pazzpop

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I write because no one knows who I am.
I couldn't care less if you think it's shit...
Just know that what I write all comes from experiece..
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A tear rolls down her cheek,
as she remembers how he spoke.
So soft against her skin.
As gentle as his stroke.
He takes a seat beside her,
sure not to make a sound.
Creating such a fear,
as he takes a look around.
He watches her impatiently.
Can't wait much anymore.
But she has no idea,
what he has for her in store.
She doesn't make a sound.
She's wondering what's next.
But this little girl,
doesn't know just how complex.
She acts as if asleep,
thinking he will leave.
Instead he takes a peak.
What the fuck will she recieve?!
Just a little fourth grader.
Scared right out of mind.
As he reaches underneath,
he will not be so kind.
She tries to make it stop,
this feeling still unnamed.
No one can help her now.
She begins to feel ashaimed.
Painfull tears she's holding in,
but she cannot fight back.
His hands beneath are hurting her.
It's strength which she does lack.
I could have stopped it,
his disgusting stroke.
But I didn't say a word.
I had to choke.

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Tell me one more lie... I live off your lies. Tell me you want me, you need me, you can't live without me. Tell me you love me. Tell me you love me more then you love her. Tell me I'm the ONLY girl for you GO ON! Feed me another lie. They get me through the day. Give me another fake smile, another false hope. Tell me you're happy to be with me. Tell me there's no other girl on your mind. LIE FUCKING LIE TO ME! I NEED YOU TO! I've stopped crying, I've stopped caring, that what you tell me isn't really what you feel. I've stopped being bitter, and I've stopped trying to catch you out on your lies... Because they're things that I want to hear. SO GO ON! Tell me you're in love. I don't want the reality... I'm giving you permission to LIE.

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Here it comes, closer and closer. And I tell you, I tell you that it's coming. But you just push me, further and further into this black hole. The darkness overpowers. Covering every living cell of my soul. The pain, burning a hole in my longing heart. I can't bear it. But there's nothing to stop it. Nothing I can do to change it. It is happiness for you. It is an aching, throbbing pain for me. You tore us apart. For your own selfish wants. You don't even expose the truth. And so I sit, being eaten alive by the darkness. The darkness of my feelings. The feelings that I have for you, and that you have for her.

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It is my saviour.

My one and only relief.

For every feeling,

the good and the bad.

And so it is there for me.

For every word,

that gets spat in my face.

It is there for me,

when he is drunk.

It is there for me,

when she is crying.

It is there for me,

when they are fighting.

It is there for me.

The more the pain,

the higher I turn it up.

The more the love,

the higher I turn it up.

It is music.

And I never turn it down.

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