Why does she feel like there is nothing left in her life? Well I can’t tell you why she felt that way she felt it everyday. So when she asked for help no one listened to her that is why she never asked! But this time she needed someone anyone! And when she tried to ask her family they just yelled at her and asked why? Why was she hurting her self they didn’t understand!!! What she needed from them was not yelling but love and support she felt so bad that she had hurt her family and you know what that is why she lied to them about her cutting!!! She felt like they didn’t understand and they just make it about them but its about me for once its not about how great Amy is or how Mindy messed up again supposable and how Missy and T.J. are fighting or about how dad is sick or how I hurt them don’t you think I am hurting inside I mean I hurt so much I and I don’t understand and how we don’t have any money to do anything!!! For once it was me I never told anyone that besides Kayla I don’t want to hurt them because I know that thy love me so much and I know that they do but some how I don’t feel it maybe I’m a cold hearted person oh god what is wrong with me? I should feel there love but some how I do but I don’t when they yelled at me that was just to much I just wanted to say “you really think that this is helping me?”  Hello! Its not when you yell at me then that make me feel worst. I mean I know that my family feels like its always about me but gosh its like I am screaming HELP ME DON’T YELL AT ME talk to me calm and support me and just help me get throw this hard time don’t pretend like it didn’t happen ok it did there is no pretending anymore I think now that I get this out I know that my family loves me but they just need to support me in this hard time because I have been holding this in for a long time and I can do it anymore so I just want them to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be ok!!!!!!!!!! but then i realized that nothing was going to be ok so that night the metal was calling to me like an old friend so i took the metal razor and i put it against my wrist knowing what i was going to do so just before i wrote my family and friends a letter then i took it and i said hello over and over again to my metal friend until i saw a white light then i knew at that moment that everything was going to be ok