Ok...how to start this? I am really confused and really need help!! Aug 4, 2007 i started dating this wonderful guy (ZC) He was my actual first guy i fell in love wit. when we started dating he was still a virgin but i wasnt. well after we did it i thought i was his first. well bout a month in to our relationship someones calls me and tells me ZC kissed another girl, i was hurt and called him and he promised he didnt do anything. well 5 months into our relationship he tells me that he did kiss her, i was pissed that he lied but i loved him now and couldnt leave him. then 8 months into our relationship he said he got drunk and slept wit the girl. it really hurt me but i stayed wit him. we ended up dating for 14 months. he got me a promise ring and everything was good but we would fight every single day. then he started off shore in like Sept 08 well he was working 2 weeks on and 2 weeks off he was gonna miss everything my senior year. well one day when he was off shore we fought again, i was really getting sick of all the fightin so i told him i was done and i didnt want to be wit him anymore. he quite off shore thinking he could come home and get me back he sent me a dozen white roses to school but i just couldnt go back to him. well after we broke up i started talking to another guy (AD) this guy is really sweet and everything we ended up dating. well the whole time i am dating him ZC is calling me asking for me back and everything. i am still on ZC phone plan but i give him the money for my bill. well AD is actualy the sweetest boyfriend i ever had he did everything i asked and is always here for me. the only thing i hate bout him is he slept wit 9 girls before me. well a few days ago he told me he loved me and i was the first girl he ever told he loved i do love him but it not as strong as i love ZC. well this past week i been thinking alot and even though ZC lied to me and hurt me i still love him but we still fight everyday. sometimes i just want to go back to ZC but other days i dont want to. im just really confused right now. i broke up wit AD last night and i told both of them i just need time to think about everything and want to be single. AD been textin me telling me he really loves me and wants to be wit me and everything. ZC says he will change and is willing to forget everything i did wit AD and atart over. when me and ZC were together he bought me anything i wanted and really was sweet besides the lies and fights. i just dont no what to do either way i go i am hurting someone and AD is a sweet guy and i think maybe i dont feel right right now wit him bc we rushed in to our realationship, i dont no if we would work, but i do all ready no what i have wit ZC and we had our whole future planned out. plz help me just tell me what you would do if you were in my shoes. and i no even though ZC lied to me i no he loves me bc when been broke up for 2 months now and i started dating another guy and everything and he still fightin for me and didnt go with any other girl!!! plz help
This is easy!
ZC loving relationships are not marked by fighting and any fighting only escalates after people are connected in a formal way. As a rule of thumb: it only gets worse with time. Anything you did have was sort of ruined when you dated the other guy (that was the time for taking a time-out from dating).
But that's definitely a good idea now. I'm afraid the other guy, no matter what he says, woudn't really trust you either. As far as planning futures out...thats hard to do at any age because much of life doesn't follow a plan.
Holidays are a good time to reconnect with family anyway and then just lay low for a while. Also, anyone who brags about having 9 girls before you is likely a "head case" anyway and a liar to boot! who mentions things like that?
so... i've been in this same situation more than once... but more recently than ever... honestly, i need help too, but i can give you advice that others have given me about the same thing: 1) Be yourself and have fun, whatever is supposed to happen will. 2) It's obvious that ZC really cares for you, but love is a giant step... it's more than a feeling, it's a decision and a commitment that from the looks of it, he's not ready to take. 3) Stay single for a while and have fun!!! I'm also in my senior year, so i'm taking a break from the relationship scene, and i would suggest the same to anyone. Yes, i'm in love with someone and have been for two years, but he's in the Navy and never home, not to mention we also fight all the time and have had our splits, which i hate, so i'm staying single and waiting for him, but i'm not gonna sit around and wait for him to change like he's promised time after time he would. If you can see a change in ZC before you decide to get back together, not just a change a for a week either, at least a few months if not more, then go for it. Otherwise, you may just waste your time by being with him. As far as AD, it's probably not a good idea to be with him if it doesn't feel right. Most of all, be true to yourself first. Try not to let the guys influence you, follow your heart. Stop worrying about hurting them, cuz either way somebody will be hurt. Whatever you decide, protect yourself and don't let yourself get hurt in the process. Worry about YOU!
it's simple' just toss a coin'
ZC on the heads, and AD on the tails' or vice versa'
not that the coin will determine who's who or better for you'
but while the coin is in the air' you will suddenly know, who you are hoping for' and knowing it will clear your mind about who you should be with' it's just following your heart'
but remember, the heart is not always right, not that is is always wrong either' those who enters something like yours must be prepared to be hurt' if you get hurt in the end' you must not regret, because you followed your heart, and you've been happy for that decision. so while on it, make the memories last forever.
i think i don't have to elaborate on that any further'
All I can say to you is that no matter how much love you may think you have for him or he may have for you, I PROMISE you, you're next relationship you will be thinking, "I can't believe I even liked Zach, this is what true love is." Maybe it will be true love, maybe it won't, but it will always get better. Always.