Gangsta Baby

~*~Name~*~ Angel Banks
~*~Sign~*~ Libra~*~
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As You all know i had a boyfriend who i fell in love with.
he left he disappeared i thought he was dead i did everything i could to find him
guess what
he came back in September-October 2010
he had cancer  he fought then he ran.
he ran away from everyone who cared then he went back to them then he came back to me.
he came back told me that he loved me.
honestly i still loved him but i got hurt again. i cant believe how many times i let this guy hurt me.
he was back for all of 3 weeks at tops i kinda think it may have been 2 weeks
i try to block it out i guess i succeed at some of it.
well getting off track.
i wrote poems i emailed i looked for a number i did everything. finally i got in contact with his old friend my old friend i guess you can say.
we talked she gave me a email address and everything a cell number.
we mainly kept in contact through email then he disappeared again.....
then a few weeks i got a new cell phone and texted him and got a response.
i pretty excited and wrote back right away and got a response again saying ttyl so i wrote back in the morning.
my response back was he was addicted to sex and was with another girl. apparently she never left yet.
i was like okay and he said he cheated on me and idk how he did that when the whole time we werent together just talking
the whole morning he was being a asshole to me doing the same thing different time.
he pushed me away before i knew what he was doing so i said okay good bye forever and i just cant forget him.
he ment the world to me i was willing to give up family and friends for him but apparently he wasnt on the same page.....
one day i was thinking about everything and i didnt delete his number i just couldnt do it i tried and didnt manage.
i texted him that day and asked why he came back why he led me on why he did this to me why he just had to break me again after i pulled myself together.
my response back was why are you texting me i told you to stop talking to me.
ugh i just need to know why you wanted to hurt me why????
ZANE BEE CALOR i dont understand why but i know its over and im happy it is but ill be broken until i know why and that prolli just makes you laugh..............

#pathetic, #poem, #but

Love is you + me
You + me was destiny
Destiny that happened once
Happened once upon a time
Once upon a time I was happy
I was happy with you
With you I knew it was true
It was true love
Love that is just a dream
A dream I wish was still real.

#love

To me there is only one way
One way to know that you really were in love
You think about that person every day
Every day goes by you feel above
Above the clouds in the sky
In the sky what ever happens you can't forget
Can't forget those days
Those day where we were together
We were together you and me
You and me forever and ever
Forever and ever you said to me
You said to me you loved me
You loved me and i loved you
I loved you and i still do
I still do no matter what
No matter what i cant get you off my mind
Icant get you off my mind every day
Every day this is my reminder
My reminder that there is only one way
One way to know i was really in love
Really in love with you
With you it was so true

#love

I See Your Name Every Time
I Read It On That Dotted Line
I Love Seeing It
But I Just Cant Believe It
You Up And Walked Away
You Left Me Here By The Way
Every Day I Prey
I Prey Ud Come Back Someday
Even Though I Know You Wont
I Still Have Hope
I Hope Ud Come Back To Me My Bumble Bee
Because No Matter What You Still Mean The World To Me
I Want To Stop Spreading These Tears For You
Im Sick And Tired Of Feeling Like Poo
And When I Said I Love You
I Hope You Ment It To

#broken, #heart

I Miss The Way We Used To Be
I Miss The You And Me
I Miss The Way I Felt When I Fell Asleep
I Miss The Way You Said You Loved Me
I Miss Talking To You
Now I Just Feel Like Poo
I Cant Move On Knowing I Still Love You


short yes but this was on my mind

#used

i see that guy across the way
i hope he looks my way
i want to say hey
but would he say hey
or laugh and walk away
i need my heart back
because i feel so out of whack
courage is what i need
i plead and plead
answer my prayers
im scared of those players
i miss the way i was
now its just about the buzz
the buzz i feel when i take that bottle
im not much of a role model
i dont care what it takes
i know i want my heart back though



#hearts

He Broke my heart
i don't know where to start
It hurt so much
now i cant handle anyone's touch
He Was the love of my life
and he stabbed me with a knife
it never works out
there's no doubt
i have to move on
it feels so wrong
there's times when i want to die
i can't say bye
i put a mask on everyday
that mask will soon fade away
only the hurt will be left in place
i hope i can keep pace
i get left in the past
i hope that heart break will be the last

#been, #awhile

everyday i look  into my past fighting back tears that just want to escape my eyes
i look back and see how much i fell
i fell in love with zane bee caylor
i swear hes the love of my life
when i go through everything hed ever said to me i  still cant figure out why he just stopped loving me
when i read i cant help it these tears just pour
wishing he would email me or something
wishing he would come back into my life
everyday i feel broken , ever since
he use to say how mush he loved me and couldn't live with out me
i believed him and i got hurt
i guess i deserved it i hurt him once too but nothing like this
i once told Zane my heart belong only to you
i think he still has my heart or he through it away
because i never feel the same as i did before
i feel so empty in side like ... like there no more reason to live
haha i have even called one of he's old friends and got her to go look because i couldn't
oh what i would give to have been able to tell him everything i have ever wanted to tell him on that last converstion
only if i knew it was the last
wait if i knew i would have prolii beg and beg him not to forget me
well thats all i got to say for now
but pleas eif any one knows zane caylorwho is 19 please tell him angel b is lookin for him and loves him
i love you zane
writing this feel so kidish of me even though i am 19 lol

#broken, #heart

When me and Zane got back together i fell back into love with him and he got sick after a while he had some kind of Cancer. When i found out i was so sad i thought he was dead. I asked everyone i could but i wasn't getting any answers. So when i finally got to talk to him i asked if he was healthy and he said now i am. I was so happy then some days past he stopped talking to me. I was e-mailing him over and over asking why why now why break his promise.I have start calling his old friends Jessica and Matty i thought because they were my former friends maybe they know.I got in touch with Jessica and she told me that he hasn't talked to any of us meaning her,me, and Matty. I asked Jess to find Matty and ask him for the number to Zane because he is the only one who knows the number to where Zane is at. When she went to ask Matty got mad at her and said never mention Zane name in front of him again. When i called her back and she told me all this i was so sad all i could do was cry. I have been trying to get ahold of my love for about hmm August 2008. Its almost been a year now. If someone who reads this and knows Zane Bee Calor please tell him that Angel.B.Banks loves him and misses him.

If You Zane Calor reads this your self i still love you and i miss you please get in contacts with me please over the internet.

I will always love you forever and always i will never feel the same about anyone else but you Zane you are my true love

I miss you so much
I Love you forever and always Angel.B.Banks

#one, #true, #love

My love story
it Started out in the summer time like a month after me and my ex bf broke up. I met this one guy whos friend thought i was hott so he added me on myspace and then all the sudden we started to talk. Matty still liked me but he backed off for Zane. For the whole summer we talked 2 weeks before summer was over he asked me to be his gf. I couldnt help but say yes bcuz i thought i was in love. After wards he never talked to her all the time like we use to talk so then i dumped him. He hurt me by not talking to me and i hurt him by breaking he heart. after I met this guy Aaron and he asked me to be his date to the dance in town I said ok. the whole night we had fun. when the dance was over he drove me home and then he kissed me. we started hanging out and a week after he asked me if i wanted to be his gf. I said yes and we hung out every night went to dinner and then everything changed a month and one week after. I found out that he went out drinking and cheating on me. so then i broke up wiht him, we still talk in all but i told him that thats all we can be.  Me and Zane Started Talkin again he allways told me he was sorry for not talking to me. He still thought i was with Aaron but i finally told him and he was so happy. Now all he has to do is make a commentment to me to talk to me  in a boring convo or fun no matter what we will talk. He told me yes to my one rule and we hopefully will soon be together again soon.



I AM SO SORRY FOR EVER HURTING U ZANE IT WAS A MISTAKE TO EVER LEAVE U 



I LOVE YOU ZANE WITH ALL MY HEART FOREVER AND EVER I JUST KINDA TOLD EVERYONE ON LOVELANDIA BCUZ IT IS SO TRUE I WILL ALWAYS LOVE U NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS

LOVE ANGEL B. BANKS 

#love

Your the first thing i think anout when i wake up
your the onei think about before i go to bed
your the one i think about in school
your the one i think about all day and night
your the one i think about on weekends
your the one i think about when your not here
i thinkg about you all the time
love you

#

From the first time you said you missed mefrom the first time you said loved me from the first time you put your arm around mefrom the first time we walked around as a couplefrom the first time you gramb my hand from the first time you kissed me on the cheekfrom the first time you kissed me on the lipsfor the first time i think i am in loveLove you always

#hmm, #poem, #who, #hehe, #idk

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