Thunder, rain, lightning....
How could i explain all the pain and hurt she caused me?
Like an arrow tipped with poison
Its going straight to my heart
Twisting, turning, gasping for air
How did i let her become my world when i was a mere display
Like a fascinating art piece from a gallery
She left me hanging, dangling, frozen....
My heart is colder than the coldest day in the history of earth
Gone....like a candy wrapper in the morning breeze
No goodbye, no explanation, no sincerity for my feelings
Would she ever....
NO WAIT
(Inhale - exhale)
Shes not coming back...
I drop to my knees grasping at the grazes
Uplift my arms and let my tears run with the rain
Ready for the process once again
As time caresses my broken heart....
She possesses a smile
Warm....
Sweet...
Beautiful..
Mysterious!
Yet her heart cries out with pain
Pain from all the past fellaz who hurt her
Why is the only question that crosses my mind
How a fella can hurt such a sweet girl
Mysteries are never ending
I could only imagine a touch
The embrace of her soft hands
A kiss
The impartial softness of her breath upon my lips
A laugh
The sweet sound of her voice
A simple embrace of time where i could show her how she should be treated
Show her that not every fellaz the same
As for now friendship is enough for me
Almost too much
One mistake is enough to change your life completely
Even a SORRY cant contemplate how sorry you realy are
Behind all the smiles and laughs
Hides a flame of anger & rage
A flame that longs to be put out
At first he was at fault
Now a burden lays upon these shoulders
A burden that will be carried head hung low
In shame of what these hands have done
A wrong to right many wrongs
Relieving?, Excruciating?, Happiness?
Could it ever be put to rest how these hands have committed
As this head bows, these knees kneel and these hands reform
The beginning of a prayer
Whilst the end of his life embraces him completely
Reflections of the full moon shimmer across the sea
Breeze gently blowing through her hair
She leans in and whispers
"i love you"
He smiles
She smiles
One minute of silence
Their lips intertwine
One never thought another soul
Could make him feel so complete
He caresses her gently
A tear rolls down her cheek
He whispers
"i've always loved you"
She looks amidst the sea
As tears roll down her cheek
He sits in silence then asks
"baby, have i done something wrong?"
She cant look at him
Then she says it aloud
"i'm seeing someone else"
He pushes for an explanation
Or a sorry
But....
She just gets up
Walks away
Into the foggy night
As he sits alone
Confused, lost, wondering
Wishing that he were dead
Feeling that his heart stopped beating
Hoping someday
Just someday
He will be able to sew together
His heart
That she just tore apart
Then shred
Into little
Tiny pieces
I cried today
Like a new born baby
Trying to figure out how and why
I feel the way i do
Exasperation....
Sighs....
Broken....
She was selfish, self centred
How else could i put it
Yet so many people cared for her
I even once loved her
Once wouldnt be the right word
Coz now i bleed for her
I bleed from my heart
Soul...
The wind blows
I wish it would sweep right through me
Take all these emotions out
Free me from my wrath
Another life lost
Another life gone
Another life wasted
For what?
A love she left behind
Three years ago
Im left
Emotional....
Traumatised
Burdened
Was it all really my fault
She took her own life
Unexplainable
Coz now shes gone
Here i am
Carrying a burden
Laid on me by the woman
Whom i once loved
My phone rang two weeks ago, Thursday
I didnt pick it up
But it rang
My phone rang two days later, Saturday
I didnt pick it up
But it rang
My phone rang Last week, Tuesday
I didnt pick it up
But it rang
My phone rang Last week, Thursday
I picked up
It was her, my ex
She was crying
So was i....
From my heart
She said she was sorry
For all the pain she caused
I said i was sorry
For not answering my phone
She said she was finished with her man
i apologized
She said she still loved me
i apoligized
again....
She said she wanted me back
I apologized
again....
She said her mom kicked her out
Silence....
She said she was going to kill herself
Tears, broken heart, anger
I sat in silence
She repeated herself over
I told her not to do anything
She insisted its what she wanted
I told her too many people cared
She said she didnt care
Dial tone.....
She hung up
I tried calling back
No answer....
Heart racing, full of worry
Teary eyes, pounding heart beats
Trembling, shaking
Ringing
Still no answer....
My phone rang yesterday, Wednesday
I picked up
It was her mom
Silence
I could hear her moping on the other end
My heart skipped a beat
A tear ran down my face
Finally, words....
She committed suicide on Monday night
Confusion....
If only i was there when she needed me
There she was standing before me
Silence filled the air
Smiles passed from one to another
She caressed my hand
I embraced her gently
There we were
Unspoken words.....
Her friend spoke
She smiled
My sister spoke
I smiled
We gazed into each others eyes
For no longer than two minutes
Departure.....
Left me saying
I wish
I should
I could have
I would have
If only i could speak my mind
I wouldnt be so full of this feeling
This feeling of hope.....
The way she moves is like the an on flowing stream of water
Her smile eases my soul in a way none other can
The way she dresses keeps my eyes stuck on her
Her voice so sentimental and sweet
How can i explain to her that i want to be the one?
The one who sweeps her off her feet
The one to make her smile when shes upset
The one who will be there just to be there
The one who will be there when she needs someone
To just listen to what shes going through
The one who will love her for her and
Will never try to change her
The one to take away her pain and refill her heart
Mind and soul with laughter, joy&happiness
The one who will never make her cry because
Of the things i do or say
The one who will let her know how much
I love her each and every day
How can i explain to her that she's captured my heart?
My heart that i vowed would never be re-opened
My heart that i built a thousand walls around
Just so i could hide the pain from the girl before
My heart that i kept in the cold so I wouldnt fall
Again for a beautiful smile such as hers
How can i tell her that slowly im falling in love with her?
Falling in love with her from afar
Observing and melting all at once
When she's near i melt inside
That its her soft gentle touch i long to feel
I wish i knew just how to say it all but when
She's near i lose my voice and my body trembles
My mind goes blank and my hands sweat
Just how do i let her know