Natalie

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My story isn't about who to chose, it's about how to let go and learn to love the guy I'm with completley. David has been my best friend for five years now,and for the last three of them I have been in love with him. The first two he was in love with me. Bad timing I guess, as soon as he got over it I fell for him. Dean is my boyfriend, we have been together for five months, six on the 20th. And this is my longest relationship, I always found reasons to break up with every other guy, but deep down I always knew it was just because I wanted to be single in case David ever changed his mind and wanted to date me again. Well Dean treats me like a goddess. (Apart from insane jealousy) I live at his house, his parents love me, his friends are my good friends now, and everything between us is perfect. Except one thing. David is still in my heart. We don't speak very often, two or three times a month, hardly ever see eachother. But when I do speak to him alot of my feeling come straight back, and it scares me because I'm worried that they will cause me to ruin things between Dean and I and I don't want that to happen. So please, if anyone has advice how to get over David, please help me. I really love Dean and want to commit with everything I have. Submitted by Natalie

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Submitted by Natalie Cox E-mail: chatty_natty9@hotmail.com Well here's the deal, I was dating Adam, broke up with him to date my close friend Jared, and everything was good. But then, recently i'vestarted flirting with other guys, aot of my friends like me so it's easy. I even meet new guys and don't tell them i have a boyfriend. I don't know what's wrong with me!Normaly when i really like a guy i focus on them and don't have all these other guys in my life. I think it might be because Jared has been really cranky lately over the stupidest things, and he doesn't ring me or message me as much as he used to, although he is still really sweet to me. Could i be trying to use these other guys to fill in the places Jared doesn't make me happy? I think people do that a lot, but don't realise it at the time. Well also i have a courier at work (where i am now) and we get along really well, he's 23, i'm 18. We hang out after work and sms eachother all the time. We know we like eachother a lot so i don't know what to do. At the moment i find myself wanting to talk to the courier (Tim) even more than my actual boyfriend. Should i be dating the courier? If anyone could give me advice please email me or add me to msn. Thanks.
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David... The day we met i loved you. We became best friends... I loved you. It's now been over two years, Through thick and thin we've been together.I've held you all the times other girls had been given then chance to break your beautiful heart. I loved you... It hurt me more than you ever knew. I would of always done anything to be with you.. Never would of hurt you. I hate this girls that don't realise how special you are, They throw away the love of the sweetest guy i've ever met. All i wanted.. and still want.. is a chance to show you how much you mean to me. Your smile makes me smile, your tears.. make me cry. I have so many flaws.. and push people away for the fear of getting hurt.. You i let in.. You.. i will always let in. My life is worth living because i believe one day we will be together, Until that day i will hold these feelings inside, You think i'm not in love with you anymore.. which is what you want.. This love isn't going anywhere. You are my only love, My only One. Submitted by Natalie Cox E-mail: chatty_natty9@hotmail.com

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A few who read this might notice that i am the same person who wrote about my other relationship with Beau. That's all well and truely in the past now and i'm now happy again. I dated a guy called Adam for a month after that, I really liked him, or told myself i did. But it didn't feel right, It felt as though we were merely friends pretending to be boyfriend/girlfriend. No passion in our kisses, I didn't even feel the desire to sleep with him. I did however feel this unbelievable feeling whenever i was around my best guy friend Jared. Jared liked me alot, he was going to ask me out the day after Adam did, i found this out later of course. Then when he found out i was dating Adam he was devestated (it sounds stuck up for me to say this but all my friends told me so i knew it was true.) Anyways i really liked Jared, but i thought Adam was more my type so i stayed with him. Plus Adam and i had history dating back to the start of last year, so i took that as a sign i should be with him and it would all work out to be what i wanted in a relationship now. I was wrong.. Adam didn't put much effort into the relationship at first and it upset me alot. Jared would ring me every night and we'd message eachother all the time. I didn't understand why a friend was making more effort to speak to me than my own boyfriend was. And Jared would come pick me up and we'd go for cruises for hours, do anything we wanted, and it was always so much fun. We just got along so well. Adam didn't make too much effort to see me. So in a way it felt to me as though Jared was more my boyfriend, even though he wasn't really. My friends kept telling me i should be with Jared, and i knew they were right. Here i had this guy who was perfect for me. He treated me like i was the only girl in the world. Like i was so beautiful and smart and i love him for it. Adam would pay me out if his friends were around, sometimes they even rang me and abused me just for entertainment and he didn't even stand up for me. Well last Sunday i finaly broke up with Adam. It took me a month of knowing he wasn't right for me before i finaly did it. But straight away i was so happy i had. Last night i asked out Jared and without any hesitation he said yes. We spoke then for the rest of the night on the phone and i'm seeing him tonight. Already it feels so right. What i want in a relationship now is the security of knowing your best friends with your partner as well as their girlfriend, to be able to talk to them about anything and be sure they won't judge you, but will understand and talk about it with you. Being able to hang out all the time and just have an awesome time, not necessarily doing anything, but just having fun because your together and that's all you both need. My longest relationship is three months, and for once i want a long term. I've always been the type of girl that finds stupid reasons to break up with a guy after a few weeks simply because i'm gettinb bored of them or i've found someone new i like. I don't want that anymore. It get's so lonely not to have someone there all the time. I really feel Jared could be the right person for me. (not saying forever.. but for now.. and a long time more.) If anyone reading this has any opinions on my story please email me. I'm a hopeless romantic and love talking about anything relating to relationships. Also please, anyone that comes onto this site, and reads these stories, please submit your own. The first thing i do when i get a free moment at work is come here and read the newest stories. I think it's wonderful. Thank you for reading mine. => Submitted by Natalie Cox E-mail: chatty_natty9@hotmail.com

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Hi again, I wrote the story called "Confused And In Love" a while back. This is a short follow up i suppose. The boy i loved, Beau. We never got back together, it's now been a month and a half. However he did constantly tell me he wanted things to go back to normal, and he loved me as much as never, couldn't stand the thought of losing me. I was so confused, because he knew all along that all i wanted was to be with him again, everything i did proved that. All he had to do was.. be with me, and everything would be fine again.However last thursday night he came to my friends with me. We were the only people there (my friend was at a staff dinner until 10pm) We were talking and i thought everything was finaly going to go back to the way it had been. And we ended up having sex (For the third time since we broke up). After it i realised something was wrong. I asked him if he was in love with someone else. Finaly i got out of him that he loved Rose (the girl from my first story who was my best friend) I was devestated. I got everything out of him after that. It was such an emotional night. He was hurting as much as i was. That made it even worse. He was crying so much, so i couldn't hate him. I wish i could, but i loved him so much still, even after all he did to me. You see it turns out he was cheating on me the whole time we were dating. He was sleeping with her before him and i even had. And the night we broke up he started dating her. The worst thing was that i was so suss on their friendship all along, and they made me feel so silly, saying they were only friends, and only ever would be. Well he'd been cheating on her and leading me on. And now i know, it's finished. I won't let him make me into some fool like he has been. I'm going to move on. I guess in a way it's a relief to know everything. I don't hate either of them, i love him, so i can understand why she does so i can't make myself blame her. and because i love him i can't hate him for it. I'm going to be friends with them both, At the moment all i want to do is show them i can be the bigger person and not act like a heartbroken fool. Rose was my best friend last year and i'm not going to lose that. And i want them to have a good relationship, and perhaps this way i can keep and eye on them and make sure they're good to eachother. They both mean alot to me. And on another note, an ex of mine, Adam, is back on the scene. I've had a soft spot for him since the day we broke up. I think i hurt him alot the first time so i have to be careful this time around, but since i last dated him i have grown up alot, back then i didn't know the value in a true relationship. Now i know it's all i want. And i believe he can give it to me, as long as i can continue being true to him and myself. Anyone who is interested in any of my story feel free to email me or add me to msn. My email address is below. I'm a total romantic sometimes and love to hear about anything sweet. Thanks for reading my story. Submitted by Natalie Cox E-mail: chatty_natty9@hotmail.com

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I don't know where to start this story.. there are so many little things i could easily write about, but i only have a little time to write and want to get out the important parts to my story. Before i do though, i want to say it is great that this site is so used, it's great to have a place to come and read about love and what other people have gone through, even though alot of the stories are really sad to hear about, it's good to know other people go through these feelings to and come out alright. My tale of love started last year, i was going out with a boy called Paul, looking bacl i don't know why i even liked him, i had always been out with good looking boys who adored me and treated me so well, but Paul was hardly even interested and not that great to look at, and was very much into making a statement and it anoyed the cr*p out of me. And Beau was going out with Paul's friend Megan who i became friends with. From the start i had a crush on Beau, he's a kinda.. hardcore type of guy, got the tattoo's and always drinking or smoking up, and i thought i would have no chance, especialy as Megan and he had been together for three years. Anyways after a while Paul and i broke up (my doing, i got fed up with being treated as though i wasn't there) and Beau and Megan broke up. Beau and i became close, talking on MSN all the time, always about cr*p but we had fun nonetheless. Then after a few months of this we decided to catch up again, i was over the moon but still thought i had no chance. This boy was cute! But anyways the day came and we met up, hung out, and then went our seperate ways. nothing sus, just a really fun day. And we decided to do it again, so a few days later we met up again and still nothing sus. But my crush had developed so much, there was alot more to Beau than i had thought at first. To be honest i thought he was pretty mean at first (but still damn hot) but yeah i was wrong, he was so nice and sweet, and funny! he was and is the funniest guy i've ever met. Well then i went home and got a message from him, his family were going away that weekend, did i want to go over? Of course i did! so we met up on the friday and went back to his place. At this time i thought he might have liked me a tiny bit but i had no idea still, I'm pretty clueless when it comes to things like that. I'm a friendly person so when guys are "friendly" to me i don't take any notice. Well i spose one could say he was "friendly" and in the end i knew he wanted to kiss me. It was really sweet, he was so shy about it, and that was one thing i completely did not expect!!! But yes.. we hooked up. And i was happy, very happy. And the next day i went home and was over the moon. Since the first day we hung out again, i haven't been able to get him off my mind, it's been almost four months now i'd say. And the last three of those we've been going out. It's my longest relationship.. well.. was... Last Saturday i was an idiot and broke up with him. I'm not exactly sure why, but i regret it so much. Well.. he has this friend, who i was best friends with in year 12, and they're very close (she's a girl) and i let my insecurities get the best of me. I trust him more than i've ever trusted anyone, he's the only person i've let get close to me in so long, and of course, i somehow found a way to ruin it all. I knew i'd manage that someday. I just wish more than anything i hadn't done it, hadn't rung him up that day and said it was over. We still speak, he knows i want him back, Now he's been thinking about if he want's to get back with me now, It's been the hardest week ever. Now it's thursday and i'm trying to be strong, i'm a big believer that if you tell yourself your miserable you will be, but also if you tell yourself your fine you will be. I've always believed that and always thought it worked, but this time it isn't.. I don't know what to do without him. I have a group of friends i hang out with, always the five of us, but their both couples and it makes me sit in constant thought about Beau, some of the best times ever i've had with him. And at the moment it's those great times that are hurting me the most. Isn't it strange how when you break up with someone, it's how happy they made you that makes you miserable, shouldn't that make you happy to know they loved you back and treated you so well..? Anyways today would of been our three months exactly, and he was going to see me after work. I was looking forward to it so much, i woke up earlier to i could make myself look better for him, have been all excited and at the same time miserable, For me tonight meant the world, I would of found out if he was going to give me another chance or just wanted to be my friend.. then i got a message.. he can't come tonight. "can we make it tomorow night? I'm sorry :(" ... Not as sorry as i am. My heart was just smashed. Tomorow after work i'm going to my friends to hang out with my usual group for the weekend, i asked him if he would come, he said maybe.. i'll take that as a no... But if he does come.. i think i'll be alright... I know he loves me and if just having this doubt because i've just shown to him that i can hurt him, but.. if i got another chance, now i know what it's like to lose him, i'll never do anything to come close to doing it again. Anyways Beau if you ever read this (knowing me i'll do something pathetic like tell you to come here and read it) know i love you! Submitted by Natalie E-mail: chatty_natty9@hotmail.com