SAD_GIRL_AKA_TEARS

I AM A GIRL LIVING IN THIS BIG WORLD TRYING TO MAINTAIN. ITS HARD WHEN YOU BEEN BACKSTABBED BY SO MANY PEOPLE YOU SHOWED LOVE TO AT ONE POINT. I'M THE GIRL NO ONE BELIEVE'S IN BUT THE ONE THAT'S GONNA PROVE THEM WRONG.
Friends
Empty
Profile Feed

MY MAMA TOLD ME WHILE I RUN THESE STREETS SHE CANT SLEEP. HER PHONE RING LATE AT NIGHT SHE THINK SOMETHING HAPPENDED TO ME. HER NERVES SO BAD RIGHT NOW SHE CANT EVEN WATCH TV. SHE TURN HER HEAD EVERY TIME SHE SEE A POLICE, SHE SCARED TO LOOK CAUSE IT MIGHT BE ME IN THE BACKSEAT. WHENEVER SHE HEAR ABOUT A SHOOTING HER HEART SKIP A BEAT, SHE HEARD THE FEDS IN TOWN HER KNEES GOT WEAK, SHE KNOW IM AT HOUSE THE ONLY TIME SHE AT PEACE. HER BLOOD PRESSURE TO THE ROOF ALL BECAUSE OF ME.
HER FAVORITE WORDS ARE "DOPE AINT THE ONLY WAY TO EAT" SHE TOLD ME THE OTHER DAY SHE HOPE I DONT DIE IN THESE STREETS I JUST PRAY TO GOD SHE DONT WIPE HER HANDS WITH ME.

IM A GOON TO THE STREETS BUT TO MY MAMA IM STILL HER BABY, RAISED A STREET GIRL BY HERSELF YOU A HELL OF A LADY THE SHIT IM DOING NOW GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH HOW U RAISED ME. SHIT KILLING ME TO KNOW IM RUNNING MY MAMA CRAZY.

I REMEMBER THE NIGHTS ME SITTING UP IN A COLD CELL. IM WAKING U UP OUT UR SLEEP ITS ME CALLING FROM JAIL. YOU AINT SAY IT BUT I KNOW INSIDE YOU MAD AS HELL U CALLED OFF FROM WORK JUST TO BOND ME OUT OF JAIL. I GET IN TROUBLE I CALL YOU SEEM LIKE IT NEVER FAILS. I CAN HEAR U NOW "GIRL U NEED TO SIT YOUR ASS DOWN SOME WHERE" I COME AND EAT I TAKE A SHOWER THEN IM OUT OF THERE. I KNOW IM STRESSING YOU AT TIMES SEEMS LIKE I DONT CARE. YOU WROTE BAD CHECKS FOR ME TO HAVE SOMETHING TO WEAR. U RISKED UR FREEDOM FOR ME 9 DAYS THATS REAL RARE. EVERYTIME I THINK ABOUT THIS SHIT I WANNA SHED A TEAR, THATS WHY I BUY U SOMETHING FOR FATHERS DAY EVERY YEAR.

U DID THE BEST U COULD WITH ME AND I LOVE U FOR THAT, WANTED ME TO STAY IN SCHOOL BUT THAT AINT WHERE MY HEART WAS AT. I GOT EXPOSED TO THE STREETS AND FELL IN LOVE WITH STACKS AND ALL THE TIMES I HURT U, WISH I COULD TAKE IT BACK, WHEN DADDY LEFT US U STEPPED UP AND TOOK HIS SLACK. I KNOW IM SELFISH AND FEELINGS IS SOMETHING I KNOW I LACK. THE SHIT IM DOING NOW I KNOW U RAISED ME BETTER THAN THAT. U SHOWED ME HOW TO BE A WOMEN AND SHOWED ME HOW TO ACT. SOMETIMES I WONDER HOW U STILL PROUD OF UR DAUGHTER. AFTER ALL THE STUFF I TOOK U THROUGH AND ALL THE SHIT I DONE. WELL LIKE YOU TOLD ME WHEN GOD WANT ME HOW I CANT RUN. BEFORE HE TAKE ME WANT U TO KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE U MOM.

I DONT THINK WE SIT DOWN LONG ENOUGH SOMETIMES JUST TO REALIZE WHAT WE TAKING OUR MAMA THROUGH, IT HURT ME TO KNOW THAT IM RUNNING MY MAMA CRAZY ITS REALLY KILLING ME TO KNOW THAT IM HELPING IN  KILLING MAMA WITH ALL DA STRESS. PLIES (EDITED)

#life

I ALWAYS USE TO TELL U DONT HURT ME AGAIN, IT WAS A TEENAGE LOVE IT WAS ALL PRETEND. WHEN I WASNT AROUND U WAS GETTING AT MY FRIENDS I GUESS U WAS A PLAYER PLAYING DA FIELD U SHOULD OF CARED MORE ABOUT HOW U MADE ME FEEL. CUZ THE LOVE WE BUILT WAS FALLING APART U COULD SEE IT IN MY EYES U WERE BREAKING MY HEART U KNOW U WERE DA BLAME FOR PLAYING THOSE GAMES.

#hurt

ITS FUNNY HOW THE FRIENDS U HAVE DECIDE TO CHANGE AND ACT DIFFERENT TOWARDS YOU. AND ITS EVEN FUNNIER THAT THE FRIENDS U THOUGHT HAD UR BACC ARE THE ONES WHO STAB U IN IT BUT WAT CAN I SAY ONLY TIME COULD TELL REAL CHARACTER TRAITS, CUZ THE FRIENDS I FIGURED TO BE REAL TURNED OUT FAKE. BUT IF FAKE IS WAT THEY WERE BORN TO BE THEN LET THAT SHIT BE BUT IM SAYING THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW IF U A FAKE THEN DONT COME TOWARDS ME CUZ I HATE FAKE ASS FRIENDS AND IM TIRED THAT THEY ACT LIKE THEY UR FRIENDS WHEN IM PRESENT THEY BE LIKE HEY WATS UP OR I GOT YO BACC AND TRYING TO BE ALL UP ON UR BUSINESS AND AS SOON AS I LEAVE IS WHEN THEY FIND THE PERFECT TIME TO STAB ME IN DA BACC, AND THEY WANNA GO AHEAD AND START TALKIN SHIT. AND I COME TO REALIZE THAT 99% OF THE PPL U MET ARE FAKE SO THAT LEAVES 1% REAL. AND I JUST GOTTA SAY I HATE FAKE ASS PPL AND I NOTICED THAT WHEN SOMEONE BACC STABS ME I GET SO MAD THAT I WANNA LEAVE FAR AWAY BUT I COME TO REALIZE THAT IF I RUN AWAY FROM THE FAKE PPL AND DRAMA ALL THEY WILL DO IS FOLLOW ME CUZ IT SEEMS TO FOLLOW ME EVERY WHERE SO Y EVEN BOTHER. SO NOW ALL I CAN SAY IS FUCC FRIENDS CUZ EVEN BACC THEN ALL THEY DID WAS PRETEND. BUT THEN AGAIN I AINT DISSING NO ONE PERTICULAR IM JUST SAYING THAT THERE AINT TO MANY FRIENDS U CAN DEPEND ON, CUZ THEY ALL DO U WRONG AT DA END BUT WAT CAN I SAY WIT FAKE ASS FRIENDS LIKE THAT WE DONT NEED ENEMIES BUT SHIT THERE AINT NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ENEMIES AND FAKES CUZ ITS DA SAME SHIT TO ME!!! BUT WAT I COME TO FIND THE FUNNIEST THING, IS THAT WE WAS ALL SUPPOSE TO BE RIDE OR DIE BUT I GUESS WHEN THEY TURNED FAKE ARE FRIENDSHIP DID RIDE BY ITSELF AND DIED!

#fake, #friends

IT ALL STARTED WHEN I WAS IN SCHOOL IN MY 9TH GRADE YEAR. I NOTICED CHRIS A BOY I HAVE BEEN TALKING TO ON MYSPACE AND HE LOOKED FAMILIAR SO I WALKED UP TO HIM AND WE STARTED TALKING WE SWITCHED NUMBERS AND THATS WHEN IT ALL STARTED. HE STARTED WALKING ME TO CLASS EVERYDAY, HE WOULD CALL EVERYDAY AND HE WOULD ALWAYS WANT TO TAKE ME TO PLACES. WELL ONE DAY HE FINALLY ASKED ME OUT AND I SAID YES. FROM THEN ON WE WOULD ALWAYS TALK ON THE PHONE AND WE WOULD EVEN SLEEP ON THE PHONE. WELL AS MONTHS WENT ON WE FELL IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER THEN A YEAR WENT ON AND IT JUST GOT STRONGER. NOW IM IN MY SENIOR YEAR AND THATS WHEN IT ALL FELL APART. HE HAD DROPPED OUT OF SCHOOL AND HE JUST COULDNT PAY FOR ME WHEN WE WOULD GO ON DATES, EVERY TIME WE WOULD GO OUT I WOULD PAY FOR BOTH OF US AND I WOULDNT MIND. WELL WE WERE STILL KIND OF GOING STRONG IN SOME TIME IN NOVEMBER OF LAST YEAR 2008. WELL AS DAYS WOULD GO BY I NOTICED CHRIS WAS CHANGING HOW HE ACTED AND HOW HE TREATED ME. HE STARTED TREATING ME LIKE SHIT. WELL I WAS FEELING DOWN SO I TRY TO CALL MY BEST FRIEND WHICH SHE KNOWS HOW I FEEL ABOUT CHRIS AND SO I CALLED HER AND SHE DIDNT ANSWER AND I WAS LIKE THATS WIERD SHE ALWAYS ANSWERS MY CALLS AND SO I WAS LIKE MAYBE SHE IS BUSY. WELL SHE CALLS BACK 3 HOURS LATER I TOLD HER THAT CHRIS WAS ACTING DIFFERENT BUT THAT I WAS STILL IN LOVE WITH HIM SO IMA TRY TO SEE WHATS WRONG. WELL WE FIXED IT AND COME DECEMBER HE THOUGHT THAT IT WAS TIME FOR US TO HAVE SEX AND I WAS NOT THAT READY BUT SINCE WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 3 YEARS AND 5 MONTHS AND WE WERE BOTH VIRGENS I AGREED TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM. WE HAD SEX IN DECEMBER 19 2008 AND I FELT LIKE THAT MEANT A LOT BECAUSE HE WAS MY FIRST. BUT I GUESS I THOUGHT WRONG BECAUSE COME JANUARY 2009, IT ALL STARTED TO FALL APART AGAIN HE BROKE UP WITH ME ON JAN. 21,09 AND I WAS HEARTBROKEN SO I CALL THE ONLY PERSON THAT HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME MY BEST FRIEND AND I TOLD HER EVERYTHING AND I NOTICED SHE REALLY DIDNT SAY MUCH SO I WAS LIKE HELLO I NEED YOUR ADVICE AND SHE COMES OUT AND SAYS IT THAT HER AND CHRIS HAVE BEEN MESSING AROUND WITH EACH OTHER. AND THAT THEY HOOKED UP ON JAN. 10.2009 AND THAT JUST BROKE MY HEART EVEN MORE I SAID SHE WAS A B*TCH FOR THAT AND THAT WE WERE TOGETHER AND THAT SHE KNEW I LOVED HIM. SHE SAID THATS WHY HE WAS CHEATING ON YOU WITH ME SHE SAID SHE DIDNT MIND US SHARING HIM I SAID SHE WAS A HOE AND THAT I CANT BELIEVE SHE DID THAT. SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND FOR MORE THAN 7 YEARS AND SHE DOES THIS TO ME. WELL I TOLD HER SINCE SHE WANTED HIM SO BAD SHE CAN HAVE HIM. I WENT HOME RAN TO MY ROOM AND LOCKED THE DOOR AND STARTED TO CRY I HAVE LOST 2 PEOPLE I LOVE THAT DAY. THE BOY I FELL IN LOVE WITH AND THE BEST FRIEND THATS ALWAYS THERE WHEN I NEEDED HER. AND NOW IM THE GIRL WHO SHOWS NO LOVE TO BOYS, THE GIRL WHO CANT TRUST NONE OF HER FRIENDS NOW BECAUSE IM SCARED IF I TRUST SOMEONE SO MUCH THEY MIGHT DO ME WRONG. NOW ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE AND TRUST THE MOST ARE ALWAYS GONNA BE THE ONES WHO DO YOU WRONG AND HURT YOU THE MOST. BUT THATS OK BECAUSE IF IT WOULDNT OF BEEN BECAUSE OF THEM I WOULDNT OF BEEN A STRONG GIRL. 



YOU JUST READ MY LOVE STORY AND HOW I BECAME WHO I AM TODAY A STRONG AND WISE GIRL. THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ MY LOVE STORY AND HOW IT ALL BROKE DOWN. LEAVE ME A COMMENT ON WHAT YOU THINK OF MY STORY. THANK YOU AND ANY ADVICE WOULD BE HELPFUL I REALLY DO THINK I NEED SOME SO PLEASE JUST LEAVE A COMMENT AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK THANK YOU AGAIN.

#story

HEY YALL THIS IS DEDICATED TO THE BEST WHO EVER DID IT MY BROTHER JUST SO YALL KNOW I LOVE HIM AND MISS HIM AND I CANT WAIT TO SEE HIM AGAIN AND I KNOW HE WATCHING OVER ME FROM ABOVE.

THEY SAY ITS ALWAYS DARKEST BEFORE THE DAWN AND THAT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE UNTIL ITS GONE I THOUGHT I KNEW WHAT I HAD BUT I WAS WRONG, AND THATS WHY I HAVE TO WRITE THIS LIL SONG SO COME ON. SAY MAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD OF BEEN A LONG TIME FOR US AND MANY MORE YEARS ON THE GRIND FOR US. I THOUGHT THE FUTURE HELD A LOT FOR US BOTH BUT I GUESS I JUST ASSUMED WE HAD MORE TIME FOR US TO MAKE MORE MUSIC AND WRITE MORE RHYMES BUT NEVER IN MY LIFE COULD I EVER SEEN THAT I WOULD EVER HAVE TO LOSE THE OTHER HALF OF MY TEAM AND TAKE AWAY THE GLITTER THE GOLD AND THE GLEAM SAY MAN I WONDER TO MYSELF WHAT DOES IT ALL REALLY MEAN. NOTHING WITHOUT THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE. SAY MAN I LOVE MY BROTHER BUT I KNOW HE LOOKING DOWN FROM ABOVE. 
JUST FOR THE RECORD LET ME GO AHEAD AND SAY I LOVE MY BROTHER AND MAN I MISS HIM EVERYDAY AND YEA MY HEART STILL HURTS AND THE PAIN STILL FRESH BUT IMA PUT GOD FIRST TO KEEP THAT PRESSURE OFF MY CHEST AND REMIND ME THAT IM BLESSED TO HAVE HAD HIM AS A BROTHER A RIDE TO DIE HOMIE THAT WAS WITH ME TIL THE END AND I KNOW I WILL NEVER HAVE A PARTNER LIKE THAT AGAIN SO SILVINO RAMIREZ I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I KEEP YOUR MEMORIES CLOSE IM NEVER LETTING THEM GO AND THEY ALWAYS GONNA REMEMBER THAT YOU WAS HERE MAN CAUSE IMA MAKE THEM REMEMBER THATS WHY IM HERE MAN YEA ITS STILL HARD AND I STILL CRY BUT YOU AND GOD KEEP ME STRONG SO IMA STILL TRY AND YOU GONNA LIVE FOREVER SO TRILL DONT DIE. THERES AN ANGEL IN THE SKY WATCHING OVER ME.

I KNOW ITS NOT MUCH OF A LONG SONG BUT ITS HOW I FEEL ABOUT MY BROTHER LEAVE A COMMENT AND TELL ME WHAT YALL THINK THANK YALL FOR TAKING YALLS TIME TO READ IT.

#death

YOU PICKED A FINE TIME TO LEAVE ME, NOW THIS HOUSE AINT A HOME. I HAD NO PROBLEM BEING FAITHFUL, I LOVED YOU SO MUCH I HATE YOU BECAUSE YOU LEFT ME WHEN I NEEDED YOU THE MOST.

#feelings

... or jump to: 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009
Info
Full Name:
SAD_GIRL_AKA_TEARS
Membership

Administrator

My Posts