oreo2012

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Well my name is marissa and i live outside a small village called wakeman. I enjoy writing and i have a wonderfull boyfriend named matt who is amazing. I am currently in High School and plan on attending college for Criminal Justice, Writting, or computers! I hope you enjoy my blogs
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2008-05-121  1:17:40



I cant make up my mind and i cant seem to find a way, you should no i try and try everyday. I would'nt want to let us go I know you may not know because i tend to never really let it show. There has been times where i have thought about leaving because i found looks are truely decieving. At that moment I wanted to stay then i wanted to go, an at that moment i never felt so low. You didnt have a clue and that alone made me blue. I had two great guys and even one that was lost due to my lies. I was truely lost as the time passed by. Honestly i thought about taking a try but not on you but this other guy. Then i relized what i had then at once i felt so bad. Babe i couldnt picture me with out you no matter what i do it would somehow make me blue. I just want you to know i love you!

2008-03-17
11:05:59
Frown

For some reason i keep holding on. Apart of me wants to let go, but im torn in between and i really dont know. It seems like recently you've been trying not to let your feelings show. Frustration and anger overwhelme me, pain and jelousy surround me You make it out as ill always be there, but if you dare to keep turning this healed heard into a tare im gonna say goodbye. For the reason of i cant keep getting hurt eveytime i fall for what i think is a wonderful guy, and everytime i find really is just a great lie. I dont wasnt that hurt feeling i cant afford to cry. So please just tell me what exactly it is you want because i have not one clue. So make up your mind so im not wasting time so i know if loving you right now is trueley wrong!

11:02:21
2008-03-17


you make it so hard for me to be there but yet so hard to walk away. Your my strength and reason for loving every single day. I wish i could look beyond your voice and gaze behind your eyes so i could see what lies. Is hard to make everything better and uderstand your fears when everytime i try you act like you dont even want me near. All im asking is for you to make everything clear so every mixed emotion wont turn into another tear.

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11:02:21
2008-03-17


you make it so hard for me to be there but yet so hard to walk away. Your my strength and reason for loving every single day. I wish i could look beyond your voice and gaze behind your eyes so i could see what lies. Is hard to make everything better and uderstand your fears when everytime i try you act like you dont even want me near. All im asking is for you to make everything clear so every mixed emotion wont turn into another tear.

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10:59:22                                          
2008-03-17

                                                                    Im Sorry                                                 
I wish I could take back what I’ve done so in my head I’d know you’re not gone. As the thoughts crossed my mind and the tears filled my eyes when I heard your tone as you said I lied. I’m with this guy but I want to be with you but I’m not sure now if there’s anything left I can do. I understand you were upset and upset at me I was too. Please just forgive me and give a chance. Maybe then I won’t be so blue and I could get good feeling when I think about you. I feel like I’m just giving up and letting you go. You might not care but I’m just letting you know. I tried to tell you how I felt, but it all came out wrong and you ended up gone. So now I’m left with a tear every time I hear our song “That I love you. I have loved you all along and I miss you been far away for far to long I keep dreaming you’ll be with me and you’ll never go, stop breathing if I don’t see you anymore”. How does something that seems so perfect just fall apart? I wish this was a game so when I lost I could move my piece back to start then I’d win and just maybe still have your heart. Something I was trying to get but after this I found I already had all along, and it makes me so mad. I wish you’d just tell me everything’s okay even if its not. Forgive don’t forget even then I would be glad and my heart would go back to normal and no longer be sad.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love always, Marissa

2008-01-28


When i think of me and you i think of when it was just us two. When we had nothing to do id just lay there next to you not wanting anything else to do. I think back to when i never got blue everytime someone mentioned you. Remember when you were o so polite I remember that dark cold late night. I remember for a start i gave you my heart. I dont know what to think anymore it all started when you walked out the door... the door to my life the door to my dreams.. It took sometime but i finally admitted it wasnt a crime..... to love you even tho you made me blue and i still couldnt help to keep loving you! I finally have this big smile inside i cant stand to hide im gonna let it show and laugh at anything because i got to let you know that i finally let you go!!




2008-01-28

Hes on my mind and in my heart and this is where this so called poem starts. He broke my heart once but not on purpose but very hard. Tears would come and tears would go but somehow i a smile would always show! I dont know how and i never knew why because inside i just wanted to die. New messege from Kyle about 8'oclock im sorry for everything that happened but if you care youll just drop it i didnt know what to do it was the first time in three months i had heard from you. It somehow made me blue i could tell because these tears started falling again for you as the memories arose of just us two. Here is this guy i fell in love with saying hes sorry and he cant talk to me anymore.... the next parts the worst its where i had to say goodbye as the tears flooded my eyes and mascara began to run and find a new home on my sleeves. I then replyed with big hazy eyes well i guess its goodbye i loved you alot and i dont even know why, i still wish we could just go back in change what happened so that you could still be a part of my life im sorry sorry ky but i uh guess this is goodbye!

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2008-01-28

 I saw your picture yesterday i cant explain the feeling that i got. One part of me whispered good thing im through with you but my heart screamed who am i kidding im still in love with you. We dont talk we arnt even friends. Sometimes i wish we.. could just pretend. Forgive but dont forget let go but dont regret. I've tryed my best to be strong i know what you did was wrong. Apart of me is waiting to cry because ive tryed my best not to die. Im forced to lie when i look people in the eye nd try honestly to say that im truely over this guy. Well the seconds turned into minutes and the minutes turned into hours so im going to stop writting now because i have nothing else to say but maybe ill figure this out hopefully another day! </3

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2008-01-28

I wonder if he remembers that night when it was only him and i in sight or the first time he said i love you and i knew i meant it to. I remember the first time we kissed i was so nervous i could of missed. You always made me smile and i was never in denile. I thought about you everyday and could not stand you being away. You made me feel like we had the world in our hands there was no pressure or even demands. Everything was okay when you held me in your arms and id hear you say just take my hand and everything will be okay. Youd laugh at my jokes but id joke for your laughter! I never quite relized what exactly it was that u were after. You were always there and very fair youd always compliment me on something id wear. Our love was kinda like truth or dare and you always seemed to care

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2008-01-28

I know i said goodbye but heres my chance to start back at hi. I'm sitting here waiting for just one sign and to think im only on the second line. Yesterday i practiced not to cry. Im getting better and my tears are almost dry. Im gonna try even more even tho my hearts still sore from the day it tore when he told me he found you behind that door. If only she wasnt such a whore. Yesterday a thought crossed my mind of you, but it didnt seem to make me quite as blue as the first moment i relized i had just permently lost you. I hope what they say is still true even to this day about if its meant to be it'll always find a way. I can only seem to think of the colors black and blue kinda how my heart felt when i first thought about you. Well times going by as im trying not to cry I hope that one day you prove you really are a nice guy!

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2008-01-28

When I think about him even to this day he still somehow manages to take my breath away but all thats left to do is just turn away. I didnt want to say goodbye I wish we could just start back at the first day i said hi. As i mezmorize the way i felt when i looked in your eyes. I thought what we had was going to last, but all this came about way to fast. Its around a quarter till 2 and here i sitt still missing you. I know my friends are trying to get it but what they dont relize is its still just you and me in it! I cant explain this sad feeling tho i promise you that im healing. Ive still got to try even if all i remain to do is cry. One day i hope you see that i wanted you back so bad i would get down on one knee. Im going to try not to cry, try not to pry, even tho i found out that everything was a lie. Most of all inside ill try not to die. I am still to this day very in love with you. I wish you would just get the clue bacause maybe then i could quit thinking about you. Well im off now to practice not to cry so at this moment for now its just goodbye!


Marissa

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