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I'm sure you've had this experience before.

You are in a crowded room. You're surrounded by boring, noisy chatter

when,

suddenly, this gorgeous guy enters the door. Your eyes meet.

Instantly,

time stands still. The universe grinds to a halt. Except for this

attractive man in front of you, everything in your vision becomes a

giant

blur. The hubbub of the crowd becomes a soft muffle and, from out of

nowhere, you here gentle violin music from the background.


One week later, he's your boyfriend.   A few weeks later, you

discover

that your boyfriend's a pathological liar, buried in credit card debt,

borrows money from all his girlfriends (you're his eight in six

months).

Your mind says, 'Dump him' Your heart says, 'But it was love at first

sight!'  Here are the consequences ...


You become so focused on the magical first moment, you become blind to

the

dark side of the relationship.


Six out of seven days, you're fighting with your boyfriend. But you

can't

give him up because you met each other in such a magical moment. Your

car

keys fell and he picked it up, and then your eyes met, you smelled his

deodorant, and you dropped your keys again ......How can you not be

meant

for each other?


You become a love-at-first- sight junkie that you could miss out on the

'real thing'.


One intelligent woman told me, 'Bo, there's this guy who's courting

me.

He's okay. He's kind, he's responsible, he has a good job.......'


"I could hear a 'but' coming ," I said.

'but there are no sparks!" she bit her lip.

"No violin music playing in the background huh?none. When I see him,

the

background music I hear is lululalu-lalulalula lei..."


Listen. You don't need a magical first moment to meet our potential

husband. The important things are mature character, financial

responsibility, ability for commitment, compatible mission and

values..."


I actually met this girl again on her wedding, and before she marched

down the aisle, she whispered to me, "Do you hear the violin music, Bo?

It's loud and clear."


It doesn't have to be love at first sight.

In fact, marriages with the least adjustments are those between friends

who've known each other for years before they realize that they're good

marriage material.


What is love at first sight? Many times, it's lust at first sight. Or

infatuation at first sight. Don't give it too much weight.


Here's the truth: it takes a moment to experience infatuation but

true

love takes a lifetime.

#myths, #love, #marriage