"I know when I am out of touch and time just feels so 'write', that I've become poetically a dream that's taken flight"
Smooth
As the listening night
Fondles a breeze
Along a curious sky,
And I continue to fall away
Tapered fingers touch
Upon a half-smile
And downward look
For the undertakings
Of your gentler nature
Smoothing my mind
Across innocent thought
I sit motionless
Amidst the realms
Of wonderment
Until the sweet desolation
In the absence of your voice
Begins weeping our tale,
And the stillness
Stings any movement
Fading from my deserted eyes
Moon Bird
I dreamt I was a little bird
That taught myself to fly
My first attempt I hit the ground
But I refused to cry
I shook it off and flapped my wings
Until I got it right
With nothing left to hold me back
I flew into the night
I realized that gravity
Could not hold on to me
And so I flew towards the moon
Since Earth had set me free
It took a while to reach the moon
It's pretty far from here
And from the moon I saw the Earth
So beautiful and clear
I told the moon about my dreams
That I had left at home
And that it was the only place
Where my true heart could roam
‘You better go before you wake’
Came as the moon's reply
‘And little bird, remember this-
You taught yourself to fly’
When I awoke I smiled at you
Then whispered in your ear,
‘You should fly to the moon
It's not that far from here’
Agile Enlightenment
Having found the fuming hatred
And pretentious enlightenments
Of the collapsing world
Behind the boredom of fatigue
Disheartening
I began to question the nature
Of such dedicated efforts
Constantly moving us along
The faltering weight
Of existence
Trailing the agility
Of wilting time
Along the gentle steps of night,
I knowingly
Traced the inexpressible
Lasting impressions
Radiating of a beauty
Unknown
And as I did, my charming,
Albeit brief encounter
With this nameless grace
Sparked an imaginative smile
Upon my expectant face
Thus releasing
The mellifluous
Splendor of her
Ancient Laughter
Which surprisingly enough
Had pretentiously
Escaped my own
Conceptual oppressions
Of preconceived notions
Exasperating Vim
Speak for me my Raconteur
Convey a reverie
Shift affluent fauna
To a flora bourgeoisie
Mesmerize insanity
Or scream my solitude
That's perished from anxiety's
Rebirth of gratitude
Sanctify theology's
Impartial parity
Expounding how irrelevance
Detracts veracity
And reify my energy
Delighting what was dim
To tarnish sociability's
Exasperating vim
Sifted Grain
Sifting through forgotten dreams
To find my peace of mind
'Tho abstracting foggy shores
Detracts what I should find
Waves of misted solitude
Have crashed without a break
Leaving my uncertainty
Uncovered in their wake
Heated swells have buried me
Inside a fevered shell
Now my verve can't sense beyond
Just knowing I'm not well
Sleeping through the worst of it
Deterred most of the pain
Until it showed my fated sands
How they were but a grain
Episodic Isolation
As the fragmented memories chasing
The warmth from color-filled days
Take hold of the shattered efforts,
I discover how liaising a recalcitrant society
Can calmly reject the implorations
Of an anxious soul seeking nothing more
Than a cleansing rest from its exhausted misery
Though barely able to stand firm
Within my indifference while watching
The unimaginable fall carelessly through
The disguise of tact and familiar horror,
I find myself still sitting far beyond
The desperate reaches of my
Sincerity's scattered bitterness
Scarcely able now to hear forever
Screaming along my jagged tears
Cutting gingerly away at the vague traces
Of trust rumored to be found
Within the hardened depths
Of my pallor face
Without a wink, or a smile
I remain reluctant to acknowledge
Confessions exonerating the delicate pieces
Of what little love had been handed out to me
Through the knowing joys
Of my once shining adolescence
And incredulous happiness
That painted me in two.
And though I claim to have lost
My refuge inside my mosaic memories
(Blaming of course false pride for withholding in vain)
I find myself, oddly enough,
Planted outside my inner-melancholy
With a sudden need to grow a fondness
For the seeds I have discovered of late
Flourishing within my reasoning.
Purposely, I begin cradling them
With intent and deliberation
Somewhere far and in-between
The sacred and the silence
Before meticulously placing
Them along the decipherable charms
Of my nearly unrecognizable injured wall
Still standing defiantly after having inhaled
The ashes of frigidness
Suffocating my episodic beauty
Of isolation
Thus revealing to every inch of my flesh
I not only failed to breathe a better us,
I neglected to wake the amazing dream
Of his love's touch as well.
Even still, he cannot deny
His irresistible desire
To let his feathery fingertips
Be felt playing across my back
The Innocent
Nina failed to make it home when darkness came around
And everyone went looking for her but she wasn't found
A week had passed before they got to see Nina again
And everyone was shocked how she had grown so pale and thin
Nina couldn't tell them she was pulled inside a car
By a man who burned her many times with a cigar
And when they found out that she wasn't innocent and pure
Nina's father vowed that he would kill this man for sure
Weeks had passed without a word or hint of Nina's smile
Doctor's said she'd talk again but it could take a while
She would curl up in a ball and suck her little thumb
While staring blankly into space oblivious and numb
What had happened to their child they really didn't know
But they hoped that someday soon her mind would let it go
It took a while but when she finally found her voice again
Nina's father truly thought her screaming wouldn't end
They were driving to the store when all of this took place
And her dad could tell of something wrong just from her face
'Daddy look' she said at last 'there's that hurtful man'
And he followed for his mind already had a plan
'The bastard's going to finally pay for all the hurt he's done'
Were the words he said to her while reaching for his gun
Then this man he'd vowed to kill pulled up into his drive
And when Nina's father left this man was not alive
He drove awhile then said to her that now she'd be okay
But soon found out that wasn't true because he heard her say
'Daddy there's that hurtful man now he's over here'
And Nina said this every time she saw a man appear
Grand
The best of times we didn't make
Along with smiles I had to fake
Are all that I can take of you
The rest just give to you know who
My clothes it seems she's made to fit
You know she wears them to forget
A piece of shit dressed up like me
Still far excedes all she will be
She'll love my life; it's fucking great
Especially your fists of hate
Just so you know, your stupid whore
Had nearly made it out the door
But chose to laugh instead of run
And even thought that I was fun
Like I'm the one who bought her drinks
Or cares what stupid thoughts she thinks
But stealing rights or selling wrongs
Has kicked your heart where it belongs
Between the lines of my disdain
Where dreamers rhyme their angry pain
From broken strings tuned out of tears
To strident songs that no one hears
Composed of notes that scorn the past
And childish dreams I couldn't last
But keys now turn to play behind
And lock out my discordant mind
So heart I lack the skill to play
Keeps perfect time with yesterday
Density
Along the cobwebs
Of residual dreams
Lost in the corners
Of my mind
Adheres the beauty
Of verdant love
Shifting through
Chromatic splendor
Delicately brushed
With the grace of
Watered silk
Once soothed upon
My tired brow
As inspiration's
Caressing touch
It now enslaves me
To the endlessness
Of lonely searches
Through the broken colors
Still seen screaming apart
Between each blink
Of my tired eyes
Seeking the kinder eyes
And musing smiles
Once offering provisions
From the reservoir of dreams
For my troubled cares
To drink in the comfort
Of sleep within rest
For contentment's cruel touch
Of warmth and laughter
Though but a breath
Has left its
Perpetual sorrow
Aching
For my forever
Homesick
And as the haunting
Of my restless mind
Grows intensity
For the temporal
Darkness of
Immensity
Remorse arises
And beauty sets
Turning dim with
The forever shade
In vain...
I call upon
The weary dawn
Still
Yet never gone...
...And wait
Negated Sanctuary
After the untenable
Speculation disillusioning
Our favored universe
That displaced me
Outside the only breath
I was still able to endure
Had passed me along
To the darkened edges
Of a tortured night
I found myself easily lost
Amidst the faltering shade
Of love's nostalgic pines
Though seemingly content
Now to blacking out as a
Faded remnant of beauty
Thought falling within the
Careless perception of my tears
I was no longer capable
Of feeling past nor obtaining
The pretentious stabilities found
Within familiarity or warmth
Thus mistaking the
Compunction
In a knowing glimpse
Of my sorrowful refuge
Reluctantly searching me
Somewhere in-between
Yesterday's touch
And today's aloof distance
For the eminent hand
Belonging to my
Stranger of late
Whose only validity
Of consequence was
In rendering me
A weeping vision
To be
Unremittingly
Haunted
By forever's
Vacant song
Of lamentation
Partisanship
Yesterday,
I was a lost dreamer
Found only
With a questionable subjectivity
And an eviction notice
Among other things
Today,
I am ghost;
Existentially vague
Finding contentment in haunting
The passing world of the imagination
Amongst other things
Tomorrow,
I'll be a probability
And ponder through
Resentful eyes
At the passing of
Wonderment
In
Bewilderment
Along with other things
But always,
Never, and forever,
I'll be an abstraction
Of awareness
In keeping
A metaphoric inquiry
Apart from all things
Regress
Phantom shrouds of dreary old
Imposed on ancient smiles
Beckon placid somber night
In folds of nestled grace
Reified intemperance
Sulked spotless of remorse
Reconcile love's virulence
Symbolic, shallow calm
Denigrating loyalty's
Relinquishment of trust
Cry dense thy sorrowed avalanche
Embittered by design
Dwindle passion's envied sigh
Drown silent languor deep
Heed to furtive tear-drop flow
Scream distant thoughts to speak
Pallor fade from gentle eyes
Fall restful memory
Merely dust upon my pride
Love's sickened reverie
~My Exile of Repose~