MISSunderstood's blog
my parents want me to choose between them and my boyfriend
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morninglight
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 | choose the parents. Boyfriends come and go. Your parents know best. You only have one set of parents. 18, you don't know as much as you think you do. Just being honest! |  | |||
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MISSunderstood
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| the thing is i dont want to have to choose. My parents have been so horrible to me since this whole thing happend telling me they are fed up with me and dont want anythingto do with me and just are screwing with my emotions. i know they love me. but i wish they could respect my happiness. and i know boyfriends come and go but this is COMPLTELY diffrent. but i appreciate your opinion. thankyou | | |||
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Roselia
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| Hey Missunderstood. Choices are hard to deal with, especially one like this. But if you're faced with an ultimatum, ultimately you have to choose the one you can't live without. I've heard that most people have several 'loves of their life' in their lifetime. But family, is much harder to come across.Families are so complex. You love em then hate em. But at the end of the day; they are you're blood. Hopefully they can understand how you're feeling in this, and maybe you guys can come to a compromise; but sometimes you need to make a sacrifice for the greater good. The question is; out of the two of them (parents and boyfriend) who do you love and need the most. And which one are you willing to give up (I mean you're parents may come around eventually - if their not long term grudge holders). Anyways - hopefully that helped, if not; Good Luck. | | |||
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MISSunderstood
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| yes its really hard. and everyday it just gets tougher and tougher. ive always been bad when it comes to making choices. i love my family so much but latley every decision i make they think is horrible and they think that all i care for is myself. and thats not true at all. I love my family but i also love my boyfriend. i wish they could just understand that he makes me happy. i tried doing the whole compromise thing but my mom just said that hes trash and they he will never go anywhere in life. truth of it is though he works his ass off everyday. But when i try and talk to my parents it just turns into one big argument and they say that their minds are set. and it just hurts....but i really appreciate you taking the time to give me your advice. ive never done this blogging thing before but it seems to be making me feel a bit more at ease to hear others opinions. thankyou roselia <3 | | |||
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Roselia
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| Ah I don't doubt it. Poor thing. Choices you gotta love em aye. But of course you have to think about yourself when it comes to something like that. You can't let people dictate how you should run your life, people give their opinions and advice to help guide you, but it all falls on you, at the end of the day. Your parents may be harsh and mean and all that - but they wouldn't be like that for no reason (they care about u and want whats best for you), don't get me wrong - what they've been saying is totally out of line but in their minds your their little girl and they have such high expectations for you and the life they want you to live. Love is such a pain in the ass and it gets you into all sorts of ridiculous predicaments, but you gotta rise to the occasion and not let your love blur what's right and what's wrong. If their minds are set - then your talking to a brick wall, there's no compromise - call it ignorance or whatever, but that's that. But ask yourself, what is important to you. You say you love your man but do you really believe it will last? If you do, then sometimes you gotta take a risk, but if that risk is at the price of losing your family... if you know in your heart, you will last, then why not take a chance? But whose going to be most affected by your decision..you, your man or your family? | | |||
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morninglight
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| Parents may seem cross but that is their shock. The things they are saying are a reflection of their deepest fears for you. Parents may seem stern but underneath is love. Parents may seen uncaring but the opposite is true. They have loved you since you were a baby and would never steer your wrong. They've lived through life's hard lessons and see things more clearly than you. You speak of sympathy for your boyfriend and sympathy is not love. What you call "love" is likely sympathy mixed with lust and hormones and dreams...but this dream you seek can never have a happy ending. You cannot sacrifice your parents and expect to be happy. No man too can say he loves you and ask you to disregard your parents...that would be manipulation rather than love...and it will lead all to sadness. Whatever you do, however you break their hearts...your parents will always love you. I know all sides of what you're going through and you must break things off with the boy. It will be sad. But you already know they are right in what they say....and if you can listen with your heart to what they are really saying....they love you so much they will do anything to steer you clear of trouble. If your boyfriend shows disrespect for your mother he will show you the same disrespect in time. And if you choose him and find later they were right...how will you mend their broken hearts or mend the fragile things broken that can never be mended? You've gotten yourself in a difficult situation....its part of growing up now to get yourself out of it. Good luck! | | |||
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Jennifer1
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| Although parents may come off as mean and unfair, they are still your parents. My advice to you would be to sit your parents down and explain to them about his problems. If that doesn't work, perhaps you could convince your boyfriend to apologize to your mother. And if THAT doesn't work, wait until your 18 and then your mother won't have a say in it. | | |||
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