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Early AM Thoughts

There are times I can't help but to think about the past.
The moments we shared.
The intriguing conversations and about possibly having a relationship.
Though most of the time it was me speaking.
You just smiled and said "but we're friends"
If you only knew how much it hurt when you say those words.
How in my heart I wish we were more.
Before you I didn't believe I could love again.
I thought it was a fantasy.
Dreams that were never a reality but a great feeling to think about.
I remember the first I met you and how you hugged me like we knew each other for years.
Maybe we did in another life.
We have so much in common that at times we could even finish each other's sentences.
It almost felt like we were destined to be.
I don't know much about life because I haven't lived that long to really explain it.
But I do know that I love you.
You may think I can't possibly be in love with you.
Sometimes I question these emotions.
So if loving you is accepting that you won't be in my life then I have to live with that.
As much as I want you I know you wouldn't look at me the same.
That's ok.
Because I want to leave where love is.
I don't want to mess with it.
Damage it.
Implement self doubts.
I know the love that exists in me for you is not influenced, conditioned or have any reservations.
It's pure.
Sometimes in life...in order to keep things pure you have to leave it alone.
So as much as I would like to reach for you.
Like the stars in the sky I know it's possible but every now and then I'll look up and smile thinking of you....

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