nothing much to say what i write will say it all, you may not understand it but its how i feel and can best describe my feelings.
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Empty, numb cold all  alone
No one to talk to, not even on the phone
Time passes, feelings never fade
Emptiness grows, leaving life in the shade.
I'm numb im life less, im cold and weak
So much so, it hurts to speak
I'm afraid to trust, not allowed to live
Locked up in my home with nothing to give.
It's... see more not your fault, I abused your trust
Let you down, fucked you over but by needs must.
I cant make this right, the damage is done.
But I miss you dearly my second mum
Stuck in the middle, you had to choose
I know that now, I was bound to loose
But fighting so much, against a few
Has left me weak and needing you.
I guess what I mean, or want to say
Is I miss you dearly in every way. 
I don't expect change, I just needed you to know. 
I love you .. . 
I'm so  sorry. . . I never meant to hurt you.
lonely and afraid
sat alone, confused and empty
my cold heart beats,but for what i dont know
questions unanswered memories that fade.
i dont want to remember any more
everyone sees the same face
no one bothers to delve deeper
for if they do, it scares them what they find
a hurt lost little... see more girl
no direction no love just emptiness
and a wanting to belong
how can i love ? i dont know how....
these barriers and memories push people away
to protect me from any more pain.
i get close to some one then wham
automatic pilot kicks in and im alone yet again
this isnt me!
robbed from my life i now live in fear
no love , no joy just bitterness and tears
take it away im had my fair share
i want to live i want to be me again!
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