sandra bazan

i dont know why but writing poems just helps me vent anger and pain. ive been told i useto have a real knack at it. all i know is that im good at solving other peoples problems except my own.
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i saw him one day just hanging around they introduced me to him and his name stuck with me years later i met him once more what an ignorant prick i thought to myself and yet he blew me away wow he knows what hes talking about people believed i loved him but i was too busy to even notice him its funny how he loved me without even knowing me and when i insisted he then persisted and it leads me to today how he says he loves me how he likes to dwell on me for in real life he only knows a side of me and the other side is the one he rufuses the real side to me in time he'll realize how right ive been all along he'll realize that we're not meant to be that he deserves another but until then why not have some fun hopefully he'll prove me wrong and last another day a week....and maybe even forever
Submitted by kani E-mail: buffyvampslayer1@hotmail.com denial was what i first felt which quickly turned to liking but fear was hear infront of me it wouldnt let me seeso i then confronted this and let my life be i allowed such thoughts to float w/in allowed to let them be but as always i was a little too late you seemed to feel the same way seeming with such love but as always i was afraid and wanted to run off but then i thought about it and see that im meant to be w/you not w/jesse you say you dont care and try to brush it off but your friends say differently and i dont feel you that way so in my heart you still linger and in it you will stay because im not prepared to give it up or even to not let you stay

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Submitted by Kani E-mail: Buffyvampslayer1@hotmail.com i thought i knew what i wanted but maybe i was wrong im thinking twice more than i shouldand it makes me want to wonder wonder what it was like a long long time ago wonder what its going to be like now that ive let you know i stood out in the rain once crying for a love i ran away from happiness once and found myself lost looking for the one who was there who i pushed away but when i found him next to me i wondered why i should stay i cant think strait i cant get this in order i dont seem to know why i feel this i cant seem to stop stop myself from falling too far far enough towards you no protection feelings open waiting to get hurt i seem to be important and you probably think so too but deep inside i wonder why why im even near you people talk i hear the wispers and yet my heart always flutters but in my eyes i see such love and in my mind i wonder...

Submitted by Kani E-mail: Buffyvampslayer1@hotmail .com I heard a funny rumor the other day a rumor of you Feelings you had and i had for you but no one knows us like we know usno one feels what we've felt They cant see my feelings They cant see your pain Only our actions will show if we'll stay Playing this game we keep playing each day one day we flirt one day we hate round and round we go never showing where we stand I stand here waiting for you to see this love I stand infront of you ready to open up I stand here not running away and hoping that you'll stay with me Hoping you wont be the one to runfrom me and see me the way you useto see me The tender love But not the pain I stand here waiting for you everyday But i grow weary of this little game So i ask you now where do you stand? Modified by buffyvampslayer1
Submitted by Kani E-mail: Buffyvampslayer1@hotmail.com You always been there Why hadnt i seen you? Why didnt i see the longing in you? You told me once i was running away...funny how you said youd stay You told me you loved me that you always would You told me youd never hurt me yet im broken in two Trust is what i always had for you but love is what i couldnt show for you time went by and feelings began to fade but my feelings for you always stayed I tried to supress it i tried to let it go But my mind keeps trailing off Off to you Its funny how my heart was always with you the friend that knew me knew me so well But now as i see you walking on by my heart begins to flutter then it sinks inside We are so different how can we ever go back a little time... a little effort and i will win you back.

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i love talking to you but i love talking to him i love spending time w/you both and love hanging out with himim so confused now i dont know you're feelings do you feel for me? does he feel for me? which should i choose whom should i seek? when im with you i feel guilty for the other, and when im w/him i feel guilty for you, my heart goes one way and then the other, why must i be so very confused? i thought i was ready ready for these feelings i never thought though, theyd be for two two whom are close two whom are friends how can i choose between the two? if i could, id get over these feelings, but my curiosity is much too strong wanting to know what might be there, wanting to feel what could be there. so i must fight myself, and figure out these feelings, i hope by then it wont be too late Submitted by kani E-mail: buffyvampslayer1@hotmail.com
is it wrong to fall for you? is it wrong to feel the way that i do? is it wrong to want to be with you? is it wrong to doubt my love?is it wrong to hide these feelings? is it wrong to hurt inside? is it wrong to miss you the way i do? how can any of this be wrong? is it wrong to forgive you? is it wrong to let you go? is it wrong to send mix signals? is it wrong to try to get you jealous? is it wrong to be the way i am? Am i really that wrong inside? is it wrong? is it all wrong? Submitted by kani E-mail: buffyvampslayer1@hotmail.com

i see you walk by and i get butterflies. i speak to you and get so nervous. when im w/you im always wonderin wonderin when you'll final see thisthe love i hide so deep inside the crush that has grown for you you think i like someone else when really that someone else is you confusion is what i hope you dont feel love for me is what i hope you do feel so when will you realize this you idiot i want you...im ready now Submitted by kani E-mail: buffyvampslayer1@hotmail.com Modified by buffyvampslayer1
even before i met you i knew i loved you you were perfect for me... everything i ever wanted and everything i could ever want was in youbut you left me alone you took all the love we had and gave it to her and now theres nothing left but you and her im alone now missing the way we once were why did you leave me... leave me for her. i can't understand what i did to deserve such pain. what did i do to make you go away. even after all the things you've said deep down inside i still feel the same way i love you still and always will so if you ever need me know that im here. i love you my love and always will........ by: kani buffyvampslayer1@hotmail.com
you tell me you love me and i brush it aside you tell me you hate me and i begin to cry could it be im just afraid afraid to say what i know i should sayi think i love you but im so unsure i dont want pain i dont want to hurt no more i once loved a person and i thought he loved me then he left me and hurt me so im afraid you'll do the same but it seems you're drifting unless i say i love you let's leave at i have feeling for you what do you say but i swear in time i will say it i'll say i love you and then you'll see im not so confused as you thought id be by: kani buffyvampslayer1@hotmail.com dedicated to: you know who you are

i don't want you to give it all up and live your own life collecting dust and i dont want you to feel sorry for me you never gave us a chance to beand i don't need you to be by my side to tell me that everythings alright i just wanted you to tell me the truth you know i'd do that for you [chorus] so why are you running away? why are you running away? cuz i did enough to show you that i was willing to give and sacrifice and i was the one who was lifting you up when you thought your life had had enough and when i get close you turn away theres nothing that i can do or say i just wanted you to tell me the truth you know i'd do that for you [chorus} (what is i have to say to make you admit you're afraid) by: kani buffyvampslayer1@hotmail.com

[chorus] if you could only see the way she loves me then maybe you would understand why i feel this way about our love and what i must do if you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says when she says she loves mewell you've got your reasons and you've got your lies and you've got your manipulations they cut me down to size say you love but you dont give your love but you wont [chorus] seems the road less traveled shows happiness unraveled and you got to take a little dirt to keep what you love here's what you gotta do say you love but you dont give your love but you dont stretching out your to something, just not there say you love where you stand give your heart when you can [chorus] by: kani buffyvampslayer1@hotmail.com

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