I've been feeling kinda crazy recently. Trying not to blame it on how you've been treating me. But you're making it very hard. And all of a sudden I've got a profound new understanding for them psychotic bitches. You know the ones: they be slashin' tires, startin' fires, tappin' your telephone wires. Now I just realize they need some attention, just like I need your fucking attention. Like a good thirst quenching. I am trying to hold on to my very last little bit of reality, not pass over into the world of insanity. But you are making it very hard. Every time your cell phone "accidentally" drops the call when I'm in the middle of pouring out my all, I am that much closer to becoming that psychotic bitch. Every time that you say "baby, I'm on my way home" and I put something pretty on and then wait there all night alone, I am that much closer to becoming that psychotic bitch. Every time you fail to see all I do for you and how good I am to you, I am that much closer to becoming that psychotic bitch. And every time that you borrow my car, and leave my ass with no fucking gas, I am that much closer to becoming that psychotic bitch. And every time that you allow yourself to come before I am done, I am that much closer to becoming that psychotic bitch. And I don't know what I need to do. It's been two years and more tears than anybody should go through. I put a roof over our head, I am damn good in bed, hell yes, I give head. I throw down in the kitchen, never do a lot of bitchin', help take care of your children, do all the books and the billing, put up with your ex wife, and all the other crap in your life. I am mad loyal. I don't need you to do my hair and nails cause I'm not spoiled. I make my own money, honey, so why you still actin' so fuckin' funny? But then again, maybe you're not acting funny, maybe I'm just a dummy, in love with a man nearly twice my age. While I hope and pray we get engaged, damn, to him am I just a phase? This is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. Am I just a by-product of his midlife crisis? Is he happy to be wifeless? Just one thing for me to do, recognize that in this relationship, I will never say "I do". I could keep this man as my boo, or move on to somebody else, but who? I don't give a fuck, I'm through.