drew Hoppe

My son
To you I pledge
My life
My love
My collected wisdom
Everything I have
All I am or ever will be
Every action
Every thought
For your well being
I would die
I would kill
And most importantly I will live
For you

There's a moment
A feeling
A falling
A breaking in my mind
I've looked and looked
Wandered and wondered
And I can not find
They say there's a light
But I'm losing this fight
Not sure I ever had it
A thousand lifetimes
I've imagined
And not one
Is etched in stone

You think I care whether you see?
I couldn't give a rats ass what you think of me
I come here because it has been my place
Long before I ever saw your face
I wouldn't marry her
To spite you, or out of hate for you
If you must know it ain't got shit to do with you
I've finally figured out
I'm... see more much better without
If you must know?
Its because I'm happy in ways I never imagined
And at peace with me and all I have and ever will be
I go to work, and sometimes I hate it
But I do it for her
No its not always flashy
Romeo and Juliet
Dumb shit
Like how I was at 18
But I've come to realize
That was a lie
From the moment I met your eyes
#idgafra

There's a ring in my pocket
A thought on my mind
All the barriers I could find
Long tumbled and over grown
I guess all there is now
Is to ask it#love

I walked about my second home
A town I had come to know
With friends and laughter
And echo's of yesteryear
I didn't shed a single tear
Here and there were memories
Ghosts only I could see
Its been too long
Its way too far gone
Things I can never have again
I know why, I know how
I know, I... see more know, I know
Years later, I'm still bitter and angry
Confused and sad
I know its all in my head
For all it matters it might as well have been a figment of imagination
And even as I know that's not true
That it was the most important time of my life
All it is now...
Is ghosts in my head#life

I used to be so alive inside
But in the army something died
I don't know what, I don't know how
But I'll relight that fire
Even if it kills me
Cause losing you was close enough to death
But losing me was something worse#life

It is all i do
I work
For money
for things
For me
And that ghost in my head
That is you
Long gone and shattered dreams
I work to heal
To fix
Not us....
But me
A healthy weight
A shiny smile
A mind that is whole
Oh I'm a mess now
But I won't always be
For once...
Not for you
For me
To... see more a smoke free, worry free me. A healthier more confident version of myself, the me I should always have been#none

You were the girl who would do anything for me, the only thing you couldn't do is make me, love me.#idk?

It's a feeling of happiness
That used to fill me up
But now I feel a building rage
Like incompetence follows me
Your intriguing questions heard once
And a million more
Are now nothing but an annoying bore
And the boredom made worse
By the feeling that if I were to leave
In search of happiness
You... see more would blow away
In the wind so insubstantial
When the going gets tough
The tough get going
But you...
Just fall apart
There seems to be a lacking
A sucking void
Where human strength of character
And inspiration lay
But I am not some master
And so I can not drive you to that conclusion
I did not know
That humans could become shadow
So insubstantial
And yet I stay
Someone has to hold you up#ughh

Can I scream screams
That never were dreamed
While the deaf whisper
Unheard parables
Terrible secrets
That everyone knows
Even as they deny
In the dark the light will die
But with a fight
And whisper one more lie#ugh