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Why Why why why why??

When the 8th grade came around, this one boy JJ was trying to get with me, and finally me and him ended up going out. About a month or two into our relationship I cheated on him nothing that big just kissing. I told him a few days later, then I broke up with him, and went out with the boy I cheated on him with. It was a back to back thing with me and JJ on and off all the time, even before I cheated on him. Me and JJ got back together, so of course he forgave me. Then a little bit down the road I had a party that he couldn't come to, and once again I cheated on him with two guys but this time oral stuff. So this time it was bigger. I was stupid and didn't know why I did it. One of the people at my party told him, and he called me up and dumped me. So I knew me and him were over now for good, we both had strong feelings for eachother you could tell I mean at least on his part, maybe for some people they couldn't see it on me. Three weeks or so went past he still talked about me to people asking how I was doing, did I still like him or not. Then we started talking again, we went back out it didn't last more than two days, he dumped me because he didn't see it working I couldn't blame him. Then we didn't talk like that anymore, maybe hi and bye here and there, but thats it. We both moved on. I had a boyfriend, and still then he liked me and wanted to be with me, always telling one of my friends to talk to me for him. Him always wanting to calling me but never having the guts. Something was still always there with me and him that never left. The summer came, I called him, because my friend kept pressuring me to because she was getting sick of hearing him talk about me and how he wanted to call me. So we got togetherto see eachother and hang out, we hugged and kissed..So then thats when I knew something was still there, he said he still had the same feelings for me, there never was a time I didn't hear him say that even after all that stuff! 9th grade came I went to a different school, ( not my chooce my mothers) we talked all the time, every day on the phone, we went out, but then broke up because I hadn't come back yet. Then I came back the day before I started at that school again, he asked me out. We were doing great it had been a month and there hadn't been any fights, no cheating, or anything. Then I'm at my friends house, it was me and about 2 other girls and 4 boys. Something happened, pressure it was, and once again I cheated on him with this guy (oral one of the same things I did with one of the dudes at my party, I don't have any clue why I never have. After all the times I have cheated on him I never know why I do it, because I do care about him, and I know he loves me, we are young but we know what we feel, it's not lust because if it was would he keep coming back to me, because yes me and him do go back out now! Everytime I look at him though I always ask myself why, why does he come back to me. What is it about me, nothing is special about me, yes I'am very pretty, and a wonderful person with a great since of humor, and many people love me, but why after all the pain and hurt I have put him through does he come back to me?? He says because he loves me, and there isn't anyone else he would want to be with. But how could he take so much of that pain, and still be with me.I'm not just writing this to tell y'all my story, but also maybe y'all could answer the question that eats me up inside is it because he loves me like he says, is that why he comes back to me?? And also I'm telling you my story because to you girls and guys, young and even old. Don't cheat on the person you are with regardless, if you just like them or you love them. Because not all will come back to you even if it is little like a simple kiss.Nothing good will come out of it maybe you think there will but there won't. If you have something to say about this email me or IM me at a2zjankstachic69 on AOL. by aubrey zaroff a2zjankstachic69@hotmail.com
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