Erika Gutierrez

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I am Erika. I love to write.
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Hold my hand to see If your destiny is me Hold me tight And only let me go If the answer to the following is no... DO YOU LOVE ME?
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A storm is stirring in my mind
My thoughts Myself
I cannot find
A mental block I cant get thru
This mental block
That I call you...
I hear a voice that mocks me
Not to long ago
In ur arms you rocked me
I lay by ur side
I felt ur protection
And all I feel now
Is total rejection...
This person that makes me feel
So worthless
So useless
Makes me feel like a fool
This person I never imagined
I cant believe it was you...
I turn to you for comfort
Thought I had ur support
But everything I say
You turn around and abort...
My words mean nothing at all
You just wanna see me fall
But I wont ask you for a helping hand
By myself now I can stand...
Now Im no longer angry
I'll no longer hold a grudge
Cause all you are to me
Is an insignificant smudge...
But know I still cant forgive you
For you havent apologized
For the damage you caused
You never held a word back
You never thought to pause
The frustration thats inside
Of all you were the cause...
So cold and heartless
The things you would say
And now you beg me
To come back home and stay?
The same you and I will never be
From ur evil ways
Im finally set free
I believe in myself
I cant go wrong
But if I do I thank you still
For making me so strong...
But just so you know
The tough love technique everytime that I fell
A smile and comfort
Would have worked better or just as well...
Fortunately now you cant bring me down
Theres a smile on my face no longer a frown,
Ill float to the top
I wont drown in my sorrow
My hopeful heart
Awaits on tomorrow...
No more waiting in the dark
All thats left is a small mark
Like bark on a tree
With time I will heal
I know once again
In my heart I will soon start to feel
Love once more...
My wounds now I finally seal
And open my heart, that once feel apart
To the one who will give me
A brand new start...

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It breaks my heart to set you free But I'd be stupid not to see We just weren't meant to be Maybe in a later time We can give our love a try... I gave you the best It wasn’t enough I'll put this all to rest I just need to get something’s off my chest... We can’t hold on because we don’t want to realize There’s more to life to you and I There’s just no more I'm willing to sacrifice And this is what I must decide... I tried to forgive you God only knows I try to forget Ur still in my soul.... I remember the good times It makes me cry I remember the bad times That made me not wanna try... For now I'm moving on with my life Taking in my experiences Good & bad My healing process can finally begin A new chapter in life That you won’t be in...
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Believe what you want
you know its not TRUE
you wanna cover up
All the Shit that YOU DO
Dont call to ACCUSE me
You're no one to speak
I wont let you ABUSE me
I'm wiser you SEE
My love for you is DEAD
Im not falling for all
the fuckin lines you once FED
I'm stronger each day
With the shit that you DO
Im not mad
I should be thanking YOU
It took me a while
But now I realize
Behind ur brown eyes
were nothing but lies
DECEPTION
BETRAYAL
I will soon PREVAIL
Free at last
With you not around
I know I cant FAIL
You got something to say?
Go ahead
I aint here to stay
Stop wasting my time
Its much to VALUABLE
You cant hurt me now, I'm UNSTOPABLE!
You mean nothing to me
You're lower than dirt
An empty SPACE
At least be man enough
to look me in the FACE...

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This is me The me I left behind The me I covered up w/ fake smile & lies The me that I pretended not to see As if I were blind...I couldn't rewind...Paused on the me I unselfishly placed outta sight & outta mind...& still the world was unkind... This is me Born then lost & finally found For months I tried to come back But I was nowhere around... This is me I'm no longer like the living dead Alive outside & inside dead I can't believe that was me, never again disreguard whatever I then said...that wasn't me... Never again will I allow myself to be, the me who felt so trapped & only dreaming of never being lonely...the me who only hopes of running free...that's not me...merely hopes & dreams...that's not me...now I see... This is me Recovered & redeemed Full of life inside & out I know what I want, who I am & what I'm all about... This is me and myself I'll never again doubt... This is me No substitutions, replacements or refunds The me for which the price of pain was paid for The me my family adores The me who'll never find herself standing outside of a closed door... THIS IS ME! And that's all I can gurantee... Love me or hate me THIS IS ME... Walk w/ me or against me THIS IS ME... Laugh w/ me or AT ME! I don't care lifes not fair...THIS IS ME! Fight w/ me or FIGHT ALONE... Live & die For my kids & I THIS IS ME! I am found... I'm myself I Do & undo only for me & NEVER again for ANYONE ELSE!
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I caught a glimpse of sorrow on my sons face And I quickly ran to comfort him with a reassuring embrace Not knowing why or what Just following my heart I knew my son was hurting & slowly falling apart... I can see Between every smile hides a tiny frown His suddel cry for help Right before he drowns... He smiles up at me As if thinking "She always understands" Holding on tightly with his tiny little hands He reached up for comfort, that & more he found Then I lay him beside me So safe & sound... He wakes up early, rising with the sun, but doesn't notice me close by & suddenly I saw the frustration hidin in those big brown eyes... He may look happy & untainted but for me he lies If only he knew everynight I hear his cries... I see the sorrow in my baby boys face His family has broken & he feels so out of place... His days of cheers are now replaced w/ lonely nights & tears...His family has broken & has brought to life his biggest fears... As he rests his little head to bed each night Looking out his window wishes on every star with all his might Hoping that will be the night the wishing stars will listen & his family will reunite... Holding back his tears, holding on to his pillow really tight...against himself day after day he bravely puts up a fight... Trying to be strong because he's affraid that he'll do something wrong & lose the only place he feels he belongs... So I ask him how he's doing He says "mami I'm doing fine" But his trembling soft voice he cannot hide For mami alaways knows when she hears a lie... As hard as my little man tries I can see right thru him How unhappy he's become & it breaks my heart to see him struggling within... God he's only six Help me, guide me, so his broken soul we can fix... I'll do anything beyond my reach just to see him smile unrehearsed again & hear him say he's happy for reals Without having to pretend... God bring back the life to my childs eyes... Love to his heart that has fallen apart... Bring him peace of mind... Shield him from sorrow Today & tomorrow & for the rest of his life... I want my little boy to live his days full of joy & welcome each day as if it were a brand new toy... I want his days filled with laughter, cheer & happy tears...His years to come full of wonderful memories so we can together reminis... Lord I pray... My son Michael may you keep His broken heart heal So true happiness again he'll feel... My little Michael may you keep Each night as his body lays down to sleep Love & protect him Guide him & nurture him Don't allow harm come his way Reassure him daily our love is here to stay Please bless my son w/ life another day...Thank you LORD for my Angel in disguise...for sending him my way...Thank you LORD for now my child no longer feels a stray......AMEN.
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I Dare To Dream I dare to dream a dream for me don't mind if no one cares My dreams are mine with no one else My dreams I have to share... I dare to dream a dream for me If you show interest I might bring you in to see We'll sail away together in a sea of endless dreams... I dare to dream a dream for me that myself it lets me be... I dare to dream a dream for me where I can live so free... I dare to dream I'm NOT dreaming I know it sounds extreme 'Cause if I get stuck inside that dream Then it will become my reality... & if I loose track of which is which Would it really matter? If all goes wrong Then not my dreams but life Would be completely shattered...Then again My reality,whether it be a dream or the real thing Would be all I really know...Therefore I dare to dream a dream for me That the real me will show.... Erika Gutierrez-Gomez Copyright ©2007 Erika Gutierrez-Gomez Modified by kika0127