I think you could put your thoughts in standard English and you'd reach a few more people and you'd still be you. But I was just thinking....I'd have missed that surprise "fuK dat shit" which made me laugh. I liked this poem a lot. It really does hurt so much, I know just how that goes and feel sorry for you. You've had to develop thick skin and a false sense of pride that pushes people awa. But it's lonely inside. I know just how that goes too..trying to be so strong as if nobody can hurt you. This is why I liked this poem..you showed your vulnerability and reading this I felt your sadness. Remember, your heart inside....you're free to feel whatever you want to : ) Hope life opens up for you a little more and brings you some happiness. Instead of being caught up with where you are right now....dream where you'd like to be....maybe a life completely different from life now because this stage of your life will pass quickly.