I really don't know what to write here. Well recently everything has gone downhill fast. I got into drugs and alcahol, Got sent to the hospital in october, Passed out in a ditch in the winter. Up in the North thats pretty bad. My parents have me on a very short leash now. The lack of privacy and trust makes me paranoid, They found out i cut in the hospital. The doctor had to put an IV in my left arm. Then I met Nathan, and everything got better, For a while. Now all it seems like is that he's forcing me to do things i dont want to do. And I havent seen my bestfriends face in two weeks. In a town this small, and her living in the house on the street over, Thats saying alot. Shes usually with her boyfriend now. She doesnt go to school anymore because theres these girls who want her dead. She drinks and does drugs all day everyday. And she tried extacy a week ago. I sometimes inhale keyboard cleaner. I love the feeling but i know its bad. I am addicted to energy drinks, 2 or three a day at least. My hands got this weird twitch now. I think i should see the doctor, but im scared he might want a drug test, or else he'll say i cant have energy drinks anymore. My boyfriend told me that if i dont start believing in god, that he wont be able to love me eternally. i love him but hes starting to scare me. anything else? Oh yeah. and im fifteen years old.
Last year you were the cute boy-next-door with the warm brown eyes
Last year you'd make me laugh even when i felt like crying
Last year I'd catch you looking at me and we'd stare at each other for hours
Last I'd close my eyes thinking everything will be okay.
My best friends boyfriend.
I cant believe it.
And on the night you were walking for cancer too!
with your grandmother!
Whats wrong with me?
I can no longer breathe.
This darkness has taken over me.
I can no longer find one thing thats right with me.
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