Don't dispair. It will get better. You've been through a lot it sounds and your entitled to be hurt and sad (anyone would). Here are a couple of simple things to brighten your thoughts:
-You can't change the past....but you can begin to change your present and your future
- you don't trust so easily but oneday you may find trust again
- you're very young and you have a full life ahead
- you can more easily recognize good vs. evil
- Though you feel abandoned, God sees your struggle and will be there for you if you ask for him
- while you think your parents failed you....they still love you
- you will find forgiveness in time
- you have a heart because its felt pain...so it can feel kindness
- Above all.....always.....you're still you
I know it means little to hear from a stanger....but I'm sorry these things have happened to you. I felt all the anger in what you wrote and the hoplessness (which I understand very well).
P.S. - Nice Legs!
cried for the first time
i cried for the first time in a long time...i never once thought that everything i ran from would come back and hunt me...i cant talk cuz my words was stolen...i cant hear cuz my mind is on another panet...i cant see cuz my tears are fallin so fast...i never wanted this kind of life from me...hell who would...i cry everyday but today wasnt lik everyday...today was full of hate...i try so hard to hide the pain i feel inside...people dont understand where im comin from...their so caught up in there own fuckin perfect life...but what is perfect?...i hate walkin around with the fucking world on my back...i use to ask myself when i was lil do all girl get rape...hit on by men...people making them feel so low...but what the fuck do they kno...nothing...i been hurting all my fucking life and not once my parent sat me down and i said im here for you...not once...so you think im a fuckin cry baby...try walkin in my shoes and feeling the pain that i feel...you try to feel sorry for me cuz i tell you a lil about my life...please dont cuz i ask for it...today i cried for the first time in a long time