strange_brew

i am
a daughter
a sister
a grand-daughter
a niece
a cousin
a friend
a partner
a sudent
a young girl
cofident and scared
terrified and excited
loving and caring
and thoughtful and hopeful
sick and tired
shy and friendly
careful and careless
broken and whole
misunderstood
misguided
and mislead
hardworking and determined, but a little scared on the inside
i wish on stars and dream my dreams
i pray to god and cry my tears
i smile on the outside, while i'm dying on the inside
i listen to others who don't listen to me
i walk on eggshells and i walk on fire
i believe in passion, but not true love
i love you and i push you away
i want you but not so close

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when me and my husband are still together, everything was fine..but soon as he got to work miles away from me, i started to feel that my love was slowly fade away..maybe because of lack of communication and i felt he wasnt doing his responsibilities in terms of financial basis..

then one day, a spark came between me and my bestfriend..he was 3 yrs younger than me..i was 29 and he was 26..we started dating for almost 8 months..he's always right here beside me, he never leave me..

but then, his parents noticed that it was not right to have a relationship with a married woman..so he decided to stop whatever we had..it was hurt, really at my part knowing that i was ready and planning to give up my marriage (but not my kid) just to settle my life with him..

now i was totally confused if my decision to leave my husband and file an annulment is right or wrong..i know it was expensive and it takes years but i dont know if he's still there waiting for me..

i am lost need some advise...

#lost

i'ts been quite a while since i knew whats on your mind
do i?
i don't know if i'm going to believe my self
but because i love you..i'll try...

i can't understand you this past few days
neither understand my self thou
i know i like you that much
but it seems the feeling is not mutual...

you've just said "i luv u"
then i replyd "i luv u2"
is this what you like to say?
or i'ts just what you want me to believe...

i wish this things will work out right
for u to change for better not for the worst
i want you back in my arms again
just because
i want u..but not who you've been lately





#confused

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