how do u open ur heart and let out an oblivion?when u know that pain and anqiush and hurt will take over ur body when u can honestly feel it running thru ur veins?and 4 that time u open ur heart it is no longer urs....bcuz for then for that split second,that hour that night..however long it takes u give in and u give up too that hurt.ppl always tell u to talk but havnt we all been brought up never too give up never too give in?what a contradiction!sometimes u can hide ur feelings u can pretend there not really there but u dont do this too fool anyone u do it cuz ur not ready too deal with it,and then for the other person it becomes too late bcuz then you realise that that person is damaged in a way u dont realise untill ur too close. the other night when i told u i needed u it was not cuz i wanted to be saved it was bcuz i needed too be held.and when i realised i was totaly alone i did sumfin very stupid which i deeply regret bcuz i dont want to go bk to being the person i was. i am not losing my head i am not desperate im simply a soul that has beem mis treated and has never grieved,and now i am grieving i am grieving for what has been taken from me,i guess im saying goodbye to a part of me a part that should never be released.i am not talking about what did or didnt happen between us anymore i am not talkin about who did what too who i dont blame u 4 anything and i will no longer blame myself. i will always love u love sarah xxxxxx AND WHEN YOU READ THIS FOR DIFFERENT REASONS ITS TOO LATE CUZ IM LEAVING YOU YES I WILL ALWAYS LOVE U BUT ONCE A CHEAT ALWAYS A CHEAT.WHEN I NEEDE U U WERE FUCKING HER.WHEN I WAS BEING RAPED U WERE FUCKING HER WHEN I CRIED AND I DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO DO U WERE FUCKING HER.WHEN I LOST MY BABY U WERE FUCKING HER A YEAR IS A LONG TIME SPO U MUST OF LOVED HER CUZ WHAT WE HAD WAS GREAT AND U RISKED IT ALL AND YES IT TOOK ME TIME TO REGAIN THE COURAGE TOO TURN MY BAK ON U BUT I PROMISE U ALL THO MY DAYS ARE SAD ALTHO THEY MAYBE FOR A LONG TIME. U WILL BE THE ONE WHO REGRETS IT NOT ME BUT THEN IT WILL BE TOO LATE!!