Gumdrop05

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I said to you the i loved you just as you told me you loved me too,
You made me feel so safe and sure of my self, I just couldn't deny the truth,
Your kiss was ecstacy and at that divine feeling my conscience grew weaker,
All my fears and emotions that were trapped within me had finally been set free,
There was nothing else that could possibly stop us, my heart had made a decision,
That tender moment, the moment i decided to give my self to you
The beat of my heart was so intense; it was the only thing i could hear
As you kissed my neck softly, I gave into it as quickly as i said i never would,
Your heart began to beat just at hard as mine, and you looked at me sweetly,
Reassuring me that you loved me and that nothing could come between us,
I gave in and when i realized it, what i thought was mere beauty became a night mare
The crushing pain that you assured me I wouldn't feel began to become real
I tryed to push you off but you refused and the pain became intense
Tears began to pour down my face
The pain became unbearable and at that moment i screamed!
I woke the next morning panting frantically and frightened to death to realize
That it had all been a nightmare
That same day, I broke up with you, i couldn't even look at you
I still love you, but for one mistake you made that i thought was a nightmare
It wasnt a nightmare
It was real

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How come the person who is destined for you never seems to be any where near you?
Near you with time? Near you with distance? Any type of near! maybe even near you with feelings!!!? why?

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I count the days until I may finally be free,
I feel like a prisoner that no one can see!
I'm always so lost but yet some how I am found,
I count the days until I may finally find a true best friend,
Sadly the days that i could may never end,
It feels like I am in a cage that i wasnt forced into,
I count the days until i finally decide to come out.
I'm just a girl who is afraid to live life,
Some how I'm not afraid to grow up...
I count the days until I can finally say I am happy,
Instead I just always end up feeling so crappy.
Why do some people seem to find happiness while others cannot?
I count the days until i find the answer to all of life's questions,
I guess I'll never know them because it all takes experience,
No one in this world is fit to handle the truth.... the real truth.. or are we?

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You have been my very best friend for as long as i can remember,
Yet everything seems pointless when we try to fix it and nothing works..
I think its time we just say good bye for good, it would help in the long run,
Because i cannot bear this pain any longer, this really isn't making me stronger!
I'd rather call off our friendship than have to with stand all that may come,
I don't want any problems and I definitely don't want to cry,
Even though thats a lie because thats all I can do
Its not externally but internally how i cry because I don't know what I would do with out you
I'll make it through some how, I'm sure this time next year all the wounds will have healed
Honestly I just don't want it to be this hard but there is no other way out
Just tell me its over
Tell me like you truly mean it and be sure about it
You obviously don't care about our friendship like you once did
It would be best of you just let it go and never come back
Get out of my life and out of my face
You don't deserve a friend as loyal as me
You're ungrateful and conceited, it took me this long to see
What has honestly always been right infront of me
Sorry for ever telling you that you meant alot to me when now you are completely dead,
at least you are to me, because of all the pain you have put me through
This is me saying good bye
And i mean this with all the honesty in my heart
Please don't come back into my life because all you will do is wreck it
You were once my best friend but it doesnt feel that way any longer
Just tell me its over
Hopefully those words may some how make me stronger
DEDICATED to my BEST FRIEND: RHIANNON LOPEZ

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Its a long story but well its true, last year i dated this guy (Matt) from january until june and well those 5 month's where probably the greatest 5 month's in the world, but he fucked it all up, some how he just lost feelings for me. He took a lot that he didn't deserve and i wish i could take it all back but sadly that isn't what this life is about. Its about learning well, i learned or at least i thought i did. Then 5 month's later i started to hang out a lot more with my best friend Bryan who happens to be the guy that most of my poems are dedicated to. Anyways so i decide to tell him how i truly feel because hes my best friend and he deserves to know, so i do but then he tells me that he doesn't feel the same, he tells me that he felt the same way last year when i was dating Matt, and well of course i felt bad. I just didn't understand why i was so in love with him, and i think it was because he is my best friend, the thing is that he said that it wouldn't be a good idea to date because we are such good friends. I just don't get how? I mean if he felt something for me before, no one says that those feelings cant come back.. right? well i guess not because he told me that he was sure that those feelings couldnt come back.... i just didnt know what to think. So my christmas was ruined and well i started off the year hoping for some one who deserves my love. some one who wont take advantage of me in any way or criticize me at all, but i guess that there is no such person. There is always some kind of problem right? But hey, you guys tell me other wise, feel free to leave me comments on what you think because im totally lost.

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The earth whispers sweet verses that embrace my heart
One amazing kiss that the wind releases like a dart
Swaying in my hair and on my skin
this is a cure for those that sin
to realize what is important and what is real
another more reason why its beautiful to feel
just another try for those that give up
just another miracle for those with no luck
one touch upon your skin and you will turn to gold
this kind of experience will never get old

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Through times good and bad
we can all try to be together
in times you're all sad
ill be there for you forever
i wont ever back down and let you all go
you all means so much to me its time you should know
this year is a hard one with difficult times ahead
no matter how hard, all those times will soon be dead
if we stand together with love in our hearts
then we wont ever split up into parts
Family has no meaning with everyone gone
with out you all together it all feels so wrong
we will get through this no matter what goes on
with all of your hearts combined
all the bad memories will soon be gone
Dedicated to my godparents

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I cant help but to pray for you
Every night
I cant help but to think about you
Every night
Your always on my mind where ever i go
I believe this is important and you should know
That its you who keeps me up
Every night
We are best friends but i cant stop the fight
You are all i dream of
Every night
Dedicated to my best friend: Bryan Gueche

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When ever our hands touch I feel sparks
When im down my worlds shade is dark
Suddenly my world lights up like a summers day
Then i realized that your the one who can take my pain away
Your kind eyes are fixed in my dreams
I cant stop loving you or so it seems
how can those feelings you spoke of be gone?
How come they cannot return for once?
I can make you so happy, if only you would let me.
I hope you are still thinking about it
I feel that there is still some hope left for us.
Dedicated to my best friend: Bryan Gueche

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