 | I remember sitting in the room with all of my things packed, my calmliness within turned into corruption because of what was unmasked.
He walked in with a suprise look, over taking his face set, he never thought that I would do it, all the while I'm thinking is this something that I will regret.What is this he asked me, this is all my stuff, you said pack your stuff and be gone. It's a hurting thing because I know exactly where we went wrong. He stood me up holding my hands, looking into my eyes he wanted to cry but had to much pride. So this is it huh? Yes! my things are packed and this is where we say our good-bye. I didn't really mean what I said he replies, I said 2yrs. Of being unhappy and I don't believe that we really tried. Tried what, tried hard enough to really make this marriage work.We say that we love each other but yet we lack making effort. I don't want you to go and I never want you to be away from me I love you, I said It's to late now, where was your love all the many nights that you left me alone, the many days that you never took me nowhere, the many nights that I was missing you? Where was your love then? No! I'm not perfect, of course I've had my share of wrong doings, but nothing compares, nothing compares!He tells me to go away for a week and allow this to be our separation time and come back,oh how love tares. What was suppose to be my vacation has now become a vacation turned tragic, thinking that the man that I am suppose to spend the rest of my life with is really sending me away just so that he can be free with another chick. He only came back home to get dressed for a concert, not to still find me here, since I'm still here he might as well put on his acting suit and act like me leaving is his greatest fear. He's dressed now and we're both outside waiting for his ride to come get him with his bac pac. I said you do realize that I am about to walk out of your life and maybe never, ever, ever come back. He said yes, I know, as if it meant nothing to him at all, I gave an expression on my face like I can't believe you just said that. He walked upon me face to face and said these words....I am frustrated, angry, and bitter but yet I love the hell out of you and I don't want to separate at all. I need you away from me cause I never want to put my hands on you so I need you gone. Apart of me just wants to brake down and cry and another doesn't want me to loose control because I am holding my composure together. I don't want you to go. I said may I ask you a question? ~He said of course, If I go away and decide to stay and not come back would you come for me? In a heartbeat, he replied I would drive to where you are and make you get in my car and bring you back home with me. Your word is bond? He said yes. All the while he was still going to the concert I thought if someone is getting ready to walk out of your life and you don't want to see that happen, then anything going on in your life at that very moment doesn't matter, I thought what matter is keeping your marriage from falling apart and doing what is necessary to keep him/her forever by your side by any means necessary. I told him that I will always love him and walked back into the house as he got in the truck with his friend and drove off, I felt like my heart that I once gave to him, he gave it back to me and I was holding it in my hands. The tears that fell from my eyes that day, my chest just wouldn't stop hurting and it still hasn't stopped. He is in one city and I am in another til this very day and we hardly ever talk to each other.....I wait.... TO BE CONTINUED
Submitted by Heavensdoor |  |
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