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They say that time heals the pain -
Perhaps for them, they moved on -
But I, I have not yet even started
Down the road of recovery...
Of healing, of dealing -
What a sad, depressing hand of fate.
I know my faults
I know that I am still struggling
Through...
Through all of this.
And I know that it isn't
Just a matter of fate -
But of decisions
And state of minds.
Argue with myself...
Fight myself...
Everyday -
To lift myself out
Of this self-made hell of solitude...
But the world -
The world out there,
Is so dark and cold -
Nothing to hold on to -
Nothing to chase away the pain -
What the hell -
This argument doesn't even make sense -
Just some way to convince myself
To continue living in my self-made solitude -
To continue enduring the lonliness
To continue not living my life
And doing all the things I want to
To see all the things I want to see
To experience all that life has to offer -
And I try -
Maybe just not hard enough
When I make an attempt -
A raging, overwhelming fit of fear
Overcomes any hopes of trying -
So here I am -
Continuing on in my solitude.

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