SugarOnTop

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I was with a man for five years on and off. The first two years I was head over heels and so was he. The next two years we gradually fell apart. The last two months were horrible. He ended up making out with his good friend from work, I also knew this person which made it that much worse.That ruined everything; every chance of saving the relationship was out the door. But the thing is I, myself, was not always faithful. He knew about me screwing up in the past and he was very forgiving. But I couldn't do the same in return. Even when he confessed about the other girl, he never tried to use my past against me. We have been apart now for about nine months. Well, I moved on and now I'm in 4 month old relationship with a very special man, who is actually a childhood friend. I'm extremely happy with him! I care about him a lot. He knows me more about me than most people do. But one thing is bothering me and it's holding me back from being completely happy in my new relationship. A part of me dead knows that I can't be friends with my ex. I wish we could still be friends but he says he will not be my friend; he either wants all or nothing. It was even worse when he found out that I was in a relationship. I feel it's my fault that things ended up this way. But I can't shake this feeling of sadness. I don't know why I'm feeling like I should be his friend. Is it just because I was with him for 5 years and it went from best friends to instant enemies? Have I not had closure?? I've questioned my own feelings, which I wish I didn't do. But I asked myself...if I could have him back and it could be like it was the first two years all over again. Would I do it??? ..I wouldn't. So why am I feeling this way?!? Please, some advice.
Written by SugarOnTop
Submitted by SugarOnTop

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