CJ

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Think about all those times when you were a little girl or boy and you climbed up on your Daddy's knee. Think about all those times that your Mommy read you your bedtime story or sung a beautiful song to you before you drifted off to sleep.Think about all those times you fell off your bike and you were so ready to just give up but what kept you going was your parents cheering you on with those silly grins on their faces. Think about your first day at school when you were so nervous that you cried, but when you went in, your teacher was so nice and all the kids wanted to play with you. Think about all those times that you and your parents and your brothers and sisters went out to have ice cream together and you all acted like nuts and sang goofy songs. Think about all those times that a boy or girl at school broke your heart into pieces and you crawled up on your Mom's lap and poured the whole story out while sobbing and she hugged you and told you that everything was gonna be just fine. Think about all those times that you celebrated Christmas with your family and you woke up at 7:00 and went and woke everyone up because you wanted to see what was under the tree for you. Do you happen to remember any of those times? Now, think about all those times that someone in this world has taken all of that away from an innocent child.
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You are painting a portrait in your mind of how you think things are going to be, but when the real picture finally comes together, you will find that it's not the way you have imagined it at all.Everything you think I'm going to become, it will all fall apart right in front of you. I am not at all who you think I am. You have not even come close to discovering what I'm really like inside, noone has. CJ
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Memories deep within me are tugging at my skin, antagonizing me with pain and thinking they will win. But I won't let them get the best of me. I'm now pushing them away. I'll stop dwelling on the past every second of every day.I won't worry about what's gone on previously in my life. I'll stop pondering on all the trials, the affliction, and the strife. I'm burrying them deep, running, and never looking back. I will not look back because I have no obligation to look back. I 'll stop finding myself at fault for what's gone on before. I'm the only one with the key, and I've locked them behind the door. It's over now, no more hurt, no more pain. Someone else will have to live with all the guilt and all the shame. CJ
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What do you do when you lose your all, your everything? When the joy is torn out of your heart and the smile is wripped off your face? When you're more confused then you've been in your entire life and you don't know who to turn to?When it feels like noone cares and you're left searching your way through a big, dark maze of hatred? How do you handle that? Are you just supposed to sit by and watch everything you've ever loved crumple into pieces? I need some answers. There are so many questions flooding my soul and my mind. The why's and the how could you's have all become more than I can handle. CJ
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CJ
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There's something inside your heart that made me fall in love with you, and I'm trying not to lose it, but it keeps slipping further and further away. Our hearts are slowly hardening, and the laughter is turning to anger.The pain that comes along with loving you is becoming unbearable. The bad memories are starting to outweigh the good, and we're falling apart piece by piece. I've had my heart scattered so many times that it's been tough to find all of the pieces and put it back together, But somehow, I've managed, and right now, you're the only thing holding my heart together. If I lose you, it'll all just fall apart again. That's why I'm hanging on to what we have between us. Our love means everything in the world to me, and if it falls apart, I will too. CJ
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