Title...

I dont know what to do anymore
part of me is missing
because the one i love is not here
with me, he is in Afghanistan!!
this is killing me and he wont be
back till April! what am i to do
I sadly have cut and i feel so bad
but part of me wants more of that blade
and i dont know why?? I am so happy with him
and i love him more than anything!! and I pray
god doesnt take him away!! But part of me is wondering why
i still want to cut if i am so happy because when i am with him i
dont think about cutting and when i know he is ok i dont think
about it!! but urg i just hate this

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