you can....?

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che57vy
 added a post 

Once I think I've made it past
Some sorrow for awhile
I start to feel on my lips, a smile
Yet in the end it's just a mask.

Hiding pain and sadness becomes so very hard
I just need to keep on breathing
No thoughts about simply leaving
Get up each day, and try to keep up my guard.

I'm not the type to play along
If no interest I do feel
My feelings true or I'm off keel
In my heart there must be a song...

So here I am again and again
Just lost and wondering why
I can't meet the type of guy
That would also like to be my friend.
                 Undecided

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che57vy
 added a post 
Pain brings sorrow from deep within my soul
Hoping that tomorrow will closer bring my goal
Knowing that no matter how I live my life each day
No Peace just noise and clatter, discord has become my way.

,

che57vy
 added a post 
Mark a million, where are you?
You didn't mention, what you're up to! 
Neither did you tell me, if better you feel-
You left me hanging alone, for real!

Tuesday night, you said to me
On Saturday evening we'd go out Weeeeeee!
But then last night you felt so weak
And today, you neglected to even speak!

About the plans for Saturday night,
It's clear your plans, keep me out of your sight!
And so into the shower I will now go
I won't even attempt to meet you, cause you'll say NO!

I don't really know why we bother to make plans
Something always happens, they end up in the can!
I don't suppose that I should count
On our plans made, becuase my frustraton mounts!

I worked so very hard, these past two days,
Now is the time that I want to PLAY!
So into the shower I'm going right now
And then my wild oats, I will sow, (lolol)

Perhaps a drink or maybe three
Will help to clear my thoughts of thee,
A buzz could really help tonight
You probably already, have one in sight!

I miss my friend, my long haired man
I'd like to see him, if i can....
But since you are not here to say...
I guess I'll just be alone again, today.

Into the shower it's after eight,
I'd best get moving, it's gettng late!
Last Tuesday night, you said to me,
That Saturday night... together we'd be....

Yet, when I looked to see what you had planned...
There was nothing there, not to do with me, man!
So this must mean I'm all alone
To find something fun... or to just stay home.

I'll come back to the computer, before I go
To see if you left me a message so...
I will know just what you feel
And if with you, a moment I can steal!

I doubt your plans are including me
And to be honest, I don't like to drink.
It seems that when I do see you,
That is the only thing you want to do..?!

If you asked me what I'd like best,
I'd say let's just talk, and forget the rest!
We could go for a walk, or even a ride,
Not too many options, when we must hide...

I wish that the times we have to share
Could be more often, as for you I care,
But if the only time you'd agree,
Is after you're drinking... then I need to see...

I doubt that I, will honestly stay,
With you if you drink, most eveyday.
I've been in this place too many times,
I want someone sober, if he's to be mine.

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che57vy
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