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Love is confusing...

I cant help but sit here and think about how i have been acting lately towards the one i love... I'm being stupid about my actions... and not thinking about what might happen.. I sit here accusing him of things that i would hope that he would never do..and deep inside i know he wouldnt... but when im around certain people those thoughts of him not doing things change into me thinking he is...
I love him with all my heart... and i want the best for him.. but sometimes i dont think i am the best... i believe he can do so much better.. but i dont want to let him go... i love him too much... but for me to sit here and think he is lying about everything is wrong... i now have this bad feeling that he is going to leave me because of the way i have be acting or that he is going to find a way for me to leave him... we havent been talking much.. havent seen each other since jan. 30th so i think everything is going down hill.. i just want him to know that i am sorry and that i dont mean to keep accusing him.. but its just soo hard with the short distance between us... i dont think he will ever read this.. but if he does i want him to know that i love him..
I want him to know that i am wrong.. and if not then i want to know the truth... i mean yea people lie.. but im not lying when i say i love him... i want him to know that i will always be there.. and that i will stick with him through the bad times.. and the good.. that i will support him with anything he dreams of doing... i will try my best to care for him if he may ever become ill... i will stand up for him when noone else seems to...
Noone is perfect and i dont expect him to be.. and i hope he doesnt expect me to be either... its hard to say what the furture holds for me or him.. but all i know is i want him in it... either with me or not.. but i hope its with me...(sorry if i misspell anything from now on.. im crying and cant see) basically what im trying to say is i dont want anyone else to get the chance to see how amazing you are... but if they do get the chance and they dont see it then they are blind... and i for one need to stop being blind and see what i have before its too late... i love you baby...
Im sorry for all i have done.. im sorry for accusing you of lying... im sorry for everything.... i... im done with this now... i hope you understand... and for anyone that has read this... keep your eyes open and see what you have and appreciate  every moment with them.. love them like there is no tomorrow and never look back on the past... once you find that special person never be stupid... and never let them go.. cause if you mess up there might not be a second chance...

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