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Should I be forgiven?

I was with a man for five years on and off. The first two years I was head over heels and so was he. The next two years we gradually fell apart. The last two months were horrible. He ended up making out with his good friend from work, I also knew this person which made it that much worse.That ruined everything; every chance of saving the relationship was out the door. But the thing is I, myself, was not always faithful. He knew about me screwing up in the past and he was very forgiving. But I couldn't do the same in return. Even when he confessed about the other girl, he never tried to use my past against me. We have been apart now for about nine months. Well, I moved on and now I'm in 4 month old relationship with a very special man, who is actually a childhood friend. I'm extremely happy with him! I care about him a lot. He knows me more about me than most people do. But one thing is bothering me and it's holding me back from being completely happy in my new relationship. A part of me dead knows that I can't be friends with my ex. I wish we could still be friends but he says he will not be my friend; he either wants all or nothing. It was even worse when he found out that I was in a relationship. I feel it's my fault that things ended up this way. But I can't shake this feeling of sadness. I don't know why I'm feeling like I should be his friend. Is it just because I was with him for 5 years and it went from best friends to instant enemies? Have I not had closure?? I've questioned my own feelings, which I wish I didn't do. But I asked myself...if I could have him back and it could be like it was the first two years all over again. Would I do it??? ..I wouldn't. So why am I feeling this way?!? Please, some advice.
Written by SugarOnTop
Submitted by SugarOnTop

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Comments (5)
    • I know things R difficult Life it self is difficult but we r the owners of our life we make choices some bad but there r good ones n others that we just give up on we dont try n e more we even try not to think about it. but what ever the choices we make we learn from it I have made a lot of mistakes thru out my life n I have had bad consequences and some good but right now I m gonna tell you my opinion I think that you shouldnt feel that its your fault if you still have feelings for him analize those feelings wether its love or just that u feel bad for him u cant sacrafice something big that later on will bring u tears if u are truly happy in ur new relationship then go on.dont stop to think about him, cause if u do then there is a chance that he is still in ur heart,so just let him go,n he should just let you go too n I understand him too he cant b ur friend because he still love u,cause for him to tell you either is all or nothing then go w nothing cause his telling u =i love u= so if u dont want to have a love relation with him then let him go because u are suffering n so is he n if you let him b ur friend then u r giving him hope n that is something that u probably dont want.ok lets say his atleast your friend then wat happens next,start talkin on the phone n then is painful 4 him 2 know that u have some 1new n that ur happy.look the 2 first years that you were happy w him those r now just memories they wont happen again so u have to think about ur self wat makes u happy? who makes you happy? because if you dont then who will.this is ur life n life there is only one dont choose the road that will make you cry.Look someone is obviouly gonna get hurt but dont let it b u just think about the future think about ur self.
      • yea I know exactly how u feel cuz the same thing happened to me except we were together for 2 years off and on. especially when we would fight his excuse was that it was all my fault cuz of tha fact that I had cheated on him b-4 but he wasn't exactly true 2 me neither cuz I found out tha hard way that he had cheated on me. but we stil talk every once in awhile sometimes. or we'll just fight every time we talk!
        • Thank you so much for your advice, I really took them in to consideration. You're right...It's time to let it go and move on. THANK YOU!
          • I think that you should of forgave him when he made a mistake. Why would you be so selfish and not given him another chance when he did gave you one. Well know you should leave him alone and not think about him so he could make his life.
            • I think that you should of forgave him when he made a mistake. Why would you be so selfish and not given him another chance when he did gave you one. Well know you should leave him alone and not think about him so he could make his life.
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