viciouscaramel88

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I am a 23 y/o single parent to a baby boy....

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Behind my chest is a bleeding heart,

Inside i hide the pain so no one will see,

but the pain is unbariable  'cause now it's "I" instead of "WE",

In a relationship is hurt and pain suppose to be.....?

Behind my smile inside im crying,

It was our second go round, deep inside my heart has broken down

It feels like we didn't learn nothing from our mistakes deep down,

I feel like our relationship was a failure and this is why i backed down...

When i laugh i'm really falling apart,

Mentally i don't think im strong enough to deal with our situation,

and i believe neither of us need the aggravation,

I feel like our relationship was full of frustration,

Behind my toughness inside im dying,

Breaking up is not what i want but it must be i know it's a shame, and yes i

know im the one to blame, but my feelings i will not allow to be toyed

with like a game, and i admit all things aint the same.....

Behind my eyes flowing tears from the moment's we shared begain to start,

Inside im hurting bad from all the memories locked in my head,

Im wishing now the agruements we had was unsaid,

suffering from the memories im going to wish i was brain dead....

Behind my body my soul is trying to depart...

I am confused!

How can you say you love me,

but you call a woman from your past baby?

You've even been texting your "baby" while your here with me.

On a count of all of that you have picked your "baby" up and took her home.

But yet you ask me what are we doing? like you really want to b with me.

What i'm saying, by it are you amused?

Would it hurt you if i had someone from my past i called baby?

If i was texting them while I was here with you.

It probably would hurt your feelings, maybe this is true

Only if you felt what I felt I probably would be getting the third degree.

Everything in my body is telling me you and her are still screwing.

Would you be man enough and tell me the truth?

Would the truth be you agreeing with me?

......My heart is not to be abused.....

Thinking bout' the times we shared together...

Remember how we talk all night while looking at the stars?

Remember how as one we stood strong through the good and bad times?

But then we departed and yes at that time it left my heart and soul wit scars..

I thought if I forgot bout' the good times we shared together all the scars would go away.


But once my stomach begun to grow memories came raining down on me..

Then on May 21st, 2008 seeing and holding our son brought all those old memories right back.


Remembering how you would make me laugh,

Remembering the day you wouldn't let me leave,

Remembering the first time you cried in front of me,

And how we used to play those silly and fun games.


Deep down I do want that fairy tale story we talked bout that night.

And deep down I miss you making me laugh even when you got on my last nerves.

But I know that we could never last another chance you still put scar's on my heart by never seeing our child for the first time.

He will be two soon and he doesn't know what his father really look's like..

You did some really hurtful things before but not being apart of your son's life that's the worst in my eyes...

Right now you may think you still got time to catch up but I think you should have been already up to speed.

Laying here all alone holding my pillow tightly in my arms wishing it's you..
Slowly I began to rub my legs up against yours.. All while my head softly rests
on your chest, caefully I listen to the soft melow sound of your heart...
Right then I notice that every beat my heart skips it's your heart beat that replaces...
Finally I woke up only to notice that I was dreaming of a wish that would some day
come true and become reality...

,

Sitting all alone day dreaming about our special day,
just to let these long lonely days past away.
Until we met again all I have is your letter's that keep
me sane. What can I say I'm madly in love with you,
and yes I know that you love me too.
These months and years are taking to long. I yearn  for
your touch and tender kisses. me wanting and needing
you feels like apart of me is missing.
Every time I close my eyes I see your face and when I
touch a letter from you I feel your hand. I never knew
love could be this strong. But when you write about us it
seems like a love song.
I'm so happy that this is real I never want this feeling to
go away. I never thought I would love someone the way
I love you, but you open my eyes and my heart and showed
me the way................
You became my teach and my best friend. teaching me about

life and love and showing me that you were and is my friend
with every letter that you send.
These are some of the reasons why I want you as my lover,
my king and the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.
Until my dying day next to you is where I want to take my last
breath..........

It was you..........

It was you who broke my heart in two.
I wonder was your heart and soul ever true?
Was loving me really hard for you to do.

The reason for these wall, it was you...

Now I keep my heart hidden from you
By steel and strong walls so you can't see through.
I guess love was something you never knew.
Lies after lies is all you could do.

Something that grew in my heart, it was you...

Pain and sorrow in my heart is all that grew.
Sitting at home looking out my rare view,
Wonder one day will i ever meet someone new
Who's soul will be sweet and true.....

With you unconditional love is all I knew, its was you..

I bet you never knew how much I did love you.
There was so many signs and that one clue,
To you I was never untrue.

It was you, it was you......

Two bodies one soul.
This is what makes you feel whole.
No it's not a play, there's no cast or a role.
Feelings are like roller coaster's no one has control.
Every time you see each other there's an emotional bliss.
There are butterflies in your stomach every time you kiss.
And when it's time for you two to depart you tend to miss.
Thinking about y'all very first time you begin to reminisce.
How he patiently waited for you.
And with all the rough times he seen you through.
He never made you feel blue.
This is how you knew his soul was true.
By doing all of this he showed his dedication.
Like when you called running he came with no hesitation.
Being able to be yourself he gave you inspiration.
You knew to your heart and soul he held the combination.
Every time he looked at you, it was the beauty that was skin deep that he seen.
Seeing the real you he knew you would be his queen...
No other beauty or soul would change his mind or come in between.
In his eyes you were his flower, his star and you were his butter bean..



How can you tell the difference between love and lust?
This questions comes up when your heart is crushed.
So much pain inside it feels like it's gonna bust..
Find the answer to stop the pain you feel you must..

What separate's the two is your next question?
Days go by and this question is your depression..
You wonder was it love or lust that you gave an impression.
Love verses Lust is now your obsession. 

Still nothing has separated the two.
From all the blood your heart bleeds, you feel your through.
You think maybe love is not for you..
Or maybe love just isn't true.

But yet your heart will not give in..
You know some how love will win.
Deep down you felt more then lust within...
Yes it was lust that made it begin....

So how will we know at the end it was love?
When you woke up was that person your morning dove.
Or every time you seen that person did you think highly of?
Or was that person easily to let go of...?

Let's just say love is for affinity
And all lust do is help takes your virginity




I knew I loved you.
This was true.
I tried to show you this you knew.
But there someone else, tell me who?

Tell me you don't care anymore.
Tell me it's not love that you felt before.
Tell me I was never yours.
Tell me your love has close it's doors...

On that day, why you push me away..?
Was you afraid that games I would play.
But it was you that put on a display.
It seem as though you were different everyday.

Tell me you don't care anymore.
Tell me it's not love that you felt before.
Tell me I was never yours.
Tell me your love has close it's doors.

You said we would be together forever.
All my problems you would solve whatsoever.
Would anyone hurt me you said never.
Forever came to an end however..

Tell me you don't care anymore.
Tell me it's not love that you felt before.
Tell me I was never yours.
Tell me your love has close it's doors.

Since I've been gone have I cross your mind..
Do you remember when we once was combined.
Those nights you was so sweet, gentle and kind.
I guess not 'cause you left me behind.

Angels are people with a face of grace..
Angels are people who can't be replace.
Some have wings and some do not.
How many angels can you spot.
Can you tell an angel when you see one.
I found an angel, it's my son.
Yeah angels come in all shapes and sizes..
They're fun to be around, filled with so many surprises.
An angel can be your lover, friend, parent or child...
You will know who they are 'cause at you they always smiled.
Now don't be scared or surprise they will not harm you...
But to give you genuine love thats strong and true.
To an angel you must not be mean or cruel.
For at the end you will be a fool..
The fool who lost an angel's love indeed..
And forever your heart will bleed....

Missing you is what I do.
Missing you turns my ski blue.
Missing you day and and night..
Missing you just ain't right...

Why did you have to go away
and make me miss you...?

Missing you is all I do..
Missing you yes this is true...
Missing you please make it stop
Missing you is something I can not drop...

Why did you have to stop loving me?
Why couldn't you just let it be?

Missing you is taring me apart..
Missing you has broken my heart...
Missing you something I do not want..
Missing you is something I do, I can not front...

So until we meet again...
My heart will be in pain..
Who would have known my heart would ache from missing you.




Me, I wanted to beloved..
You, love was something you couldn't dream of...
Me, it was you always on my mind..
You, I was always left behind.
Me, you was my prince.
You, sex is all you seen for you to see different I couldn't convince.
Me, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You, wanted someone new.
Me, I wanted you around all the time.
You, didn't even want to be mine
Me, so I told you I would leave.
You, just wouldn't believe.

Now it's been three months and you haven't seen me since....

You, say love is what you want and this time your convinced..
Me, I say I'm done the love for you is finished..
You, say give you another chance you know what you want...
Me, I say boy you don't know so don't front..
You, say you want to be my man and not my friend...
Me, I say you can't be my man without being my friend what can't you comprehend..
You, say you was scared back then...
Me, I say so what now I'm suppose to give you my love again...?
You, say yes we can work it out...
Me, I say that's something I strongly doubt...

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