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She knows nothing, absolutely nothing

She spun me around and everything was a blur. I could feel
something in my mouth, my fist.

I was gagging myself,

Soft warm liquid ran over my palms

And I screamed!

Screamed!

Her hands were acid on my skin, pressing further into my
body.

“No, no, no!” I said, moving away. She couldn’t reach
further into my soul.

I covered my ears, not wanting any of my thoughts spilling
out.

I felt my head lolling side to side, was she shaking me? But
my neck was numb

And I giggled, chocking.

The people around me

All the people that loved me, I was killing.

Slowly, I was burning them one-by-one

Scaring them, they could see the hollowness in my eyes, the
absolute nothing in my heart.

And I stared at nothing, but I could see my mom back away,
crying.

She was screaming “No, no, no!” just like I was! But she was
afraid of me,

Or sad at what I’ve become.

Letting them see me go slowly insane, melting into walls,
becoming nothing

They wanted nothing more than a normal girl?

I laughed again.

A normal girl? They called me not.

“Normal, normal, normal” I said over and over again. Was I
saying everything out loud?

All I wanted- was nothing?

Everything was a dream?

But we’re all dead, we all don’t exist.

“Crazy!” I screamed. “Nothing! I feel nothing!”

I felt her acidic hands on me and I screeched, pulling away.

“I didn’t feel that, though?” I laughed.

I hated that look of confusion and sadness on her face.

I wanted it to go away.

“Do you feel? Bitch?!” I yelled

I leaned over and bit, hard, on her skin, I don’t know where.
She screamed and I laughed.

“Liar, liar! Your lying, you! You lie- you can’t feel it
either, just like me!”

They all think that I’m out of my mind.

And yes, they’re right.

I’ve been shown the way out, no longer trapped within my
mind.

But they couldn’t have my thoughts, no, no those were all
mine.

They’re tried to get those out of me, to understand. But I
wouldn’t tell them, I wouldn’t open my mouth, or get my hands off my ears to
let them take something out of my soul, to draw it out of me.

If they knew my thoughts they would know what I’m saying
makes sense! If they were released from they’re mind prison, they would know why
my words makes sense.

They’ve told me once or twice to not give in.

They thought I was giving into something bad? That’s the
thinking of someone trapped! I am released, and free!

“Free! I’m free! You can’t touch me now! When I wake up I’ll
fly!”

I shouted, realizing I was overjoyed.

I’ve walked through the fire. I laughed to myself; they
think I’m dumb, I’m wrong.

I need to talk to another person like me, though. They’d
know that we’re all free now,

“Hurry, hurry! We need to get all of the others free!”

I grabbed
my mothers arm, but this time she pulled away.

I pressed my hands on either side of her face and pulled her
close to me

“Fly away, go now! No, I forgot you can’t - I’ll help you. I
want to show you!”

God, I hate
those people. They try and take me away, only my body. They put me to sleep, in
my body.

Do they know that I can escape?

“Yes, I can escape you’re prison, in the stars! Count the
minutes I’m away and I’ll say thrice that I remember. Give me the poison that
tries to hold me down, but you see wrong. Are your glasses broken, sir? They
aren’t real, that’s not a problem I see, now. I will be sure to come back to
you, young sir. I will show you away.”

The white coated man left, far away, but he pulled me with
him.

But he was mine? I recognized him?

I was having hallucinations.

Insane! “Make it stop!”

(C)ELaine 2009

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