Lesa Bee

My name is Lesa,um i'm not sure wat i am meant to write here.Hope you enjoy my poems and stuff
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(This isn't a poem or a story or a quote. It's just some feelings)

Months before we met I really didn't believe in love anymore. Seemed like every relationship around me was falling apart, so I thought to myself why do I want this to happen to me again?
For a long time I was closed off from Men, I was only looking for fun. Some days I enjoyed the single life, others, I felt alone.

We began to talk and to be honest I was scared and blew you off. So it took us sometime to actually meet.

When we finally did I was blown away! All my walls came down straight away. I forgot about all those bad relationships and thought, doesn't mean it has to happen to me all the time, this could be the last time.
You were smart, funny, charming and kind and best of all you didn't try to make a move (as much as I wanted you too (-: )

We spent a good day together and I didn't want it to end.

I truly like you and want to see where this goes, cos something tells me this could be the last time.

#ljb

Earlier this year my best friend (who was also my first high school boyfriend) told me he has feelings for me. One of my other friends liked him and kind of pushed us together. Anyway we were in a relationship for about 2 weeks when he dumped me cos he had to leave the state to work. That was  months ago and I just can't get over it! For a while he wouldn't even talk to me. I guess when he left I was a bit selfish and was angry cos I thought he was leaving cos he had commitment issues and didn't want to be with me.
We talk now every now and then, we are trying to be friends again but I still love him way more than a friend. He wont tell me how he feels, we talk like friends but as soon as I bring up what happened he stops texting back.
What does this mean? I would appreciate comments from guys.

Keeping in mine months and months ago he told me he couldn't offer me a relationship so I was happy just being friends and I never thought about beingwith him,then all of a sudden he's telling my other friends if he had a chance with me he wouldn't screw it up, and he told me he use to get jealous when I would tell him about guys I was seeing. Then all of a sudden he wanted me, I didn't see it coming but he left just as quickly.

#ljb

"Better That We Break"

I never knew perfection til
I heard you speak, and now it kills me
Just to hear you say the simple things
Now waking up is hard to do
And sleeping is impossible too
Everything is reminding me of you
What can I do?

It’s not right, not OK
Say the words that you say
Maybe we’re better off this way?
I’m not fine, I’m in pain
It’s harder everyday
Maybe we’re better off this way?
It’s better that we break…

A fool to let you slip away
I chase you just to hear you say
You’re scared and that you think that I’m insane

The city look so nice from here
Pity I can’t see it clearly
While you’re standing there, it disappears
It disappears

It’s not right, not OK
Say the word it should say

Maybe we’re better off this way?
I’m not fine, I’m in pain
It’s harder everyday
Maybe we’re better off this way?
It’s better that we break

Saw you sitting all alone
You’re fragile and you’re cold, but that’s all right
Life these days is getting rough
They’ve knocked you down and beat you up
But it’s just a rollercoaster anyway, yeah

It’s not right, not OK
Say the words that you say
Maybe we’re better off this way?
I’m not fine, I’m in pain
It’s harder everyday
Maybe we’re better off this way?

I’m not fine, not OK
Say the words that you say
Maybe we’re better off this way?

I’m not fine, I’m in pain
It’s harder everyday
Maybe we’re better off this way?
It’s better that we break, baby

#ljb

It's almost like you had it planned
It's like you smiled and shook my hand and said
"Hey, I'm about to screw you over, big time"
And what was I supposed to do?
I was stuck in between you and a hard place
We won't talk about the hard place

But I don't blame you anymore
That's too much pain to store
It left me half dead
Inside my head
And boy, looking back I see
I'm not the girl I used to be
When I lost my mind
It saved my life

It's how you wanted it to be
It's like you played a joke on me
And I lost a friend
In the end
And I think that I cried for days
But now that seems light years away
And I'm never going back
To who I was

Cause I don't blame you anymore
That's too much pain to store
It left me half dead
Inside my head
And boy, looking back I see
I'm not the girl I used to be
When I lost my mind
It saved my life

I think that I cried for days
But now that seems light years away
And I'm never going back
To who I was

Cause I don't blame you anymore
That's too much pain to store
It left me half dead
Inside my head
And boy, looking back I see
I'm not the girl I used to be
When I lost my mind
It saved my life

That life seems like light years away
Light years away
And that life seems like light years away
Light years away

#ljb

I don't mind it
I don't mind at all
It's like you're the swing set
And I'm the kid that falls
It's like the way we fight
The times I've cried
We come to blows
And every night
The passion's there
So it's got to be right
Right?

No I don't believe you
When you say don't come around here no more
I won't remind you
You said we wouldn't be apart
No I don't believe you
When you say you don't need me anymore
So don't pretend to
Not love me at all

I don't mind it
I still don't mind at all
It's like one of those bad dreams
When you can't wake up
It looks like you've given up
You've had enough
But I want more
No I won't stop
Because I just know
You'll come around
Right?

No I don't believe you
When you say don't come around here no more
I won't remind you
You said we wouldn't be apart
No I don't believe you
When you say you don't need me anymore
So don't pretend to
Not love me at all

Just don't stand there and watch me fall
Because I, because I still don't mind at all

It's like the way we fight
The times I've cried
We come to blows
And every night
The passion's there
So it's got to be right,
Right?

No I don't believe you
When you say don't come around here no more
I won't remind you
You said we wouldn't be apart
No I don't believe you
When you say you don't need me anymore
So don't pretend to
Not love me at all

I don't believe you

#ljb

I'm sorry I said those things that made us fall apart again. I never meant to hurt you or doubt yourself in any way.
The times we spent together I will never forget, because I was happy. I never stopped wanting you and never wanted anyone else.
I don't believe you want this to end, I guess I will just have to sit and wait. I know I shouldn't but I think we're meant to be.

I don't care what people say or think. I know you never meant to hurt me.

I love you and we all make mistakes, and I will do anything to make it all right again.

#ljb

These violent delights have violent ends and in there triumph die,like fire and powder.

#ljb

To forgive is one thing
To forget is impossible
When you lie and say you love someone
Then turn and walk away.

#ljb

Why did you say you love me?
When not long after you left?
How was it love?

Why did you just leave me?
After all I tried to do
I put up with what you said
cos I thought you could be the one

Why did you do this to me?
I can't give my heart to another
All I think about is you
Though you hurt me too many times

Why are you so hard to get over?
It's been too long
I should move on
It's killing me inside.

#ljb

Moving on is hard to do...
We still talk and we shouldn't
if it's only going to end again.
Being friends is hard
because I still feel for you.
I have told you and you sometimes feel the same.
Is it cos you feel alone,and just need a backup?

Moving on is hard to do
I just can't do it with you around
I still want you
I want that feeling to fade.
So I can finally move on
If thats the way it's meant to be.

#ljb

2 Weeks... It doesn't seem like a long time
Lots of things can happen in 2 weeks.
You can win the lottery
Meet someone new
Make new friends
Or lose a loved one.

2 Weeks... It doesn't seem like long at all
But in 2 weeks I fell in love and lost that love.

2 Weeks... Can seem like a lifetime
When you feel like your life has fallen apart.

In 2 weeks everything can change.

#ljb

I have decided to get closure! I threw out his stuff that he left at my house (i was holding onto them with hope) but just suddenly decided to ditch them. I know i deserve a man not a boy!!!
I sent him a text message telling him exactly what I think of him (maybe not everything) but it was enough. And I read on this website "how to deal with getting dumped" that i should start writing a list of things that weren't that great about him. Only got 3 things so far but apparently it will grow...wait just thought of a 4th one lol.

=D

#ljb

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Lesa Bee
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