nikstaaar

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hey
my names nikki. im 17 and i live in australia. i come on here to just express whats on my mind. i dnt actaullyy try and write the poems i jsut write random stuff that im feeling. thanks bye xx
Relationships
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why does it hurt to love you
i love you soo much it hurts me
xxx

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the crack, turns into a break.
the line, turns into a road.
and we are on either sides.
one, turns into two halves.
we are no longer where we were.
lies, turn into truths.
turth, turns into lies.
trust is lost.
respect is forgotten.
love is faided.
no more colours.
the world is black and white.
red blood down the sink.
faiding into a blur.
everything has stopped.
i hear one beat.
nearly a second.
light reappears.
your eyes meet mine.
your tears touch my cheek.
the sound is back
"i love you" whispered into my ear.
should i believe it?

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when you have everything
you have everything to loose

the words of a great
amor vincit omnia
love conquers all

the latin language
never look back
only see the future
the words of a mentor

your only young
you will have many more loves

the words of a mother
theirs plenty of fish in the see
hes not worth it

the words of a friend

i love you
i love you too
the words exchange between lovers

xx

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i have waited so long for this moment
those 3 words come out of your mouth
that mean the world to me
i love you too
a merical has come my way
the angels have brought me you
and i couldnt be happier
your smile
lights up my day
your eyes
keep me awake
your smell
keeps me from faiding into reality
your voice
keeps me sane from the outsiders
i love you
to my dearest boyfriend
i love you till the end
thankyou for bringing him to me
xx

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me; the other woman
her; the girlfriend
you; the lover
me and her; mates
how could this happen
you and me
you and her
me and her
so close yet so far away
the kiss from you
the touch of your hand
made it worth it
untill now
the secret is out
the stories have began
but truth lays so far underground
only i would no
do u no the truth
how did it happen
why did it happen
i have lost u and her
i am stupid
yet it feels like it was worth it
but i could be wrong
from 3 - 1

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the pain i have when i look at you
when i think about you
the pain when your name is said out loud
and when you hold me
i dnt no why im still here
in this nigthmare
you hurt me soo much
but i cant let go
when you lips touch mine
its like kissing a saw
when you hug me
its like knives digging into my back
one day the pain will go away
till than
i will stick through the hurt
and relise what i have

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i have come to relise
that i dnt need you anymore
i have come to relise
that your not important
i have come to relise
that a new me is what i need
i have come to relise
that change is good
i have come to relise
that your the past
i have relised
that i can move on
and i dnt need you in my life
i control me
i am me
a new me!

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all i see is black
no light
no sun
no brightness
at this point no energy
i cant fight back
you made my life black
no eyes
no voice
i cant scream
im choking
garsping for air
i want to tell you why this is
why do u do this to me
no love
no faith
no hope
please save me from this darkness
i wanna be helped
but no one is there
i see a light
hope
maybe even a smile
but than you came back
depression over comes me
your name screaming in my head
why why why
what did i do wrong
everything is black again
no light
no sun
no brightness
its a game to you
my heart is just a toy on a string
like a yoyo
you do what you want with it
break it
but you need to put it back
you do this
than play with it again
i love you
your are all i nedd
but i cant see u in this blackness
im chocking again
i need air
i wanna live
but you wont let me
i need to be in control
than it black again
and the light itsnt going to come back
either is your face
goodbye.

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okay
this isnt a poem or anything
this is just me getting eveyrthing off my chest
you see latley i feel like im someone diffrent
i have changed
but i am still me
i have changed a group of mates and i love them
but i hate drama and thats all they are
i still see my other mates i love them they are like family
and i had a bf. we didnt last very long he lived 2 hours away and coz of work we only saw eachother on the weekend
but see i fell in love with him
and he broke my heart right when i thought he was the one to keep it
he broke it even more when he slept with someone not even a week after we broke up
this broke me
and i needed help back up
but i had no one
so i put on a new face
pretended i was fine
and i think this helped me moved on
but i would give anything to have him bak even after what he did to me
im one of those ppl who likes to see other ppl happy than myself
for example. if me and my best mate liked the same guy i would let her have him
just to see her smile and happy
i have always been like this
and this new person of me is coming over it
i have done some bad things latley
and i have karma now
i hate myself for what i did
but i did it coz i wanted to be happy for once
insted i ruined 2 peoples lives not just one
i guess i wanna go back 2 years
when all us girls jsut did what we want and got over it
didnt fight over guys
didnt care what we looked like and what people thought of us
we were true to ourselves
we didnt fake anything
didnt put on a face to make other happy
please take me back to these days
when i was truely happy

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i fucked up big time
your my mate what was i thinking
sleeping with ur boyfriend
it was ment to be our secret
but the look on the face made me give in
i no i fucked up
please forgive me
i no theres no trust anymore
but it can come backk
right?
im fucked up
what made me think i had the right
hes yours not mine
and never will be mine
but he made me feel special for those few times
said nothing to be worried about
how could i of done this to you
your my best friend
together forever
no more.
shit fuck crap fuck
why did i do it
i want our friendship over him
hes just a stupid boy
why did we get him inbetween us
i no i shouldnt of done it
but its the past
plkease forgive me
we can get past this
I NO I FUCKED UP
IM SORRRY!

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You let me in
'Cause after all
It seemed like the right thing to do
I closed my eyes
And let you fall
I wonder what you could possibly know
About breaking down that I don't
It's been awhile
Since I begged for
Anything but now I want more
So lay me down
I'm lonely
You don't understand me
And you'd never even try to
Anyway
I hear you say
It's not the same
I'm sorry
It's something I just can't explain
So shut your mouth
And hold me close
We both know
It's better than being alone
I don't mind
Killing time
As long as I can't see it in your eyes
If wanting you's so wrong then I'm wrong
I'll admit it
Time after time you'll realize
You don't mean it

,

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the feeling you give me
the ways you make me smile
makes me feel like im flying
than im as high as the sky
and if i fall you will catch me
you make me feel
like im am the only one
like nothing else matters
like nothing can hurt me
you make me feel so specials
puts a smile on my face
for once . . . . .
it feels like we are one
that you complete me
we share everything
every breathe
every smell
every touch
i never want you to leave me
i dont how i would live without you
you are my one and only
MY LOVE!