1)  She checks her cell phone constantly as you're conversing
2)  It has a charm on it
3)  she has more than one toe ring and her big toe is hairy
3)  she's growing a beard
4)  If the menu features Losbster at Market Price...she orders it
5)  She has a tattoo on her butt that wasn't centered properly
6)  It has a guys name on it
7)  Most of her family is in jail...for murder
8)  Her kid brother says nothing when introduced and glares at you intensely
9)  She's driving a black Corvette and has a pager
10) She honestly believes she's going to win the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes
11) She smokes 2 packs a day (but you learn it's actually 3)
12) She drives through tolls on the Easy Pass Lane...but doesn't have Easy Pass
13) She constantly goest to the ladies room and you have to search for her
14) She loves bowling and that's all she talks about
15) She thinks OJ was innocent
16) She uses her Panic Button to find her car, at McDonalds
17) She tries to fight you for the remote
18) She doesn't trust your sense of direction
19) She thinks every other girl is coming on to you and picks fights with them
20) She constantly talks about babies
22) You order a 2-piece meal at KFC and she grabs the breast without asking
23) She slurps loudly when drinking the last bit of a milkshake 
24) She has a chronic hickup problem and denys it
25) She forgets your birthday after a year of dating
26) She sings horribly off key in your car...each time you go out
27) She wears Uggs to church
28) with J-Lo sweats
29) She accents her lips with gaudy liner and looks like the bride of Frankenstein
30) She wears false eyelashes and they're on crooked
31) Her pointer toe criss-crosses another toe 
32) She stays in the shower until the hot water is gone
33) She uses powdered make-up excessively
34) She is addicted to tanning salons and her skin is turning to saddle leather
35) She wears short skirts and has a toilet ring mark on her legs
36) She brushes the front of her hair but the back looks like a birds nest
37) She talks constantly about her ex-boyfriend...a year into your relationship
38) She's always on the phone wiith her mother and you catch them arguing about you
39) She has friends and they all get quiet when you enter the room
40) She plucked her eybrows and penciled on new crooked ones
41) Her cleavage has lint and you swear you saw it walking