sandra bazan

i dont know why but writing poems just helps me vent anger and pain. ive been told i useto have a real knack at it. all i know is that im good at solving other peoples problems except my own.
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i saw him one dayjust hanging aroundthey introduced me to himand his name stuck with meyears later i met him once morewhat an ignorant prick i thought to myselfand yet he blew me awaywow he knows what hes talking aboutpeople believed i loved himbut i was too busy to even notice himits funny how he loved mewithout even knowing meand when i insistedhe then persisted and it leads me to todayhow he says he loves mehow he likes to dwell on mefor in real lifehe only knows a side of meand the other side is the one he rufusesthe real side to mein time he'll realizehow right ive been all alonghe'll realize that we're not meant to bethat he deserves another but until then why not have some funhopefully he'll prove me wrongand last another daya week....and maybe even forever
Submitted by kaniE-mail: buffyvampslayer1@hotmail.comdenial was what i first feltwhich quickly turned to likingbut fear was hear infront of meit wouldnt let me seeso i then confronted thisand let my life bei allowed such thoughts to float w/inallowed to let them bebut as always i was a little too lateyou seemed to feel the same wayseeming with such lovebut as alwaysi was afraidand wanted to run offbut then i thought about itand see that im meant to bew/you not w/jesseyou say you dont careand try to brush it offbut your friends say differently and i dont feel you that wayso in my heart you still lingerand in it you will staybecause im not prepared to give it upor even to not let you stay

#denial, #first

Submitted by KaniE-mail: Buffyvampslayer1@hotmail.comi thought i knew what i wantedbut maybe i was wrongim thinking twicemore than i shouldand it makes me want to wonderwonder what it was likea long long time agowonder what its going to be likenow that ive let you knowi stood out in the rain oncecrying for a lovei ran away from happiness once and found myself lostlooking for the one who was therewho i pushed awaybut when i found him next to mei wondered why i should stayi cant think straiti cant get this in orderi dont seem to know why i feel thisi cant seem to stopstop myself from falling too farfar enough towards youno protectionfeelings openwaiting to get hurti seem to be importantand you probably think so toobut deep inside i wonder whywhy im even near youpeople talk i hear the wispersand yet my heart always fluttersbut in my eyes i see such loveand in my mind i wonder...

#wonder

Submitted by KaniE-mail: Buffyvampslayer1@hotmail .comI heard a funny rumor the other daya rumor of youFeelings you had and i had for you but no one knows us like we know usno one feels what we've feltThey cant see my feelingsThey cant see your painOnly our actions will show if we'll stayPlaying this game we keep playing each dayone day we flirtone day we hateround and round we gonever showing where we standI stand here waiting for you to see this loveI stand infront of you ready to open upI stand here not running away and hoping that you'll staywith meHoping you wont be the one to runfrom meand see me the way you useto see meThe tender loveBut not the painI stand here waiting for you everydayBut i grow weary of this little gameSo i ask you now where do you stand?Modified by buffyvampslayer1
Submitted by KaniE-mail: Buffyvampslayer1@hotmail.comYou always been thereWhy hadnt i seen you?Why didnt i see the longing in you?You told me once i was running away...funny how you said youd stayYou told me you loved methat you always wouldYou told me youd never hurt meyet im broken in twoTrust is what i always had for youbut love is what i couldnt show for youtime went byand feelings began to fadebut my feelings for you always stayedI tried to supress iti tried to let it goBut my mind keeps trailing off Off to youIts funny how my heart was always with youthe friend that knew meknew me so wellBut now as i see you walking on bymy heart begins to flutter then it sinks insideWe are so differenthow can we ever go backa little time...a little effort and i will win you back.

#douche, #monkey

i love talking to youbut i love talking to himi love spending time w/you bothand love hanging out with himim so confused nowi dont know you're feelingsdo you feel for me?does he feel for me?which should i choosewhom should i seek? when im with you i feel guilty for the other,and when im w/him i feel guilty for you,my heart goes one way and then the other,why must i be so very confused?i thought i was readyready for these feelingsi never thought though, theyd be for twotwo whom are closetwo whom are friendshow can i choose between the two?if i could, id get over these feelings,but my curiosity is much too strongwanting to know what might be there, wanting to feel what could be there.so i must fight myself, and figure out these feelings,i hope by then it wont be too lateSubmitted by kaniE-mail: buffyvampslayer1@hotmail.com
is it wrong to fall for you?is it wrong to feel the way that i do?is it wrong to want to be with you?is it wrong to doubt my love?is it wrong to hide these feelings?is it wrong to hurt inside?is it wrong to miss you the way i do?how can any of this be wrong?is it wrong to forgive you?is it wrong to let you go?is it wrong to send mix signals?is it wrong to try to get you jealous?is it wrong to be the way i am?Am i really that wrong inside?is it wrong?is it all wrong?Submitted by kaniE-mail: buffyvampslayer1@hotmail.com

#wrong

i see you walk by and i get butterflies.i speak to you and get so nervous.when im w/you im always wonderinwonderin when you'll final see thisthe love i hide so deep insidethe crush that has grown for youyou think i like someone elsewhen really that someone else is youconfusion is what i hope you dont feellove for me is what i hope you do feelso when will you realize this you idioti want you...im ready nowSubmitted by kaniE-mail: buffyvampslayer1@hotmail.comModified by buffyvampslayer1
even before i met you i knew i loved youyou were perfect for me...everything i ever wanted and everything i could ever want was in youbut you left me aloneyou took all the love we had and gave it to herand now theres nothing left but you and herim alone now missing the way we once werewhy did you leave me...leave me for her.i can't understand what i did to deserve such pain. what did i do to make you go away.even after all the things you've saiddeep down inside i still feel the same way i love you still and always willso if you ever need meknow that im here.i love you my love and always will........by: kanibuffyvampslayer1@hotmail.com
you tell me you love me and i brush it asideyou tell me you hate me and i begin to crycould it be im just afraidafraid to say what i know i should sayi think i love you but im so unsurei dont want paini dont want to hurt no morei once loved a personand i thought he loved methen he left me and hurt me so im afraid you'll do the samebut it seems you're drifting unless i say i love youlet's leave at i have feeling for youwhat do you saybut i swear in time i will say iti'll say i love youand then you'll seeim not so confused as you thought id beby: kanibuffyvampslayer1@hotmail.comdedicated to: you know who you are

#feelings

i don't want you to give it all upand live your own life collecting dustand i dont want you to feel sorry for me you never gave us a chance to beand i don't need you to be by my sideto tell me that everythings alrighti just wanted you to tell me the truthyou know i'd do that for you[chorus]so why are you running away?why are you running away?cuz i did enough to show you that i was willing to give and sacrificeand i was the one who was lifting you upwhen you thought your life had had enoughand when i get close you turn awaytheres nothing that i can do or sayi just wanted you to tell me the truthyou know i'd do that for you[chorus}(what is i have to say to make you admit you're afraid)by: kanibuffyvampslayer1@hotmail.com

#running

[chorus]if you could only see the way she loves me then maybe you would understandwhy i feel this way about our loveand what i must doif you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she sayswhen she says she loves mewell you've got your reasonsand you've got your liesand you've got your manipulationsthey cut me down to sizesay you love but you dontgive your love but you wont[chorus]seems the road less traveledshows happiness unraveledand you got to take a little dirt to keep what you love here's what you gotta dosay you love but you dont give your love but you dontstretching out your to something, just not theresay you love where you standgive your heart when you can[chorus] by: kanibuffyvampslayer1@hotmail.com

#could

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